Alhamdulillah, the wedding is over with.
We had a very small wedding compared to other Desi weddings. 80-90 people. My SIL is in his residency program, my daughter recently completed her masters. Both families, inc bride n groom wanted something small, simple and not extravagant. Nikkah was held in the masjid and a combined shaadi/walima joint reception a few hours later at another dear friends house.
We told family etc upfront that we were not catering to anyone’s timetables and plans. If you can be there, be there, if not.. not
My daughter wore a heavy party dress. She looked mA amazing. No lengha etc costing lakhs and lakhs. She had said i would rather use that money on education, a house, the future etc. We all wore much simpler outfits. The groom wore a simple sherwani.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Prior to the dars, i and my husband went to my inlaws house to "invite’ them again to the wedding.
My MIL screamed, ranted about her rights etc. I kept quiet. Hubby dealt with them all. told them this is the venue, this is the timings. Be there, up to you.
Day of the dars, my devrani called to say they would not be attending. that I would sow what i reaped etc. that my daughter will have a marriage devoid of blessings as we have not allowed 'elders" to take part or have their rights.
I almost had a panic attack at that moment. Thanked my devraani and hung up . I had put the call on speaker and my husband and my own Mum heard all of this.
My Mum is not a nasty person, she told me to make salaat, give sadqah and leave the matter alone.
We had the dars function. No in laws. attended.
We had a mehndi type function, except it was more of a way for families and friends to meet. No elaborate affair, dress, rasms etc. you could call it a sing along.
My FIL attended as did one of my husbands brothers from out of the country and one sister. No MIL, or devraani /devar from first post.
Day of the nikkah, my husband called his Mother , told her he would love for her to be here. and she told him she would not be attending. My fIL , devar , one naand attended as did their families. My FIL told me how MIL missed opportunity of a lifetime, and said it was her loss. This was the first grandchildren’s wedding to take place. FIL got up to give an impromptu speech. he took the microphone, and he went on about family ties, keeping it together or you will have a lifetime of regret and mistakes. This happened so fast we were scared he would say something inflammatory and inappropriate. My FIL had tears in his eyes as he spoke how he held her just after she was born. I don’t get people.
I am just so glad this is over with. Th past few weeks have been stressful. I have not seen my MIL since the day I visited her house. Other’s have told me she is complaining about me, how she was not invited etc.
We did the wedding they way we felt it should be within our means.
I am amazed that my FIl attended. It was nice to have him, and we feel he was happy to be there. Everything happens for a reason. it is my MIL’s loss.
