Re: Dating non-muslim girls
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Re: Dating non-muslim girls
Maybey yes. But these people like most of the people on this site are in various stages of westernization. The more westernized the more likely to date outside Islam, Why are girls looked down upon when they date non muslims? Someone with a few atoms of common sense can answer this question for you. In case you need verses from our (muslim) holy book, I can provide that...
I don't think PCG is referring to shadi. A muslim guy dating a non-muslim girl is just as wrong as a muslim girl dating a non-muslim guy. So why is it that our society turns a blind eye when guys do it. However, it is looked down upon when a muslim girl is doing it.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
Society is evil, with patriarchal structure both from religion and culture..... you ladies really need to get on with your lives.....
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
I would sure like to know which race I brought in??
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
I don't think PCG is referring to shadi. A muslim guy dating a non-muslim girl is just as wrong as a muslim girl dating a non-muslim guy. So why is it that our society turns a blind eye when guys do it. However, it is looked down upon when a muslim girl is doing it.
Society turns a blind eye because guy are allowed to marry outside of their religion whereas girls are not allowed to...Need a reference for this law ?
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
Actually the verse that suggests men can marry women of The Book, i.e. Jewish and Christians, without having to convert their wives - from what I recall, there was a debate about how that is actually a non-gender biased verse - it's not directly addressed to men. But that's my knowledge from many years back debating on this in the forums, so I could be wrong.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
But yeah, originally, I meant it to be a debate on DATING not marriage. And as I got off topic myself, my bad. Whatever, do threads ever go the way I want here anyway?
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
pcg is obviously annoyed with the double standards applied by parents & muslim society.
in this case the double standards are obvious when muslim men & girls date( having physical relations) with non muslims. in the mens case ' it is just a passing phase' and in the girls case, it is " unacceptable" / blasphemy...
pcg believe it or not it is the same double stands in Hindus too......
( it seems all indians & pakistanis turn a blind eye to men, "having a bit of fun" and Condemn a girl, even if she smiles at the "other" men).
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
By all means I am not trying to diminish the amount of plentiful booty that desi men think they can gather nor do I deny them their Allah given right to fertilize whomever and whatever they want. But if men get their fair share of fun then why can't women? Why don't the same rules apply?
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
'cos this is the real world.........and not the lala land.....get it?
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
By all means I am not trying to diminish the amount of plentiful booty that desi men think they can gather nor do I deny them their Allah given right to fertilize whomever and whatever they want. But if men get their fair share of fun then why can't women? Why don't the same rules apply?
This isn't just how the 'desi system' works. It is the same everywhere.
Men with a lot of girlfriends are cool, and women with a lot of boyfriends are seen as ... [fill in].
Is it right? No, it isnt.
You want to do something about it? Then teach your sons/brothers some values and morals. Learn them what is right and what is wrong. Teach them what good muslim men should be like. And move on with life.
Or is it just the -unfair- part that bothers you? I.e. why can't women have the loose life?
Then fall low to that level and have your share of fun aswell. Go date every Joe and Jack you meet, because if guys can why can't ladies? And move on with life.
It is that simple.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
I actually did not ask you for your personal advice, but if you'd like to give it, why not approach it through a PM as oppose to derailing the thread?
Amazing, I know, but not every topic I open up has something to do with my life. Sometimes, incredible to believe, there is the joy of just discussing and debating a topic.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
Khudaya khair!
I was talking in general. I didn't mean you in person. Stop being so paranoia.
I am not interested in your life or whatever you do. No matter how much you like to believe that all people are dying to know every step that you take.
I just wanted to give my opinion on the topic and NOT on your personal life.
I don't even know how the thread is being derailed with what I said. What do you want to hear? Us women crying about how unfair and messed up the world is because guys can get away with every wrong and right, whereas us women get looked down upon if we do the same.
You (NOT YOU you, but you as in general) can either whine about it or actually pass on good values to your offspring and do your part against it.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
Debating a topic does not equate to whining.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
^ True. And I never said.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
its not only in dating, women also earn less then men, even if they are equally qualified.
From birth, indians (and possibly pakistanis too) frown on girls being born, they are like a liability, whereas boys are their assets. someone who will look after them in their old age. women are 'paraya dhan'.
in india in certain homes, the boys/men eat first and the girls/ women eat the left overs.
our value structure is pro boys and anti women - this is the horrible/shameful truth of our society/ culture.
life is unfair. Accept it, or fight it, as someone suggested above.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
its not only in dating, women also earn less then men, even if they are equally qualified.
From birth, indians (and possibly pakistanis too) frown on girls being born, they are like a liability, whereas boys are their assets. someone who will look after them in their old age. women are 'paraya dhan'.
in india in certain homes, the boys/men eat first and the girls/ women eat the left overs. our value structure is pro boys and anti women - this is the horrible/shameful truth of our society/ culture. life is unfair. Accept it, or fight it, as someone suggested above.
True cultural double standards against women start from birth to age of marriage and beyond. From education, to work after marriage, to saas-bahu dramas. Religion never condones it. It is cultural and often enforced not just by some guys but also women. There are also quite a few guys who are against these double standards but when they see some women dismiss it they must also wonder why they should say anything against it. I am not sure why the mother-in law would be against her daughter in law working when she really wants to or setting some arbitrary age for a daughter in law. It may be because of jealousy, because they were deprived of those opportunities and now they want to continue this cycle or maybe they don't want their daughter in law to achieve more than the daughter. I don't think an educated mother in law, who has worked, will think the same otherwise it will be hypocritical. As for dating and why desi guys in the west might date outside their group and not date desi girls or from different religious background I think it is a number of reasons. Desi guys are generally more promiscuous then most desi girls (not to offend desi guys but this is the truth as I am sure it is with many other racial backgrounds). They are willing to date, have premarital sex but generally may not commit/marry the girl at that time or straightaway. Some exceptions may exist. However, most desi girls are not willing to do the same because of religious reasons and they know the double standards. That even if they believe the guy will eventually commit what if he doesn't and leaves her for a girl of his mother's choice who is from back home, young and supposedly "never had a relationship." I know of girls who have been dumped by guys because they would not engage in pre-marital sexual relationships and I never have and will put myself in that situation of dating a guy. They are devastated especially when they find the guy has moved on to someone else. If a guy likes a girl enough he should be able to propose and marry her not insist she breaks her rules for him. I don't believe this try and buy idea that some guys say- that you need to have a long or live-in relationship, and know each other completely before marriage. If it's true love then it shouldn't matter. People's appearances and bodies change with age all the time and if someone says that they are basically saying if with time you change they might not be interested. So if a spouse gets injured, has an accident and they are not same as before , does that mean you leave them? No, marriage means lifelong commitment. I think desi guys probably have issues with desi girls- the emphasis on job, status over the person's character and personality. I have heard sad stories that male friends I have made online have told me of girls leaving a guy they dated to marry someone their parents approve etc which I don't agree with either. If you're going to date a guy who wants to marry you, you should try to make your parents see your side and if the guy is a good guy and you have common beliefs then he shouldn't be dismissed because of just job, or racial background.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
^ I liked the post without reading it completely but the few first lines I happened to read were making a lot of sense. Hopefully the standard was maintained throughout.
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
^ I liked the post without reading it completely but the few first line I happened to read were making a lot of sense. Hopefully the standard is maintained throughout.
sorry I start writing a comment and end up writing a novel :) maybe I should ditch my career and become a writer lol. I tried to maintain a similar standard throughout and hopefully its a lucid comment :)
Re: Dating non-muslim girls
sorry I start writing a comment and end up writing a novel :) maybe I should ditch my career and become a writer lol. I tried to maintain a similar standard throughout and hopefully its a lucid comment :)
Thanks for the nice long read.