I think this is a much harder question than what many people think.
There was certainly a time when I would say, dating is haram, period. I do believe that dating just for "fun" or sexual gratification is haram.
But it gets more complicated than that. I feel that if the intent is to find someone with whom you can have a married life, then I think it's okay. There should be boundaries, and for each individual I suppose those are different. But I do not think that it is required in Islam to marry a stranger, and if you want to meet someone with whom you can make a home, there should be opportunities outside of sitting in someone's living room staring at the floor while various aunties and uncles ask you awkward questions about what you do for a living.
I've seen a lot of people -- girls specifically -- "left behind" because not only didn't they date, they also felt guilty about and generally avoided meeting with boys outside their family. Since, unfortunately, it's very difficult for Pakistani(-American) women to get married after a certain age, I think it is often too late when people realize that they need to become more outgoing to find someone to marry.
I think this is a much harder question than what many people think.
There was certainly a time when I would say, dating is haram, period. I do believe that dating just for "fun" or sexual gratification is haram.
But it gets more complicated than that. I feel that if the intent is to find someone with whom you can have a married life, then I think it's okay. There should be boundaries, and for each individual I suppose those are different. But I do not think that it is required in Islam to marry a stranger, and if you want to meet someone with whom you can make a home, there should be opportunities outside of sitting in someone's living room staring at the floor while various aunties and uncles ask you awkward questions about what you do for a living.
I've seen a lot of people -- girls specifically -- "left behind" because not only didn't they date, they also felt guilty about and generally avoided meeting with boys outside their family. Since, unfortunately, it's very difficult for Pakistani(-American) women to get married after a certain age, I think it is often too late when people realize that they need to become more outgoing to find someone to marry.
you read my mind! great answer, sahar, i feel the same way. especially that last bit.
Wht do u think bout it?
I know some pple say it isn't allowed in islam lekin they do date.....Aur kuch laug ese hote heijn jin pe koi assar nahee hota
and mangni ke bad fiance se milna kya yeh bhi dates mein shamil hota hey?
well define dating..is it just a casual coffee/dinner thingy for one day to see if you click etc...? if so then its all goood
If your dating and going out for weeks and months and having sexual relationship with that person before marriage then that can be a terrible thing...cuz if that fragile relationship breaks up then it can break your heart and ruin ur life for a year or two untill u find someone else.
stay single, dont mingle cuz u get tingles when u see the other gender ;)
i think after engagement its okee to go out with you finance....:p
Not that i am saying it is totally useless, but it is still comical on how many restrictions many families put on their sons and daughters if they get engaged when it was ok before to meet him before?
Sometimes, desi culture is weird. I know some people from here do nikah in pakistan and then do rukhsati when the wife gets the visa etc. Isn't she technically your wife [or wife to be?] in those years between nikah and rukhsati?
PS Personally, i would want to be able talk to my fiance and develop some understanding [likes / dislikes] than being rather cut off with her until rukhsati..
The title of the thread is weird. Dating before marriage... err...dating after marriage shouldnt even be thought of...no? More like dating leading to marriage is more appropriate i think..?
although unfortunately i have seen couples where the lady or the dude have a lil somethin something on the side. usually leads to divorce and all, but sometimes the perps did not get caught or cleaned up their act after some sorty of awakening. oh yeah..in case you are wondering desi muslims..
