I am thinking of taking belly dancing because its good as an exercise and I would dance infront of my (future) husband or a group of girls(not guys). Do you think its wrong to learn dancing for this purpose? The dance class will be all females. Now I was talking to a muslim arabic teacher of mine, and he said its good to do things or learn things that would add spice to a married life on the part of both partners. So, what do you think? Would you do it? Why/why not? If you are going to say that music/dancing is haram, and thats why you wouldnt, thats fine, and I understand that, but for those who dont feel this way, I’d like to hear from you as well.
For the guys, would you mind if your wife took lessons? Thanks.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
So, what do you think? Would you do it? Why/why not? If you are going to say that music/dancing is haram, and thats why you wouldnt, thats fine, and I understand that, but for those who dont feel this way, I'd like to hear from you as well. Thanks.
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Speaking from a guys perspective, if my prospective wife did that for the sake of adding spice to our marriage life. Hey, why not : )
I don't find anything wrong with it. It shows initiative, effort and the will to go the extra mile. Judging by the two members responses above me they're enthusiasm shows pro-sensual dancing.
Now my question to you is that if you did all this for him. And he didn't do anything but the common male duties known to the general desi male. Would you be as motivated?
If u're going to be takin on the whole belly dancing outfit, then u would be revealing ur "awra" to the other females, which is haram.
As far as dancing for ur husband goes, nothing wrong with that. :)
couldnt u get a video or something ? and really if exercise is ur main concern, then concentrated exercise like running, cycling etc are going to be much more beneficial to you.
CocoNut, I'm doing it for myself. I'm planning to take the lessons now (while I am not married), not in the future. If he decides not to do anything, thats fine, as its not for him, but for myself or US. smile
eemo, indeed I am shy, and this will help me to overcome some of my social anxiety (with women) and issues with my body, hopefully. No I dont have to wear that outfit they do in shows. Yes there are other exercises, but then when I am married I think my husband would appreciate that I learned the dancing, as opposed to learned how to do jumping jacks. Its a wonderful exercise for the "problem" areas that many women face.
I don’t find anything wrong with it either. I’d let my future wife take any type of dance lessons that she wanted. Who knows, maybe I’d join in on those lessons :rotato:
I know how to dance Arabian style and also belly dance, I did'nt take any classes though, I've always had friends/family who knew how to so I learned from them. Its fun as hell and when you have some great music to go with it, its just great
I also got a belly dancer outfit from Egypt :), I just thought I'd buy one incase I'd ever ger married :) haha
oh, i loooove to dance...with fast music, just so much fun to move all crazy, and its a good workout to. ANyways, go for it! itll be so much fun. My friends are all taking a belly dancing class, i was supposed to be in it, but i didn't sign up on time...i wish i could move like some of those arab women!
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*Originally posted by aMiGo: *
Keeping Islamic rules and regulations in mind..
no...
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What does the "Islamic" law have to say about this?
That a woman can't dance for her husband or learn from another under discretion?
Are you sure its Islamic or just your preference?
no, I wouldn’t take belly dancing class to please my future husband..he wouldn’t be pleased with it anyway…I’m not against music or dancing but I think belly dancing even in front of husband is ‘besharmi’.. (just my personal opinion)
Hmm…I’m curious to know why would you call it besharmi? If this dance is besharmi, I’m afraid to ask what you think about when the wife pleases her husband in other ways.
Hmm....I'm curious to know why would you call it besharmi? If this dance is besharmi, I'm afraid to ask what you think about when the wife pleases her husband in other ways.
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well I called it besharmi coz if I'm learning a type of dance to please the dude and if I'm doing it in front of him all by myself....it will seem like I'm not his wife but ???? ....it would be different if me and my hubby both are enjoying good music and dancing "together"....know what I mean? it's not only that she's pleasing him all by herself...and I don't think one needs to take a special class to learn how to please his/her partner, there are tons of other ways to do that!
CA does rasie a point Coco. There is potential for the wife to basically objectify herself for her husband; something that some girls may not find appealing.
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*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
CA does rasie a point Coco. There is potential for the wife to basically objectify herself for her husband; something that some girls may not find appealing.
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See, how she came off anyone else would've just said that she's backward, thats why I even probed further to clarify what she was trying to say and yes, I do agree with her to a certain extent. Its one thing for a wife to pleasure her husband but at the same time it isn't wrong to appeal to her husband in different forms whether it be belly dancing or doing something he likes. CA sees it as besharmi, I don't because a wife is doing it for the husband and no one else; thats what differentiates the wife from a stripper or a whore. The audience is the significant other and no one else. The act is between the husband and wife. CA's choice is to dance together. But what if he's tired and just wants to sit back, relax and enjoy the show? I don't think it makes a difference at all. So as long as both husband and wife understand that it is something they do as a couple and not for the sake of putting on a show. The dancing itself is a form of foreplay, not something ghastly as CA has made it out to be, again it is her choice that she chooses to see it as besharam when infact its not.
Speaking of choice/preference then I guess its besharam to ask your husband to suck that gut in or shave his chest off for her or do something to please her? Isn't that objectifying since we're on this road? I don't think so cuz he inturn both partners get what they want.
You said that you'll be dancing infront of your Future Husband: Well there's nothin called future husband in Islam. A husband is only the one you are married to, not the one you intend to marry in the future. I mean, he is still na-mehram even if you say you are engaged to him. It would be only allowed in case aap ka nikah un kay sath ho gaya ho. Otherwise, he still remains na-mehram and you should not be dancing it infront of him.
As far as the question of pleasing is concerned, then I bet my horses on it that there must be 101 other ways to please a husband. In my case - I have to say that I won't push her so much. Her presence would be just more than pleasing. She doesn't have to Dance for God's sake !
Another thing, you said that you asked your 'muslim Arabic teacher' and 'HE' said ... bla bla bla. There you go, another na-mehram! I think the reason your teacher is saying that is maybe because 'He wants business' :D. That's why he's talking to you in reference to some lame idea of 'Pleasing your husband'. Just because he's an Arab and a muslim does not mean that what he is saying must be right.
I agree with Currupt Angel, I would also pass it as 'bay-sharmee'. And I want to point out somethin that I felt while reading this thread. I felt that you (munni) were merely using an excuse (pleasing your husband) to go for belly dancing. I think 'YOU WANT TO' go for it and just need a reason to make it easy for you. And about dancing infront of other girls, I don't think that's valid as well. Cause from what I heard, its not preferred to reveal infront of other girls who don't do hijab. The explanation given for this was very sound - because the other girls would probably talk about it amongst themselves and end up raising some sort of a Criticism on the girl's figure. And unknowingly they are criticising the creation of Allah(S.W.T) Another reason given was that the girls might end up talking infront of their family and friends which will most probably have ma-mehram males. So, there goes ... You are talking about a girl, about the way she performed (which may be good or bad), about her great figure etc in front of na-mehram males. This is not preferred (by ISLAM) and is condemned.
And I can't believe this you know - How can all you guys say that she can go for it. If that girl really goes for dancing then all those who gave her this 'wonderful' suggestion, they'll be in DEEP trouble. Your are also going to be accountable for her actions just BECAUSE you suggested her to do so and never stopped her.
From a Hadith that I remember, the prophet(P.B.U.H) said that if you see some 'wrong doing', stop it with your hands. If you can't stop it with your hands, stop it with your tongue (say that what you are doing is wrong) and if can't even do that, then within your heart, say that its wrong. This is the weakest of Eman.
Hence, lady don't go for it. Don't forget that you and me are the followers of the Prophet(P.B.U.H) and we are his nation. How pleased would he be to see you in such a state.
May Allah(S.W.T) guide us in our daily lives ... Ameen !
not necessarily bellydancing
(just my personal opinion)