Dancing at your own mehndi?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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I was just wondering how many of you would do it? Not necessarily a choreographed dance, just dancing when every one else is?

I wouldn’t UNLESS it was a girls only Mehndi, and the majority of the woman/aunties were moderate, i can handle a few hatin’ aunties but not many at once, or if it was only people I knew and was comfortable with … hahaha …

I just don’t want the drama of having haters there, and if I did have a huge mehndi I wouldn’t dance, coz then you have to hear about it later on, and haters are experts in making a mountain out of a molehill … at one of my friends mehndis a lady went up to her and told her to sit her ass down, and good girls don’t dance blah blah I was i shock, and it was a family friend not even a relative, and at another mehndi we danced with the bride, but we where only like 6 girls dancing out of almost 200 people that sucked! I stopped after the first song, coz you know the girlfriends are gonna get blamed if the “talks” go on “og she was forced to do such an evil act by her friends” lol.. so sad! the poor girls was heart broken, she wanted everyone to dance .. not even the guys brothers danced …

Also reading threads on this forum, watching all my friends get married, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d want my wedding to be a happy and intimate affair rather then trying to please the world and “showing off”, because in the end it’s about you, you only see the haters at other weddings and at the Masjid around Eid, and your desi wedding have the mehndi, barat and walima so why not enjoy your self with people who love you, care about you, are happy for you, and wont be hatin’ …

so I’m thinking that one could get a away with just having a smaller mehndi, with just your friends, their mothers & sisters (I’m quite close to my friends families, so I would invite the aunties and girls) and my mothers friends and their daughters and maybe even the wifes & daugters of my fathers close friends … This way your with people you feel comfortable around, and they wont make a huge deal out of nothing, and only the people you want to spend money on will be there … so you could do it at home or a small hall to cut cost on a lavish hall because the people you invite will come for you and only you … not for a hall or whatever … and these people know you, so dancing and having a good time wont be a huge deal, just a part of the festivities … and also you could tell everyone to leave their camera at home, and get 1 or 2 good friends with pro. cameras to take pictures, this way your pictures wont end up everywhere and anywhere …

oh and what kind of clothes would you go for? something bridaly, chic, dance-friendly and something that you can move around in, mingle talk etc etc sharara? garara? pishwas? also dupatta on ya off? or how should it be pinned?

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

I would... ive olways dreamt of doing it n i wud whether it was all girls ir mixed doesnt matter...its ur day u shud enjoy it no matter wat

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

I know, but I just can't shake the feeling off me ... I never cared what people said, I still don't ... BUT when it comes to the wedding I feel like I don't want to give them something to talk about ... and I really don't want them there ...

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

I can’t disagree…and in no way am I trying to justify the “log kya kahein ge” mentality but at the same time, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the "youtube/facebook crowd…the thought of having a video or picture that ends up on youtube/facebook with losers making disgusting comments…that’s enough to scare me into NOT dancing or anything..so unless it’s a very very small crowd that you can trust 100% to not post any vids/pics anywhere…better to just not have it.

PS I did dance at my valima… nothing crazy, just a quick little dance with my husband and nand (who pulled me onto the dance floor), and I ran back up to the stage giggling :cb:

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

my family and social circle is fairly conservative so I doubt I would and if I did it would be a short dance. I'm kinda shy about dancing in front of my family anyways (weird, I know). And like Sarah516 said, I don't wnat my video to end up on youtube so probably not for that reason as well unless I knew no one was recording.

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

i danced when the floor was open but my whole family was, too, so it wasn't a big deal. my sil danced in a big choreographed number at her mehendi too and it was great! no one said anything weird about it either. its just not that controversial in our family, i guess.

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

my mehndi was a ladies only event at home. I got up few times but an aunty made me sit down, she said "chalo abb baith jao chup ker keah, buhat hansi jarahi ho" lol

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

wtf.... I woulda asked her "Aap nangha nahaathi hain?"

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

as long as it's all halal fun! at the end of the day you are a muslim...doesn't matter "conservative, modern, extreme" ..just a muslim! do something that you won't look back on and regret one day :)

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

It depends on how strict your family are about segregation. I wouldn't dance in front of guys but plenty of my family and my friends have and they don't mind if there's guys there.
My best friend had a bellydancer for her own mehndi and she got up and bellydanced with her!

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

The thing is in my family, there are hardly any girls that are gona do a choreographed dance since they don't know how and most of them are busy with work...is it bad to dance at my own mehndi (girls only) choreographed? I'm quite a big girl, will people laugh? I mean I know ill enjoy it, but at the same time I don't want people to be in shock horror and talk badly in the community for weeks till the next scandal...so confused :(

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

yea maybe ladies only.....in my house.... :D id be too shy to dance on the dancefloor in a hall..... blush

and i agree with someone up there, as long as its halal fun, sure even the arabs have belly dancers etc.... :D

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

I danced and I would dance.

Its my party and I'll dance if I want toooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

I would hope that when I get married i'd get one of those families that would insist to let my husband dance with me...then again how many guys really enjoy dancing much less are willing to ask the bride's dad if it's okay for her to join him? my best friend's husband did that and so her dad's hands were somewhat tied but now and then he reminded her it looks bad and scolded her to say she's tired and wants to sit. instead lol she enjoyed herself and maybe 15 mins later everyone else did and it wasn't an issue anymore. then again her mendhi was very private and small...not a big thing with lots of non family members in attendance so i think that too played a big role in the decision.

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

my family is fairly conservative, they would have a heart attack if the dulhan danced at her own mehndi!

However if they didnt mind i would if its girls only but then again im tooo shy! haha

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

i certainly wasn't planning on dancing at my mehndi, but was disappointed that i wouldn't get to join in the fun (brides don't usually dance at their own mehndis in our family). however, when the groom's dadi (who was visiting from pakistan) pulled me onto the dance floor, i seized the opportunity to dance my heart out and i'm so glad i did.

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

My family is on the conservative side and I chose to have a very intimate women's only mehndi/mayoun/dholki type function at my house.... only well wishers were present... no haters in the crowd. My sisters and her friends did a bunch of choreographed dances and then they had me join in for the free style bit. We all had fun and no one cared. My naani who came from pakistan for the shaadi was more than happy that the "shaadi ka mahol" was in our house and was playing the dholki along with the music while we danced! haha. great memorable moments. Pictures were taken but the only person that took a video was my younger brother ..the only male in the crowd who no one cared about since he is much younger and basically everyones "little brother". He took that video only for our families viewing pleasure ...so we had some documentation later on of our event :) As far as I know.. no one other than the family has seen it. I have not even seen it yet!!

p.s. for clothes - even though it was a home event, I still wore a yellow with silver kaam gharara, had my hair in a traditional paranda, wore no jewelry and minimal makeup. Wore the dupatta on my head... made sure I looked as traditional as I could and stuck out in the crowd :) It worked!

At my Walima- it was a less conservative crowd and I did marry into a family that loves dancing ... my husband included. We did a first dance and then there was a lot of freestyle. I was about to have a heart attack when we were about to do the first dance..a melody of 3 songs...old school american song...old school hindi song...and then lady gaga. lol. To perform in front of 400 people was kinda intimidating...but bc hubby luved it so much and he was so into it..i got over it. My family is conservative but they are not haters. So again... there were no haters in the crowd. Later on my siblings and cousins also joined in at the free style part of the dancing which they probably never would have at any other family function. But due to the crowd..atmosphere..and who was there... no one minded. Again it was only my family who was conservative and being my family they would not be haters no matter what :)

So do what you think is right and trust me - you will have a blast. :)

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Re: Dancing at your own mehndi?

i had a ladies only mehndi and at the end of the night i was dancing with my girls. it was fun! It's your wedding, and you should have a chance to enjoy and celebrate it yourself!