- Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just
leave me the hell alone. - The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a leaky tire. - It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal
your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. - Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting
any. - Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be
promoted. - No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as
a warning to others. - It is far more impressive when others discover your good
qualities without your help. - If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a
couple of car payments. - Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and
you have their shoes. - If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day. - If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it
was probably worth it. - Don’t squat with your spurs on.
- If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- If you drink, don’t park; accidents cause people.
- Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
- Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment. - The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket. - Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain
dance. - A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark
side, and it holds the universe together. - There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works. - Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth
is moving. - Experience is something you don’t get until just after you
need it - Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
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Its our Wits that make us MEN … ‘Braveheart’