Dads are not stupid

[cpa2011]

Re: Dads are not stupid

@TLK

If there is anything I learnt from informative shows like Simpsons, American Dad, Everybody loves Raymond, Family Guy, and such , it’s that TV is right and aahmed is wrong.

There were/are shows with good dads as well.

King of the hill
Modern family
full house
whos the boss
Charles in charge

[Sara516]

Re: Dads are not stupid

I love Modern Family. But Charles in Charge was a “nanny” not a dad.

[ehl-e-chamman]

Re: Dads are not stupid

@Sara516

Soooo…not to be facetious but is a woman who’s totally at ease leaving her kid with her parents or siblings or husband, a bad mother or not as loving/attached to her kid?

I really hesitate calling anyone a “bad” mother or father outside of the obvious cases.
I was more talking about the degree of involvement … be it mom or dad.
traditionally in pakistani culture, dads have been less involved in the day to day minutia of raising the kid … but they’ve been sole providers and been there for the kids for the “big issues”. Those are not bad dads but in my opinion those are not involved dads.
These days … you got both moms and dads out there earning a living … leaving the kid under care of someone else … but leaving child with others doesn’t mean you are a bad parent in my opinion … because one can be just as involved and “in the know” of a child’s day with a little effort.
I am surrounded by men and women at work who work very long hours … but there is a distinct difference in how men and women approach parenting.
I see women throughout the day … checking in with nany or family to keep track of their kids day … did he/she eat? how much? enough water? poop? happy? cranky? and around bedtime … its routine to see moms calling in to say goodnite and asking about homework/brushed teeth, shower etc…
There are very few dads that ive seen do the same.

[Gemini_the_Great]

Re: Dads are not stupid

@Sara516

Soooo…not to be facetious but is a woman who’s totally at ease leaving her kid with her parents or siblings or husband, a bad mother or not as loving/attached to her kid?

I honestly think there is no such thing as a bad mom.. mothers, be it working or staying at home, need break often and if she is lucky enough to have parents/siblings around to leave kids with them, great..same thing if she has a good understanding and her husband is available to watch kids while she goes to even Target alone(sometimes it’s a vacation :D) it’swonderful.. she comes back home happy.. happy mother, happy home!

now what has bothered me in the past is when mothers leave their children with grandparents while pursuing career in another city.. yes I know a practicing physician, who left her 2 month old with her mother and was working 2 hours away in the city while coming home only on weekends.. well that wasnt it, her sister left her 1 year old son with grandmother while she moved to TX (from MA) to work and be with her husband.. it was mind blowing.. I felt bad for those old grand parents.. it was their time to enjoy grandkids, not raise them!

I also know a girl who lives with her parents and her three kids are very attached to their khala, mamon, nana, nani.. their mother hardly knows about their likes/dislikes/food preference etc.. she is always out doing one thing or another while kids stay home, all the time.. they have no friends other than siblings.. I feel horrible for them. Their dad is a physician and lives out of state.. he sees them like once a month for 2 days.

above examples are desi!! so yes that’s too much in my opinion.. not necessarily bad mothers but they just need to grow up and own up to their children.. they brought them in world, they have to raise them.

[StrangeOne]

Re: Dads are not stupid

@Sara516

Soooo…not to be facetious but is a woman who’s totally at ease leaving her kid with her parents or siblings or husband, a bad mother or not as loving/attached to her kid?

Helicopter parents are the worst so I’m going to say the opposite. I know some disfunctional adults whose parents couldn’t let go.

And it’s kind of messed up that one parent can’t trust the other one. All mothers start somewhere where they know absolutely nothing about babies. If they learnt then why can’t the dad’s.

But yes you can’t do anything if the dad flat out refuses to help. A cousin’s husband doesn’t even keep their one year old for an hour even if he’s completely free.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Dads are not stupid

@Gemini_the_Great

From what I have seen it’s usually moms who have a hard time letting go of control or letting dads do more.. My husband had to stay at home with our son for six months and let’s say I still showed up at the docs appt from work.. It wasn’t needed, he was very capable and knew everything about his son but it was hard for me to let go being the mom.

Yes moms need a break and most of us here get that often due to supportive husbands alhamdulillah but majority here won’t be thrilled if dad just took care of everything.. It’s the mothers nature to double/ triple check.. I was afraid how my son will adjust while I wa away with the second baby but it made no difference to him.. His needs were being met by his dad just like with me.. It was me asking over n over again did he eat.. How much did he play.. Etc etc

Alhamdulillah for wonderful husbands and amazing dads that most of us have.. Not everyone is that lucky

this.

My begum had her doubts too and she still calls home to ask if I have turned off the stove after warming up the food for kids or if the handle of the pan on the stove is towards “inside” instad of “out side” duh!