Custody of Child

[USResident]

Re: Custody of Child

@psyah

Peace

http://www.cato.org/testimony/ct-wc67.html

For Sister PyariCgudia

I guess this also sort of answers the thread question … However, the best way to answer the question for sister … AnGeL EyEs

Tell them that neither of the parents are allowed to give up their rights nor are they allowed to take the rights of custody from either parent. So the question is wrong. Clarify by saying that Islam requires involvement of both mother and father but emphasises their roles and responsibility to varying degrees over the growth of the child.

Financial = Father always has to provide this, 100% upkeep
For disciplinary years for boys = father needs to be there
For disciplinary years for girls = mother needs to be there
Mother must always have access to children even if father does not wish it, but not if the mother is dangerous.

Custody in Islam is seen as a responsiblity in the legal sense, it is not a method of removing the children from either parent. The questioners need to understand this. Divorce in Islam is also intended to be a parting in ‘good terms’ which is a concept alien to most Westerners. They view the court as a battle ground for custody, but in Islam the sense of Divorce is a merely a parting of ways and the legal end to wife-husband responsibilities but maintaining the parental ones as much as possible.

Its not very often Br. Psyah that I disagree with you but however here I must in response to your post.

I may not recall (or have not done my research properly) however the Quran does not lay down any absolute laws regarding custody. If there are verses which I do not recall at the moment please point me to them. Most societies formulated their custody laws based on the societal structure and it must be the same for us.

I can agree that 1400 years ago the financial responsibility of maintaining a household belonged to the man and rightly so as well. Even though today it still follows suit but women being earning members of their household is no longer a rarity or may even become a necessity. Therefore IMO we cannot attribute this as an absolute responsibility to the man though it is the prefered responsibility.

The disciplinary role is not segregated in a household i.e. Males for males and females for females. Though that is probably the best approach. The children should not be separated on such grounds from either parent for extended periods of time especially for reasons that prevent the parents from getting along. A vital responsibility the parents have whether divorced or not is to not victimize the children for their inability to compromise with each other.

When a couple divorces due to the mans inability to support the household (drunkards, a very common case today), the financial responsibility falls to the mother as well as the custody. We cannot make hard anf fast rules when it comes to custody, there are many angles to consider which affect all parties to the divorce i.e. spouses and offspring.

The ideal divorce does not exist today as described in your last para, maybe but exceptionally. Though this is the spirit in which we are supposed to part ways.