when to curtail its effects and how?
Expectations-based Attitude: Why is wrong with it?
Expectations refer to occurrence of anticipated of rewards or favors by
others, for one’s own self. People think that they can take for granted
and get things done on demand unquestioned and un-delayed from others.
An attitude of expecting things from others creates an illusion and
makes one believe that one are more important than anyone else and we
become less sensitive to the real limitations of other people.
We are blinded by our own want of obtaining something. We need to strike
a balance here. What we can do is that we can make sure we do not
over-expect anything from anybody and be consistent in doing so.
In fact, we should make ourselves able enough to be of help to others.
If that attitude is maintained in the collective psyche of the social
establishment one is a part of, no one will engage in vices of flattery,
bribery, obligatory treatment and so and so forth.
That we are reasonable in our expectations of each other, we need to
measure the priorities that we set for ourselves and see what have we
done for the other person already, that s/he be considerate in honoring
our request for help and helping attitude.
Research on human motivation indicates that people who have self-relying
attitude in life, they are much more persistent and they neither blame
external factors - no matter how debilitating, nor expect things done
for them. They aim at overcoming a problem, or a number of obstacles by
trying harder, by using their negotiating skills, and their knowledge to
solve the problem, be it personal relations, work-related, or social in
context.
People can also try to empathic and realize that they themselves can
also be in a tough situation, where an exceptional case might require
extra help and it must be provided, without over-straining anyone. This
social conscience can ally many anxieties such as feeling of
helplessness, frustrations, feeling of dejection and anger on the system
one is a part of.
Since, we live in a society, in which we interact with people - each one
of us, gets one’s work done with the help of other people, therefore it
cannot be possible that we isolate ourselves and not be able to tell our
side of the story to gain deserving help.
Again, this has to be done with an idea that our expectations are within
limits and that we must not be asking to fulfill undue expected demands,
stepping over the line of reason.
However, the simple rule that one ought to rely on oneself makes all the
more sense. Instead we should have high hopes and the resilience to
achieve things on our own, or with the help that is offered but not
relied on excessively. When adults will set an example of self reliance,
children will adapt it automatically. And that will lay the ground for
the next generations to be responsible for their own needs and wants.
Clearly, people should not keep expectations of others, of any kind, as
it can damage the health of the other person/s or ruin one’s own ability
to get up and get things done on one’s own. That will help gain
acceptance and most importantly, a personal sense of achievement that
one may feel as an able, self-reliant & dignified individual.