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*Originally posted by CocoNut: *
, you just don't know it cuz hardly anyone looks back to see what has become of the family after the procession has taken place.
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Please don't make assumptions!! There have been deaths in my family and we had people come over to provide emotional support. A lot of people come to funerals and yes, some do create mess BUT many cooperate and help do things such as cleaning the house and cooking. There is a lot desis do to help in times like this believe me! You probably haven't lived with desis enough to make judgments you made in your last post. It seems like you have NO understanding of this concept. People really don't attend funerals for food. Never. They come because they know it isn't good for someone to be left alone in times of sorrow like death. They need emotional support from "others" and not just close relatives who themselves are in greive- how can they help when they need help themselves!? Anyways, NOT everything that is attached to the word "desi" neccesarily bad!
If its any consolation I'm sorry BUT I can't believe you. I haven't seen it to believe it. Its always the worst I've heard and seen when a funeral procession takes place, naturally.
You are asking me NOT to make assumptions yet you've made three yourself here:
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1) You probably haven't lived with desis enough to make judgments you made in your last post.
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Based on what have you derived this conclusion. Did you bother asking me?
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2)It seems like you have NO understanding of this concept.
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Same question as above.
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3)Never.
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I beg to differ. Never has yet to happen.
Refrain from them and we can come to an understanding what you are preaching. I am in disbelief that MANY come to help and some make a mess. I believe what I have seen and it is the opposite of what you've said.
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Anyways, NOT everything that is attached to the word "desi" neccesarily bad!
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You're going off in tangents here. I never pointed out being desi was bad in my post. Again, you've made an assumption of the sort then you're asking me to decline from my observations? Interesting.
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*Originally posted by CocoNut: *
I've witnessed funerals in pakistan how people congregate to help one another. Thats great. I've also seen the negative aspects which I don't like.
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Currupt Angel, I think Coconut has made it pretty clear in this statement that he does not believe that all Desis behave in the same manner. I also made it clear in my statement above that the majority of people do have enough sense to realise that the period of coming over for 'afsos' is not a time to be social and want to eat. However, there are a one or two families out there who I have been unfortunate enough to come across who do use this period as an excuse to socialise and cause more unnecessary havoc.
You wanna hear something interesting? There was this one Pakistani family that we met at the local masjid a few years ago. My mother and the woman did not really hit it off. However, the woman was persistent in calling our house and trying to get us to come over. One day, she phoned and was crying on the phone saying her brother-in-law was murdered in Pakistan. She asked if my parents would come over. My parents dropped their plans and attended her house.
When my parents got there, they offered the husband their condolences. He had no idea what they were talking about ... told them he was an only child. It was a pathetic excuse to get my parents to go over. In fact, the woman had arranged a small get-together.
Anyway, my point is that although very rare, there are some nutter families out there (not just Pakistani) who will use any excuse (including death) to socialise.
**Why the hell doesn’t anyone come to read a few chapters of the Quran for the deceased. **To the funerals i’ve been (keep in mind that I don’t even know the people at times) no one picks up to recite and bless the deceased rather everyone is ready to eat. Why don’t they help? Instead they come over to be fed, knowing the family just spent so much money on burrying the deceased and now this? Sheesh, have some compassion.
^ See the bold part. That is why I asked you “do you really believe desis go to funerals for food and gossip?”…Okay, even if some people do come for food on funerals(hard to believe though!) do you really think that is generally ‘the main reason’ most desis attend funeral?
I said that you have no understanding of this concept because you really don’t! You don’t know that it’s part of our culture to attend funerals of a friend, family or even someone who is not very close to you! You don’t understand that “serving the guests” is a part of our culture, people do expect to be served but that’s not the main reason they come to funerals or do they?
Yeah, I used that word loosely because, generally, that is not the main reason people come to funerals. You have to think of someone “very low” to think of 'em like that. Maybe your experience with desis wasn’t as good but that doesn’t mean you’ll degrade them and this concept the way you did in your first post. And well, if you wanna disagree with what I said then what can I say, it’s your wish but you can ask anyone, this is a fact that most desis are very cooperative with their own people and help them especially in times like these.
I didn’t make an assumption. You didn’t say it directly but it is what I’ve observed from your posts. You tend to criticize desis all the time.
*I didn't make an assumption. You didn't say it directly but it is what I've observed from your posts. You tend to criticize desis all the time. *
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sadly this is a fav-pass-time-hobby of most of desis who live in west. apparently living in a civilized society they think they have every God given right to criticise every other desis except themselves and their families, who, surprisingly are just as nice, innocent, loving and caring as they themselves are. remember, i'm always right, its you who is always wrong. :)
Currupt Angel, I think Coconut has made it pretty clear in this statement that he does not believe that all Desis behave in the same manner. I also made it clear in my statement above that the majority of people do have enough sense to realise that the period of coming over for 'afsos' is not a time to be social and want to eat. However, there are a one or two families out there who I have been unfortunate enough to come across who do use this period as an excuse to socialise and cause more unnecessary havoc.
You wanna hear something interesting? There was this one Pakistani family that we met at the local masjid a few years ago. My mother and the woman did not really hit it off. However, the woman was persistent in calling our house and trying to get us to come over. One day, she phoned and was crying on the phone saying her brother-in-law was murdered in Pakistan. She asked if my parents would come over. My parents dropped their plans and attended her house.
When my parents got there, they offered the husband their condolences. He had no idea what they were talking about ... told them he was an only child. It was a pathetic excuse to get my parents to go over. In fact, the woman had arranged a small get-together.
Anyway, my point is that although very rare, there are some nutter families out there (not just Pakistani) who will use any excuse (including death) to socialise.
We are so off topic.
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Hey are you his lawyer ? :D j/k. Well would you mind reading his first post? His tone was harsh and I was definitely offended by it b'coz he totally made it sound like we desis live in "dirt"...!
About the story you told, well how many people do you think will make an excuse like that ? BTW, I've seen many American people in my university make similar excuses to cut classes...ab bolo! :-P
actually, there are two groups of people found on GS. One group criticizes everything that is related to “west” and another group criticizes everything that is attached to the word “desi”…Both groups are extremely annoying and stereotypical!!
Khair, in the second last paragraph of my last post, I did clearly state that not just Pakistani people behave in such a manner and that those who do are in the minority, IMHO. I'm referring to those selfish souls who do behave completely inappropriately.
ahaan, I see what you're saying Mehnaz and I'm not denying that fact either...there are people (regardless of their ethnic background) out there who don't know how to behave at all...We can find them in every society.
