1- Choose or add any characters you like but rest of us need to make sure we carry those characters to their full potential . So the story doesnt break essence .
2- No more then a few lines please so its easier to read for the users
Good luck every one . I will begin:
He didnt know what he was feeling at that point. All he knew was that cars were passing by and he was walking on a road , not knowing where he was heading to or what he was to do now . The darkness inside him was overwhelming him …
He knew he was awake but couldnt open his eyes . He could feel someone holding his hand .
"Mr Jamal , can you hear me? " He heard a voice calling his name.
He tried harder and opened his eyes, not knowing where he was or what was happening. Intense pain shot through his head. But his eyes froze on that one person standing infront of him . Shocked , hurt and unable to look away ..
Her daughter was putting her hand on her neck to check heart-beat, then it suddenly stopped.. She called her dad, who double-checked it and went sadly to his son’s room, where he was sleeping, He came closer and said…
…, “I hate hospitals, I hate medicines, I hate surgeries & doctors. Please stop bringing hospital scenes in my story. Let’s start over from walking on the road scene”.
He didnt know what he was feeling at that point. All he knew was that cars were passing by and he was walking on a road , not knowing where he was heading to or what he was to do now . The darkness inside him was overwhelming him … (CB)
Suddenly there was a very loud noise which made him turn around. He was blinded by a light and then all went dark.(LP)
He knew he was awake but couldnt open his eyes . He could feel someone holding his hand .
"Mr Jamal , can you hear me? " He heard a voice calling his name.
He tried harder and opened his eyes, not knowing where he was or what was happening. Intense pain shot through his head. But his eyes froze on that one person standing infront of him . Shocked , hurt and unable to look away .. (CB)
“I hate hospitals, I hate medicines, I hate surgeries & doctors. Please stop bringing hospital scenes in my story. Let’s start over from walking on the road scene” (Mystiq)
Read the above combination . Matatay , you and Mystique na jaane kaun si story bol rai ho. Continue karo Jamal ko . tai naal tussi sanuu ai Maa wala character wi samjha do , ai kithon story wich warr giya ai .
CH.B, I was trying to save MC of your story, keep him alive. Scene # 4 made no sense, TBH. I would have elminited it altogether as a certified short film producer but instead I let the MC speak himself that he did not want to be killed or injured as the only thing which was clear to me in 4th scene was, “…where he was sleeping. He came closer and said”… I desperately hoped that that was MC speaking and he still was not dead. Hence that dialogue from him in scene #5](http://gupshup.org/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=5) .
I have not yet read the updated scenes but incase your MC is already dead then today Im gonna eat biryaaaaani to celebrate… I mean mourn his death
/
l Carrying forward from this point onwards . Please add to the story guys :
" You saved my life ?" said Jamal to the Doctor
"Jamal , the oath we take to serve humanity is much bigger than personal scores. You are just a patient for me , whom I must serve to the best of my ability. When you get recovered , we will have a chat then " Said Dr Saeed
"I cant remember what happened and how I got here ? " Jamal mustered the courage to ask , still avoiding eye contact with Dr Saeed.
. I am not clear ye jis ki heart beat stop hui hai ye wohi character hai na jo road per that?
