Not entirely a good example. If person B is on the bench and is just ‘waiting around’ then that’s a poor use of their time and it will make them more depressed. Person B should be doing other things to better themselves so they are ready for the opportunity. Many people want to be in a relationship/marriage but are not ready for it - mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.
Being in a relationship is not the end all be all. It’s how you sustain it over time and make it an enjoyable experience for yourself and your partner.
That’s why when people say enjoy the single life it’s a way to remind them that relationships don’t make people happy, its the people in those relationships that make a conscious effort to stay happy. They also mean to say that relationships are a lot of work and over many years plus they lead to other responsibilities, ie when you have kids together etc so you won’t be getting back your single days of freedom once you venture down that path.
My psychologist had so rightly told me that happiness only comes from relationships, we need positive relationships in life, they don’t have to be husband/wife it can be friends, siblings, nieces nephews, volunteer groups, clubs organizations etc. many people on this forum lack social intelligence and the ability to make and sustain positive relationships. Although things are easier for males back home as there are very fulfilling bromancing relationships and many females had made threads about males paying more attention to their friends than their newlywed wife.
All the girls want one in a million guy, all the guys want one in a million girl, both genders have unreal expectations, everyone wants to punch above their weight class. My new friend told me her brother is engaged to a dentist from Dubai and that girl is expecting to ride in lambos and not do any work.
In the last few years I have stopped moping and begun to focus more on myself and my connection with Allah. For a long time I wore the hijab and craved the fact that I didn’t dye my hair or pay any attention to myself. Since last year I have taken it off-not a good decision nor bad-but one that I needed to take for myself. Since then I have focused on what makes me happy, confident but still humble. However, when I see small children, I do get sad but I still pray to Allah to bless me and others with blessings in terms of marriage and children.
Reading your critique, I’d have to agree my example wasn’t that great.
Let’s put it another way. People are different and there’s a time for everything. Some people are fine being with themselves all their lives. Some people start wanting a partner when they’re still in their teens. Then there are those in the middle who start wanting to be with someone in their late 20s, early thirties (or whatever age).
Being happy with yourself is great advice and all. However, if it was possible for everyone to be happy just on their own no one would seek partners. Finding a partner then being in a relationship is a lot of work and you wouldn’t do that work if the relationship did not benefit you in some way. Enjoying the single life sounds grand and all but there comes a time in ones life where its not that much fun anymore.
Is your criteria that he has to be 6’9 with 24 degrees in the medical field, was jailed for a bit but now is a proper mullah but not quiet because he also has an epic comic book collection. Can surf a 50ft wave whilst singing Kumar Sanu’s 90s songs.
ALSO he can cook biryani while watching Martha Stewart?
^^ Why leave out 5’10 - 6’2 men having that kind of, infact, worse mentality & expectations? A Victoria secret model or better yet a pornstar look a like to make videos that could earn them money by selling to such business owners but keep them tied up in chains inside home & only freed to make biryani & feed their huge tummies. Or when sending them to work outside home to earn more money… a walking ATM. Such are the ‘men’ too proud of their manhoods but consider those same women to be inferior & label them with filthy abusive titles such as “prostitutes, awaara” & alot more & falsely accuse them of inciting all the other men with their lewd behavior (that’s what the 'voices inside their filthy heads tell them). Yet covertly working to trap them to marry them even if by using their very large network of flying monkeys around the world.
Edit: That filthy mentality among fat old khoosat ugly grumpy men arises from a combination of severe inferiority complex & a filthy sinful life & dirty deeds of their own - an open invitation to demons & evil entities to take control of their brains & dont allow them to see outside the garbage box their brains become after the… um… occupation. So they assume that every other woman (or man) they meet practices the same sinful life style as them ehich is far from truth because still there are ‘clean’ people in this world in both genders far from their reach
I like being married but only because I like him. If it wasn’t him, I would hate being married. Its not all fun and games, its hard and demands work. If you marry for the sake of “coming home to someone” then don’t do it. You have to meet someone and want to be with them specifically, not just marry.
Also, if you’re finding yourself depressed and envying your married friends…then its time to switch your company around. So what if they’re married? Find people you have more in common with. GET OUT THERE, volunteer, pick up a sport, book a trip once a year, join networking groups, etc. Do things married women don’t do
29 and in a somewhat similar scenario to you, although I have my personal reasons as to why I won’t be marrying. Still, I get lonely and miserable. I’ve started to hate my family. I hate living with them. I crave my own personal space. I want privacy, even tho it isn’t for anything dodgy per se. I want to have a social life etc. Everyone says your husband will be the luckiest guy etc and it just makes me depressed. I have everything a good bahu needs, cooking skills, personality, height, figure, fair complexion etc, still, I am stuck in a miserable life situation. Doing things for people always, never being appreciated, and never being understood. I wish I had someone to help me out, give me a hug, support me etc.
@Reha you totally missed the point .its not about coming home to somone specific but in generally one craves to be with SOMEONE.I think only who is in this state can relate.
