The childhood spent together was amazing, but time seem to weaken the strong bond which we used to share with them. Some of my best cousins were shifted to far away places and different commitments in life rarely gave us a chance to get together.
Few of my female cousins used to have a very good understanding with me in early teenage, which ofcourse could never become the same after one reaches a certain age or gets married.
There were very few who tried to convince others to call them problem creators in every matter, but still that wouldn’t change the blood relation.
One of my cousin seems to be closer to me more than my siblings even though he is too young, but his way of thinking is impressive. Similarly my wife thinks of one of her cousin to be closer to her more than anyone else (except me :-]), that is why she used to get her messages and calls even at midnight. :-\
How do you feel about your cousins ? Are there any special ones with whom you feel most comfortable with in sharing your feeling, thinkings, secrets, problems…etc ?
For those among us who were married with cousins or some of their cousins were earlier considered as their potential spouse for future (by their parents), did you feel odd in the beginning to be suddenly changing your perspective about anyone whom you used to look at/ deal with differently, or was it like a friendship changing into a relationship ?
I had the most precious memories with my cousins in my childhood in Pakistan. But things have changed a lot. I remember being overly excited about visiting them in Pakistan but once I did do that...some of them had changed specially the male cousins. From what I heard they had the same kind of relationship with other cousins but felt stange around the female cousins which I found to be so weird. Hopefully. the next time i see them..it'll be better. But despite all of that...we had some precious memories in the childhood..chilling with your cousins can never be replaced even with best friends.
i have lots of cousins on my dad's side of the family and i was never really close to them growing up because we moved into and then out of pakistan when i was quite young so i didn't develop that companionship with them. but meeting everyone together is always fun and exciting, although i don't think theres been one single time since i was about 7 or 8 that every single cousin of mine has been together, in the same country, at the same event. so thats kind of sad.
we went back to pakistan after about 10 years of being away and it was for a cousins wedding and that was so much fun, even with only 1/3rd of the clan there.
i also think we're a lot closer as adults than we were as kids- we have a lot more in common (husbands, families, homes, etc.)- so its somehow easier to get along.
i'm also much, much tighter with my second cousins here in toronto- probably because i grew up with them.
either way, yes, i agree, cousins can be great company, but no one can replace my best friend- she's a sister to me!
I was never really close to my cousins on either sides of the family with the exception of my 2 cousins (chacha's daughters) who lived in New York. I remember how excited I used to get when they came over to my house or I went over to their house. We started a club in one of the empty rooms in my house which I was the president of...dont ask me what kind of club ...let's just say we had posters of a certain someone all over the room. We would dress up like her, and we used to perform dance routines with her music in front of our families . *blushes
Anyway to make a long story short....we grew apart and went our separate ways :( Now I only see them during family events even though they moved nearby.
I guess I never needed a cousin or a friend to confide in or have fun with...I was and still am quite content with my older sisters. They are my best friends and with them around I really dont need anyone else.
When i was growing up, we didnt have any family around so we would see my cousins once every year or couple of years at someones wedding or eid etc. Now when we have moved to the US (from teh middle east), i have some cousins here but they are too young (the youngest is like a year old). We love them to bits but i wonder if they are going to remember the bajis who did everything from putting them to sleep to changing their diapers when they are older. I do feel my sibs and i ar emuch closer to the ones in Pak and middle east though since we are older and understand the importance of family. We talk more often now instead of only us calling them only, they call us too at times considering how calling the US is so much cheaper from Pak these days.
But i still dont have the kind of relationship where they will call me at midnight for something, although they are more than welcome to.
I don't know why these days the arrival of any cousin's family doesn't sound as much exciting as it used to be in the childhood, may be because those were the innocent times when we were "relatively more" sincere, straight forward and caring for each others. We used to go out to parks and markets, used to stay up all night talking about school and college experiences, making fun of each others, watching our favourite programs together, sharing hobbies, talking about our favourite personalities, going out for fajr namaz together, playing cricket, going out for dinner together, attending weddings...etc .
We used to make groups and play games, the best pair who used to win would get the award and would always become pair in any game. At time we had innocent secrets to share and black mail our partner after we had cuttee with him :)
In the present, (I don't know why I feel this) in some cases it seems more of an artifical and reserved relationship where behaviours are at times unnatural, the interaction is not that frank and open as it used to be, may be quest of better future and focusing on one's own family too much have some what weakened the bonds among relatives.
i dont hav any sis so my cousins were very close to me.....when we grown up life changed and the true faces of these ppl came in front of me then i came to know that innocent frnship has been over and the jealous relationships has been started.
now i m married alhamdullilah, n no need of any other frend but my hubby.
Fazeelat i totally agree! I got on great with my cousins as a kid, but as i’ve got older ive seen their true colours too,and they aint pretty
One of my cousins, whom i was close to and got with on really well, died at 13. And 2 of my other cousins actually live with me and my family, they’re more like brothers now. But as for the rest lol, no comment :(.
Buuuuuuut, i did get married to my cousin, however, i never knew him nor grew up with him, so we got to know each other first. And he’s the best of the lot
In the present, (I don't know why I feel this) in some cases it seems more of an artifical and reserved relationship where behaviours are at times unnatural, the interaction is not that frank and open as it used to be, may be quest of better future and focusing on one's own family too much have some what weakened the bonds among relatives.
i was best frends w/ one of my cousins here, but things turned sour when we hit HS/college... I'm not close toanybody here, i'm closer to a few cousins in pak but unfo i don't talk to them when i'm here (too lazy to call :()...
all i can say is..jealousy is a terrible disease..get well soon HATERS! hehe
Oh my gosh jealousy is like a disease....and competition too....it is really sad that cousins you thought were your friends, your blood, and someone you could trust just turn your back on you. It is hard to accept, but what can you do. Its sad that instead of being jealous of other ppl they have to be jealous of their own blood....I always have this dream that I would meet with all my cousins and have big family re-unions on big holidays....big get togethers.....thats what life should be about....
I adore my cousins (but then again they an be real asses at times, lol) Well I grew up in the same house with my cousins when I was younger, me my sister and my younger cousin( who is like 12) are the only girls in my immediate family and then there are 8 boys, most of them are younger than me, 2 are my own borthers and the others are like brothers anyways.
Are they potential husbands?
Never, never gona happen! My eldest cousin is engaged and desperate to get married and then the one my age- he's a couple of months younger than me and my mum and would never get me married to him, she doesnt like his mother (the woman has some evil side) and he's like my twin brother- we grew up playin togther and then thats it. My cousins in paksitan are cool, one is engaged and the others are too young. Besides my mum said she wouldnt really want me to get married and move too far away, the UK is okay but anywhere esle would devestate her, after all she's my best friend
And there's been no jealousy between me and my cousins cos like I said mosyt of them are guys
