Hey everyone..my cousin has a bit of a problem and she was asking me for advice. Unfortunately, I was unable to offer her any so I thought I would pose the question here and hopefully someone can give me some helpful hints on how to help her out.
Girl cousin 1 has been super close to Guy cousin 2 for years. Since they were young they have shared absolutely everything. Girl cousin 1 is now 20 and Guy cousin 2 is 22. Anyway, Girl cousin 1 has had a crush on Guy cousin 2 since she was 11 and during that time those feelings have developed and I guess you could pretty much say that she’s in love with him now. Rishtas have obviously started coming for Girl cousin 1 - she is beautiful and currently completing uni. So her problem is whether she should tell Guy cousin 2 how she feels. At times it seems as though Guy cousin 2 is interested in her, however, it’s hard to be sure as he has a very outgoing personality - but one thing is for sure and that is that he shares everything with her. Guy cousin 2’s own dad even says that he tells everything to Girl cousin 1. But the problem is that a few years ago when someone jokingly said something about those two liking each other, Guy cousin 2 got really angry about it. Furthermore, Girl cousin 1 is a generally confident person, however, she has no idea how to express her feelings (if that is the right thing for her to do).
Now Girl cousin 1 has 2 options (the way I see it anyway):
A) Tell Guy cousin 2 how she feels and risk him never talking to her again if he takes offence
B) Not say anything and let fate decide what happens.
I hope someone has ideas regarding this because she is so confused and I would like to help her out by giving her the right advice. Thanks in advance
let the girl speak to her mom and let the mom take care of the whole issue. Just not to get into love story kind of situation. where both guy and gal had to do some sort of baghawat.
From what you have said - those two really like eachother. She should not tell him now...as I have a feeling fate will bring those two together. Tell her to be cool and patient. It will take a certain, special moment where they will both feel naturally comfortable in revealing their true feelings to eachother.
This exact story is what happened to my cousins. When people...even I would tease them - they would both get upset and offended but only because they didn't know that they both liked eachother.
Best of luck to them.
Oh and please do tell us when they both finally get together! :)
I agree that it would be best for the parents to handle the whole thing. That way, the cousins won't have any embarrassment since they're out of the loop. Good luck to them!
She should let her mom know how she feels. It'd be eaiser for her to talk to the guy's parents since it's a family thing and these matters are handled better by elders.
Expressing herself to him is not a good choice until they are formally engaged. I have seen that happen and it never ended on a good note. If he does say yes at the moment but they break up later on or things become public through other cousins...then there will be no stopping the family gossip....It's better to be in a formal relationsip that everyone is aware of around you especially in a family setup....
Get the parents involved. Could be possible that he only sees her as a sister and that's why he had that sort of reaction at the suggestion. If she tells her parents, the parents go to his parents, his parents suggest it to him in a way that doesnt' look like she initiated it..she cud guage his reaction. but i dont think she shud tell him directly..
Maybe Bunty shares everything with your cousin because he trust her....and not because he has a romantic interest in her.
Keep in mind that Bunty is 22 years old......and that that is still very YOUNG for a guy. Desi girls think of getting married by 22. BUT there are few Desi guys who are willing to get engaged/married at 22. He is probably thinking about getting a good job, establishing his career, having fun with friends, finding out who he is as a person............BEFORE even thinking of getting married.
Maybe the reason why Bunty got mad when parents suggested marriage with Babli is because Bunty is not ready to get married and doesn't want to be teased about it OR Bunty is not interested in Babli in a romantic sense and doesn't want to be teased about her.
It is hard for a girl to even tell her OWN MOM that she is interested in a guy. And many times when a girl tells a guy that she likes him........the GUY gets SCARED and starts AVOIDING the girl.....and the friendship that they once shared GOES DOWN THE TOILET! That's why they say, let the guy chase the girl and confess his feelings FIRST.
So, here is an idea that I have. Babli is getting rishtas right? And you said that Babli is very close to Bunty? So, in a very CASUAL, EASY GOING, and RELAXED manner, Babli should say this to Bunty:
" To meray liye itnay rishtey aanay lagay hain. It's hard to believe that one of these days I will get married. I hope I find a guy just like you who understands me so well. And you, BUNTY, will have to find SOME OTHER girl to share your secrets with.....if I get married tomorrow.........cuz i won't have time for you!"(Then Babli should stop talking and see how Bunty responds)
I also suggest that Babli start maintaining distance from Bunty. She should start staying away from him and keeping herself busy in other things. In other words........she should give BUNTY a chance to MISS her. When two people are tooooooo close to each other............they need some time AWAY from each other. This DISTANCE can help both parties sort out their feelings.
^ I'm not suggesting that Babli tell Bunty about her feelings. But it's like planting a seed that hey I'm gonna be married and gone so you'll have to find another girl to share secrets with. It's like your planting an idea in his head without telling him how she really feels. Because it could be that if she/parents tell him the DIRECT truth.....then he might get scared and turned off because he's so young.
So maybe by planting a seed, she can gauge his reaction...........and he can start possibly toying with the idea of LOSING her...and contemplating the idea of her in a "life partner" sense.
And if Babli is STILL UNCERTAIN about his feelings after this, then she can go through HER parents and that way make it seem like the RISHTA proposal came from PARENTS instead of her.
^ I'm not suggesting that Babli tell Bunty about her feelings. But it's like planting a seed that hey I'm gonna be married and gone so you'll have to find another girl to share secrets with. It's like your planting an idea in his head without telling him how she really feels. Because it could be that if she/parents tell him the DIRECT truth.....then he might get scared and turned off because he's so young.
So maybe by planting a seed, she can gauge his reaction...........and he can start possibly toying with the idea of LOSING her...and contemplating the idea of her in a "life partner" sense.
And if Babli is STILL UNCERTAIN about his feelings after this, then she can go through HER parents and that way make it seem like the RISHTA proposal came from PARENTS instead of her.
Abhi tuk parents bhung pi kar so rahay hain kia jo larki hi dhoondh lo.
Aray larki Red Flag larki dhoondhnay ka hi mashwara kioon day rahi hoo. Indian drama chal raha hai.
Itnay baray baray ghair maharam ki dost Masha Alah. Must be Liberal and very religious ppl.
i'll say she shouldn't tell him anything directly.Either involve parents or giv a hint like the girls in indian movies do"pata hai aaj mera aik rishta aya,,,"if he takes it fine otherwise move on.
the girl should tell her parents to speak to his parents and ask the boy about it, that way it will give the boy some time and distance without necessarily having to confront her on the topic
