i need your honest opinion guys
is it normal for couples to have fights? married couples?
my parents have always fought a lot. the guy im dating for some years now and hope to get married to soon (Inshallah) says his parents never fight.
do you guys know of couples who never have fights?
Re: couple fights
yeah that guy is probably glossing over the truth... of course couples fight. human beings disagree- there aren't any couples in the world that agree about every single thing... either that or they're keeping it all in, and sometimes, thats worse than having a good ole argument and getting things off your chest.
if, on the other hand, you're constantly fighting and its getting to the point where you're asking where is the love, then it could be a serious problem and should be resolved, but yes, everybody fights.
you just have to make sure its about the smaller stuff like pick up after yourself or can't you do the dishes tonight, and like i said earlier, not things like money or raising kids or other, bigger stuff - then it gets complicated. even those issues can be resolved if both parties are willing but generally, i think most happy couples just nitpick about the little things.
i honestly think my hubs and i fought more during our wedding planning year than we did ever in our 5 year relationship! theres a lot of stress and tension and different things are important to different people, but in the end, AH we resolved things and we both realised why it was happening, which is important. so things are good now. after marriage, we're trying to get used to living together and realising our habits are different and so we usually argue about who's turn it is to make dinner and why the laundry hasn't been done, etc.
Re: couple fights
Some couples fight, some don't..depends on the individuals. Thats not to say that each marriage doesn't have its ups and downs.
Re: couple fights
depends on defintion of fight
disagreements vs fights
the 'fight' happening in front of people or behind closed doors.
etc etc.
Re: couple fights
every day yaar … unless we have a small fight everyday …din theek sai nahi guzarta but then it lasts for only 5-10 min 
jo maza rooth janey k baad mananey main hai
wo maan janey main kahaaan 
Re: couple fights
Everybody is different. Everyone has opinions. I thinking fighting to a certain extent is healthy. No fights may mean no communication which is more scary. Sometimes a fight brings people closer especially if they do care about each other.
But, like X2 said, what is the definition of a fight?
Re: couple fights
If it involves a pillow than it is definatly not a fight.
Re: couple fights
a fight is us shouting at each other
calling each other names
not talking for a day or even two
and in the end making up
nevertheless that period when we dont talk just sucks
Re: couple fights
happens all the time........
Re: couple fights
a fight is us shouting at each other
calling each other names
not talking for a day or even two
and in the end making up
nevertheless that period when we dont talk just sucks
thats pretty childish, and frankly, i shudder to think what kind of married life you would have if you can't even resolve these issues. and you're clearly not resolving things here because it keeps happening.
imagine if you had kids... if you can't figure each other out now, before marriage and kids, then when you do have kids, all they'll know is a really turbulent and unstable lifestyle. theres no magic pill that once you're married, all will be well and your fights will automatically resolve and there will be peace in the land. there won't be. you two are going to have to get your act together before you think about getting married. and based on your other thread, that probably won't happen. :(
Re: couple fights
name calling??? 
I have a very low tolerance for name calling, I do know of some girls who have put up with it but i doubt I could. A fight should be no more than a disagreement that can be talked over as adults without hurting and insulting eachother. After marriage you sometimes HAVE to ignore even such fights but if this stuff starts happening even before the marriage then I would take it as my cue to leave!
Re: couple fights
some parents fight in front of their kids, others don't...some people show their anger others dont.
it's normal and healthy for there to be some argument/disagreement but it levels off and is "healthier" discussion as time passes on. So yes you fight but you should be leanring from previous arguments and getting better and communicating.
In all honestly my husband and i have never not resolved an argument with in 24 hours..usually same day or the next am/pm. It's tooo tense otherwise. No name calling either though there are times when voices to get raised...
Re: couple fights
a fight is us shouting at each other
calling each other names
not talking for a day or even two
and in the end making up
nevertheless that period when we dont talk just sucks
no, this is not really normal from what I have seen.
Re: couple fights
hmmm
i guess to each his own
i shouldn't really compare my relationship with anyone else's
i don't know what's better. to internalise or to express. personally, there are some people with whom i can internalise. with others like my bf i can shout at him and express my anger
i know though that tomorrow when we have kids (if we ever do get married :S ) it wont be a good idea to fight in front of the kids
Femme Fatale, i never took it from anyone else, but i am really *****y to him sometimes too, and so he calls me names. its not like its one sided, but we do need to work on it
i know friends whose husbands admitted to having extra marital affairs but they still remained silent
i cant. i dont know. i am normally good with internalising my emotions but with him i just cant and dont want to keep quiet if i dont like something. i want him to know i didnt like it...
but i know this needs to change. the two of us cant keep fighting like 2 little kids all the time.
groovy, i feel like i am the kind of person who would never be able to have a stable relationship with anyone. im really moody. i can be really *****y if i dont like something. only a guy with super patience and super calmness can manage to have a calm relationship with me. and uptil now i never met any guy like that lol :D
Re: couple fights
by the way the name calling is only on SMS not in real life [thankfully]
Re: couple fights
groovy, i feel like i am the kind of person who would never be able to have a stable relationship with anyone. im really moody. i can be really *****y if i dont like something. only a guy with super patience and super calmness can manage to have a calm relationship with me. and uptil now i never met any guy like that lol :D
as you rgrow older, and you note this as an issue and seriouslytry to control it you will succeed. Just knowing one's personality quirks is not enough, if those quirks are impacting life and relationships, then taking deliberate and planned steps to control is only logical, and it does work.
PS: speaking from personal experience.
Re: couple fights
^ yeah but the thing is, your guy doesn't have patience and calmness in any measure, from what i've heard in this and the other thread. he seems to be entirely indifferent about you and your moods, and sort of apathetic as to where this relationship goes, not to mention reluctant to take it anywhere important.
you need to sort yourself out before you go pursuing this relationship and pushing it into places its not ready to go...
Re: couple fights
why am i deluding myself?
i know my relationship with him sucks
its not a good relationship when you are shouting at each other and calling each other names
if its a one time thing its ok but it becomes a regular feature its just not right
sara, girl, why ask others? you know the answer yourself
you know your relationship with him sucks.
[yeah i like to talk to myself too 
]
cheers all
Re: couple fights
X2
i know what you are saying and you are totally right
in case of relationships though, have you ever noticed how some people bring out the best in you - you dont have to make an effort to be good when you are with them - you feel cared for and want to care for them - there is peace between the two of you - and even if the other person says something that sounds horrible you just automatically assume silence
we all need to find such life partners
not ones who bring out the worst in us and with whom we are always struggling to be good
have u noticed that even some friends/colleagues bring out the best in us - and with some we are just our worst
i guess the same goes for relationships for spouses too...
Re: couple fights
though i think to each his own. if u have a sucky relationship with someone but are still sticking around, there must be something that is holding you back...which means the relationship isnt THAT bad after All