So here goes the wedding planning… My fiance’s mom (Bengali) wants me to wear a sari for atleast half the reception and I’m totally fine with that. My idea is to wear the sari the first half during the Nikkah and then go change into my other clothes.
My problem is that with a lehnga there’s a dupatta that needs to be set. Has anyone done this - Like changed from one outfit to another during a wedding and how was it executed? My main concern is the dupatta setting and the ONLY way I can see this working is if my makeup artist comes with me to the wedding OR teaches someone to do it :S.
My fiance really couldn’t care either way if I wear a sari or not and he said he’ll tell his mom but I understand how important it is for her for me to wear one so I don’t mind the compromise. Also, I told fiance he’s changing as well… I’m not looking like the only idiot who went to change - he’ll either do a sherwani to a suit or a suit to a sherwani.
Any ideas?
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A lot of ladies wear a duppatta with a sari esp if they are brides and don't do a lot of mingling around. You could do that and avoid putting on a duppatta for the second outfit change. Also, if you go this route don't forget to wear a sari where the color doesn't clash with the duppatta of the lehnga outfit.
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Terebina: Do you want to wear a dupatta on your head with the sari?
I have seen brides change outfits during a reception (Indian brides) but they didn't wear a dupatta on the head. Are you open to wearing the lehenga/dupatta FIRST.....and then changing into a sari halfway through reception? It would be faster and less stressful......you won't have to stress about learning to do it yourself OR having to pay the MU artist to stay for the reception.
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I did not have a professional do my dupatta setting b/c I couldn't find anyone to come to the venue to do it. You can get the most talented family member you have and ask them to youtube the heck out of dupatta settings. How heavy is your dupatta with the lehnga? If it's lightweight, I say go for the amateur route. If it's quite heavy though, you must get a professional to do it. Ask some of the ladies at the desi salon if they work independently and are willing to travel to your venue.
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I don't mind wearing the dupatta on my head with the sari... The only problem is that it probably will be heavy and will have to be pinned to my sari blouse and then my lehnga shirt someway. I do NOT want to wear the sari for the latter half. I think Bengali saris are seriously ugly and unflattering. I hate wearing saris in general, I'm just not graceful and I get irritated fast so the quicker I get to take it off the better.
I'm probably going to end up booking Shirley Wu so I'll ask her thoughts about it. Maybe she can show my sister or one of my friends how to do it so it gets done. My other option is inviting my engagement party MUA to the wedding (she's a friend of a friend) and pay her to be there and she can eat and have fun as well LOL.
Ugh and then the other issue becomes coordinating the dupatta with the sari. I'll discuss that with my MIL tho and tell her the sari has to coordiante with the dupatta. I'm just hoping my fiance's aunt can convince her out of the sari. The last time I was at their house his aunt was telling me how much she LOVES Pakistani clothes and can't stand saris (and yes, she's Bengali).
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Bengali sari? Wait…so she wants you to wear a particular type of sari? 
I got the impression that you’d be able to choose whichever sari you wanted?
Coordinating the sari with the dupatta shouldn’t be a problem. Plenty of Bengali brides do it.
I remember the posts you had written before regarding the drama your future MIL had created. Look at it this way…if you wear the sari for a few hours…for the rest of your life MIL can never complain about it b/c you did something on your wedding that that’s culturally important to her. HOWEVER…if you don’t wear one for whatever reason…even if its b/c the aunt convinces the MIL to let it go FOR NOW…there is no guarantee that MIL won’t cause an issues out of it in the future (ie. “oh if my DIL was Bengali then she would’ve worn a sari no matter what I said…even though I backed off, terebina should’ve known how important it was for me blah blah blah blah blah”). Heck she could even change her mind and make “comments” about this on the wedding day itself! You know how desi MILs can be. I know its a pain but I really do think you should go head and wear the sari for a few hours.
PS Saris don’t flatter me either. Even hubby hates it when I wear it. He says it makes me look chubby and short. 
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^^ LOL thats why I said I'll wear it for half. Yeah she keeps going on and on about those Bengali silk sarees and I think they're absolutely hideous. She said if I give her pics of what kind of sari I like she'll try to get that... but I'm sure she won't like anything I pick! haha. I really have NO issue wearing it for the first half/Nikkah part and then re-entering, it's the least I can do seeing as she has no daughters. I'm just trying to figure out logistics of changing. My fiance said if its too difficult then it doesn't matter and he'll talk to her but I REALLY don't want this hanging over our heads for the rest of our lives.
My Tamil friend wore this gorgeous chiffon sari at her wedding.. it was hot pink and had a thick border of silver kaam and I still drool over it.
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My fiance said if its too difficult then it doesn't matter and he'll talk to her but I REALLY don't want this hanging over our heads for the rest of our lives.
No, you definitely need to consider how not wearing the sari could come back to haunt you in the future. It's a simple fix and as you said.....not worth giving MIL a reason to whine.
Is MIL buying the sari in Bangladesh? Or is she open to you buying it here OR even you going shopping with her to get it?
My Tamil friend wore this gorgeous chiffon sari at her wedding.. it was hot pink and had a thick border of silver kaam and I still drool over it.
Ask her if you can borrow it for a few hours... ;)
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I think its a great idea to invite the MUA for the wedding (make sure you tell her all the plans beforehand so she doesn't leave before you change into the other outfit). Otherwise, you can get a dupptta that doesn't clash with the sari. The link I posted has a red dupptta with a yellow sari.
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One of my cousins wore a sari for her nikkah as her family wanted that .It was a beautiful green sari.Not sure if it was the pallu or a separate duppata..she then changed into an english style white wedding dress.
Some saris are 9 yards n some are 6, so if it's 9 there will be more room for adjusting the pallu.
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p.s and yes some of their silk saris are loud and colours do clash, but if you search there are people who have elegant taste too. I'd suggest you dont send pics but instead give her cuttings of silk colours you like , that way you cant go wrong.
In silk, ivory matt gold with the white undertones (not the yellow gold) and rust would look lovely.
Chiffon does look beautiful but ur MIL sounds traditional and thats why she may think of silk as a "bridal" option. I remember my grandmum couldnt understand how I wore anything other than silk for formal wear.
Even if she doesn't appreciate the effort, your husband will cuz it will show him you've catered to his mum's wishes from day 1. (cant go wrong there ;) )
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:k: Yep…a easy way to earn MAJOR brownie points with hubby.
Costume Change at Wedding??
Why not wear the nikah lengha n dupatta in the first half and then change into a sari later, get the make up artist to do a nice hairstyle dt will look good with dupatta n without when u wear the sari.
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Bangaleshi. Ok I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the last sari… It’s stunning… something I can totally see myself in. Do you have more pictures of it?
I think the game plan is to wear it for the first bit during the Nikkah, then change and re-enter in my lehnga. I don’t don’t really want to wear a sari for the “fun” bit (dancing, cake cutting, etc) because I don’t know how to move in a sari and I want to be comfortable. I may have to speak to my MUA friend to see if she can help out because that would make my life a lot easier.
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Here’s an example of a bride having a dupatta and it doesn’t overkill the look
And these are the only pix I found of this bride :
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^ the first bride you posted looks amazing!!
love the royal blue dupatta on her head.
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^Trust me I was thinking of you when I saw this ^_^
She looks elegant !
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OMG I die! I copied the pics and I'm forwarding them to MIL.
