I was 8 when my dad passed away. Being the eldest with 4 little siblings in nappies my mum had to make it through every piece of crap that was thrown at her and she got there in the end. I was so lost, I was the eldest and had no1 but my dad to look up to. Y’know the littlest things he did that made him look like the coolest father in the world even if it was just to get the clock working again or fixing the light bulb. It’s really painful and you never ever heal. Even after a decade now the wounds are as fresh as ever and the memories that come with it. Everything that my mum had to go through, all the people who made it that much worse for us, the tears in my siblings’ eyes even if they were babies and didn’t understand what was going on. It’s like as if it was only tomorrow.
I just wish I had him right now, to see how we’ve had to deal with his loss and how we’ve had to adjust everything and how we’ve been through so much and we’re still on this journey, without him. I know for a fact if he was here things would be COMPLETELY different. It’s just so weird how much of a difference ONE person can make. Especially a father, a father being the man of the house holds so much importance, he looks after you, he’s there to catch yu when you fall, he’d go out on a limb to protect you from harm. And not having that is like not having your skin to protect all your organs, which are ready to be hurt so easily.
The love and prayers I have for my dad are endless. I guess now that’s all they need, our prayers to be with them. Inshallah and Ameen.
