A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman and said,
‘‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days.’’
She looked at him and said,
‘‘I wish I had your willpower.’’
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A man inserted an ad in the classified: ‘‘Wife wanted.’’
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: ‘‘You can have mine.’’
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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
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First guy (proudly): ‘‘My wife’s an angel!’’
Second guy: ‘‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’’
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How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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If you want your wife to listen
and pay undivided attention to every word you say,
talk in your sleep.
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There once was a man who said,
‘‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married;
and then it was too late.’’
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A little boy asked his father,
‘‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’’
And the father replied,
''I don’t know son, I’m still paying.
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The last fight was my fault.
My wife asked, ‘‘What’s on the TV?’’
I said, ‘‘Dust!’’