Conversing with your fiance/e

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Hi all,

So say that your newly engaged and you start talking to your fiance…
what are some of the things you would talk to them about?
Some serious topics that you wish to discuss with your future hubby?

Comments will be much appreciated!
Thanks.

P.S. I’m new to the forum. =)

2

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

ask about him, his likes, dislikes . .then share yours .. be in agreement (and I am sure that he will do the same). This is not the time to make future plans (that leads to arguments) or test his commitments.

O its such an open topic .. talk what you feel would add value to relationship .. that is it

3

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

hey
welcome
i think u should talk bout ur future plans
wut u want to do after marriage
r u goin to continue ur studies or work
n then wut he wants also....
wut r ur expectations of each other
u mite feel shy talkin bout sum things but its good to know early on...
^ i just read wut TLK said
but in my case i felt like not talkin bout the future was bad idea...
but i guess everyone is different

4

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

future plans that are in agreement .. yes they should be discussed .. but what if hse wants to study and he wants kids .. that will lead to an argument or bad taste .. that is why I say that take a slow start, get t o know each other .. future plans can wait

5

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

ask em have they ..he or she ..if not you ..been forcrd in to this ..:D

and get the convo going from there as TLK said ..dislikes etc ..

6

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

This is not my Multi people, even though this will be very helpful for me too:halo:

7

CE :hmmm:

8

LOL. I guess not… but wow.

9

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

Communication gap is the biggest problem after marriage. See if you can start working on that. For example, one of my friend's wife really got offended just because he called her 'tum bohat bad-zaok ho'. Now in common urdu, this is not a big deal but his wife was brought up in USA and couldn't understand this just because the word 'bad-zaok' started with 'bad-...'

If your fiance is male, never never tell him your secrets especially the ones involving another man. Other than that always remember 'Marad kay dil ka rasta uskay pait sai ho kar jata hai'

Regards

10

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

I talk to him about everything from politics to choices of clothing. Lately, the topics have focused on the wedding but before that, we discussed things that wouldnt spark a lot of debate like how my day went, the things I hold near and dear to me, my choices in books and movies, cuisine, etc. Just shared a lot about what we like and dislike.

11

lol, Straight_up I had to say tht becoz I knew someone else was gonna say it..:slight_smile:

12

If your fiance is male, never never tell him your secrets especially the ones involving another man. Other than that always remember 'Marad kay dil ka rasta uskay pait sai ho kar jata hai'

Regards
[/quote]

^ i disagree with u pakiamerican, i think its better to me honest and have everything out in the open frm the start. U dont want him/her to find out abt ur past frm other ppl. they will lose the trust in u.
u dont have share every little detail abt ur ex, but just telling them u have an ex...shouldn't be hidden.

CHALO KUCH DER HANSTE HAIN
13

^ i disagree with u pakiamerican, i think its better to me honest and have everything out in the open frm the start. U dont want him/her to find out abt ur past frm other ppl. they will lose the trust in u.
u dont have share every little detail abt ur ex, but just telling them u have an ex...shouldn't be hidden.
[/quote]

Rabia
How old are you? Married? Engaged? what other life experiences do you have as far as managing this complex relationship is concerned.... and how well you really know MEN ?

Please elaborate to support your dis-agreement.
BTW, I am married for more than 15 years, know men because I am one, and basically been there done that almost everything.....lol

Regards

14

make sure you are clear that you believe in monogamy

there are men out there who feel they have all the experience the world can offer and yet they don’t do the most simple thing - like upholding their vows to their wife

so yeah :k: just make it clear with him

15

I agree esp' if you have asked Allah Ta'lah swt for forgiveness of past actions you regreted. Then you deserve to look forward to happiness. :)

Past is past - so move on and look forward to the future. :)

16

Rabia
How old are you? Married? Engaged? what other life experiences do you have as far as managing this complex relationship is concerned.... and how well you really know MEN ?

Please elaborate to support your dis-agreement.
BTW, I am married for more than 15 years, know men because I am one, and basically been there done that almost everything.....lol

Regards
[/quote]

^ first of all i m offended by u asking for my age. i m a mature woman.

not all men are the same, some actually want the honest truth (because i knw i also would want the truth).

I have been with my fiance for 4 years mA. and getting married this dec iA.

so this is why i think its better to come out and tell the truth...because this world is too small (my ex n fiance weren't even the same cities) and there are too many evil ppl out there.

Viewership measurement and TV Channels ..
17

I understand what you are saying, however not everyone is strong enough to bear the truth. One one hand it isn't fair to hide such things but then on other hand, it is best for such information to stay hidden to save your relationship.

One of my friends had a few past relationships which she later regretted. She was always emotional on the prayer mat begging for forgiveness from Allah Ta'lah swt. She was unable to find a Husband and she thought it was because of her past. She was unhappy and constantly depressed about her past memories. I told her to go on Umra. She then went on Umra to clear her mind and again begged for forgivness. Her prayers were answered and she was quickly introduced to someone. She felt Allah Ta'lah swt had forgiven her. She kept her secrets inside her and is enjoying a wonderful married life, alhamdolilah. She has so much faith in Allah Ta'lah swt and knows he will protect her.

I know one couple who both had past relationships and decided to never discuss their past with eahcother as they just wanted to move forward and enjoy their future together.

So you see every person's situation is different. :)

18

Re: Conversing with your fiance/e

Welcome to GS and the life1 forum :)

-Make sure you tell him your likes and dislikes and ask him to tell u the same.
-talk about future goals in life (ie career, family etc)
-discuss religion to make sure that you two are on the same page when it comes to religious views.
-talk about finances.....without sounding like you are money hungry. the reason i say this is just so you can get an idea or whether or not he is a big spender or very kanjoos lol...neither is good...u want someone that is in the middle. You also want to make sure that he has good credit and is not in any kind of outstanding debt. This is important for your financial security and the well being of your potential family.

19

[quote]
first of all i m offended by u asking for my age. i m a mature woman.

not all men are the same, some actually want the honest truth (because i knw i also would want the truth).

I have been with my fiance for 4 years mA. and getting married this dec iA.

so this is why i think its better to come out and tell the truth...because this world is too small (my ex n fiance weren't even the same cities) and there are too many evil ppl out there.
[/quote]

I posted this related response to another thread.

You know marriage is very complex relationship in today's world. No matter what, both are human and both can't deal with a fact (not for log) that someone they are being intimate with was intimate with someone else. So why play with the fire, keep your ex life in a safe deposit box and lose the key...

Some will object it by saying, what if they hear it from someone else? well were you that stupid to publish your personal life that everyone knows the details ? Even if they hear it from somewhere, you can always deny that......lot better than confessing it and not leaving a way out ....