Controlling spouses/fiances

How do you handle people who are controlling and dominating? These are people who criticize your dressing, your lifestyle, your parents, your siblings, your cooking, your cleaning etc. Of course if some one is doing all that together you’ll probably blast out but for instance some are just critical & controlling overall. He/She likes things a certain way and handle things their way. They have the attitude that they are know-it-alls and what they say is always right.

Should you equally react to them? Not answer back just give a hoon-haan response? Ignore it and fix what they are saying? Have a Yes Boss attitude and do everything to avoid confrontation and keep it all good?

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

damn!it would be pure torture to live with someone who wants to change your basic personality traits!:(

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

Show them early on that you can stand your ground for things that you truly believe in/value, if indeed you can.

For other things that you don't much care about or you can let go without compromising your happiness too much, let go.

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

I can live with a poor husband but can never imagine living happily with a control freak, and I'm lucky that my husband knows me inside out and knows how much I love my freedom, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't have a say in what I do, of course he does because he's the only one person who I believe is sincere and genuine in his intentions and he's like that with everyone.

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

I would like a little bit of me man, you my woman, mainly cos its nice LOL.

But complete control of everything I don't think so! You need to voice your concerns, how else would it not lead to a happy marriage if your a complete mute he would walk all over you. My parents are very controlling, and I have to voice my concerns until they are heard otherwise they would simply just walk all over. Same goes with friends I have had in the past. Sometimes you have to show people that they don't have permission to thrust all their worldly views on you, you are a human being with views, opinions, thoughts and feelings not a pet or small child that needs disciplining or told how to live their life.

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They are free to speak about my dressing, food etc. they wont get-away with speaking about my family or siblings. If they say it while being in my house, i'll politely let them know that it's my space and this is how 'we/I' like it. I don't like i'll find faults just to get back at them though. Sometimes people need to know that their advice/critisizm isn't really welcome or needed.

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

Dump the brat already.

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i hate it when people cant accept people for who tehy are. i put the attitude of dont put up with me if its so difficult.

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just ignore

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

Same problem....again?

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

Nope - the thread is a generic discussion nothing specific at all; have actually seen many people of this sort.

But the the family part still is there, didn't get solved much :(

Re: Controlling spouses/fiances

I wouldnt want them to think it was acceptable behavior in anyway so - I would nip it in the bud.

Have a talk the first time it happens so you dont have to deal with it a second time.