Yeah we all need to vent out at some point but some people require more venting than the others. Half of the times when you listen to them it’s very clear that they like to dwell in the past and dissect every happening and give it either a psychological angle or a victimization angle.
I can deal with such people except when it comes to close relatives. Like real close.
Sometimes the negative energy is quite disturbing and quite frankly I zone out and find myself doing hmmmm and yessss and rightttttt a lot.
Any other ways of dealing with such people specially when you have really really tried to reach out and help them focus on life’s blessings but in vain?
You can't really help them. All they want is someone to listen to their problems. Just switch the topic or end the conversation with an excuse..."oh, i have to go watch what my daughter is doing' 'aray i forgot i need to call up my hubby, talk to you later'.....They'll get a hint after sometime!
Some people carry it a bit too far and I know of a few of them.
I deal with them in a way where their negativity doesnt affect my life. Meaning, I try to limit their venting to no more than 20 minutes or so and then beg off with some excuse.
Im all about helping people and being there for them, really. But sometimes you have to take a step back and make sure their negativity isnt messing up your own life...because then its just not worth it.
if you genuinely care about this person, i would advise you to take them seriously instead of being dismissive of what they are saying since you are fed up of their negativity. To encourage them to overcome whatever they are feeling, you can:
encourage other topics of conversation
provide her with support materials (contact numbers, info.) on support groups if whatever she is discussing is something of a serious nature (i.e. abuse)
encourage her to join or participate in an activity that will keep her mentally engaged elsewhere so she doesn't think about the past (arts and crafts, bookclubs, gym, etc.) and perhaps even join yourself with her IF you have the time
However, if the negativity has reached the point where it's having a real affect on you and how you are handling things, then you need to put yourself first and limit your interaction with this person.
The key is listenin and not commenting. People need to vent. They don't need advise. There is a difference. Humans and men in general try to offer advise when it is not needed. Just shut and listen. Best strategy there is.
Sometimes a person needs to go through their entire past to determine exactly what mistakes they madea nd where htey went wrong..so they can avoid making those same mistakes again esp if it seems to be a pattern in their life, or maybe to get a fresh perspective to an on going situation.
nik
How you behave in front on that persons problem is going to have a big impact how they feel about them.
If it was your son, smacking him on the head and making him pratha will fix all the issues.
Other wise, you need to identify where is where they need to vent. and where they are reaching out for to be rescued.
1-When vent time you let them say stuff. With out getting effected your self. If you get effected you wont be able to help. Just give them enough attention so if there is any piece of new information you wont miss it.
2-And then there will be time when you kick their butt and tell "lets go" do some life and look at the future.
