Wondering if anyone here can give me tactful advise on what to do in this following situation.
I got married about 6 months ago, and now it’s just my dad and my mum living at home.. They both suffer from medical conditions but over the last year or so dad has started behaving in a very controlling / impulsive way towards mum. At first it started very slightly and I was at home plus wedding preps were happening and no one took that much of a noticed.
Now that everything has settled down, mum’s really struggling with hisbehaviour.. He just dosen’t let her be in any room alone, whether it be tv room, bed room or what not.. If she’s on the computer he NEEDS to know what she’s doing. It’s sort of like he’s doubting what she’s doing…it’s like he needs to keep a constant eye on her.. it’s so weird..
There are many little things he does and it’s driving my mum insane and I cant blame her.. Dad is someone that if confronted about this, sh*t will hit the fan and it will make things worst..
In my opinion i know my dad and he’s a great loving person.. I honestly feel it’s some side effect from the multiple medicine he takes and it’s some type of behaviour that’s developing.. Has anyone else ever come across this?
I find myself in a very awkward and helpless position.. Just settling into life myself and the thought of what;s going on at home is making me more worried and sick
he needs psychological help. please take professional help in this matter.
Professional Help, I agree he may need it.. but at the moment it's out of the question.. if that is even suggested to him a volcano will erupt.. Not sure if many of you are familiar with dad's from that era where sometimes theyre unapproachable and never accept when they're wrong..
Need a tactful manner.. Like i said he;s a lovely caring loving father and person but theres one aspect of it which is getting out of control :(
Before you mentioned this could be side effects from his medication, I was going to tell you to take him to the doctors to have a full check up. You have no idea how certain illnesses will react in a persons body and what it does to their mind.
Like you said, he is a loving and caring father and person .... you and your siblings should speak to him gently about this. Something else could be going on aside from the meds.
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Not sure if many of you are familiar with dad's from that era where sometimes theyre unapproachable and never accept when they're wrong..
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Agreed, I know several people like this. But usually there's at least one person they listen to, a sibling of theirs or someone they respect. Maybe just approach the issue in another way, don't make him feel like you're attacking him, just ask him how things are at home and see what he says. Or ask him about whether he feels any different cos of his medicine. But yeah, he needs to go to a doctor or something. You need to do something before he gets more controlling or worse.
Also, do you have siblings who you can discuss this with?
DONT LET YOUR MOTHER HANDLE THIS SITUATION CAUSE HE WILL NEVER TAKE ADVICE FROM HER BUT INSTEAD YOU SHOULD TALK TO HIM. INDIRECTLY. just say we should go to a doctor for a complete checkup. and then go along with him. talk to the doctor before hand about the situation so he is able to deal with him gently and thus your father isnt aware and he wont create a fuss.
