Has any of you tried it for your baby in order to settle their sleep routine? a few number of people have suggested me that this really worked for them at least. I think it’s pretty cruel on the poor baby.
My little one wouldnt sleep without being rocked and cuddled and would also wake in the middle of the night either for a feed or just would want his pacifier. He does sleep through the night but wakes up for a few minutes every 2-3 hours. AND he still sleeps with me, wouldn’t sleep in his cot !
So I wanted to know if any of you tried either of these two methods? Did they work?
no i didnt tried it though honestly i wanted to try it but huby was against it, he was like yeah tu phele din se he u should have let her sleep on her own :(
anyhow in my case yes my baby would also sleep wth rocking but eventually when she grew up like 10 months she started sleeping herself, but yes hse still sleeps wth us :)
no. i don’t believe in crying it out. would you like to be left in a distressing situation, bawling your eyes out? probably not, right? so why would you do that to a wee baby?
i was adamant that we would co-sleep for as long as it took, and it was all dependent on how he felt, if he needed more space and if he was old enough to feel confident on his own. he started off co-sleeping with me because i was at my mom’s until he was 7 weeks old. then we continued co-sleeping briefly and then i transitioned him to his crib to see if he’d like it. it was going well until we both got sick so i brought him back into bed with me and then he refused to go back to his crib. he couldn’t seem to settle down in it and so i left it alone. a lot of people were telling me i just had to suck it up and let him cry it out and he’d get used to it blah blah blah but that mostly just annoyed the hell out of me. so anyway, long story short, we returned from vacation a week ago, and i put him in his crib to see if maybe he’d prefer it since he’s now rolling all over the bed and tossing and turning and guess what? at 11.5 months masha’Allah, after almost a year of co-sleeping, he’s now settled into his crib and prefers it over sleeping in bed with me. so that’s that.
i’d say be patient and pay attention to your baby’s cues. he’ll let you know. ignore what everyone is saying- if co-sleeping isn’t an issue for you, why the rush to put him in his crib? also, consider getting a pacifier clip – Boy : Baby Bintz, Unique, Handcrafted Baby Accessories. we clip it on to his bib or pj’s and when he wakes up at night, he knows where his pacifier is and he just pops it into his own mouth and goes back to sleep.
Nope didn't let my baby cry it out ever..I had no desire to do that to my child!!
We co slept until about 3 months..then I moved him in his crib n he sleeps better ther.in fact he prefers there! Honestly, I was willing to let him co sleep until he chose to do so..no pressure! I started crib for naps first during the day..n then night times! But even now if he cries or anything in the middle of night, I bringbukm to our bed, put him back to sleep, n take him to his crib. Alhamdulillah he sleeps just fine!
Enigmatic I am facing the exact problem with my 6 month old. She was a great sleeper till 4 months but the day she turned 4 months, she learnt to roll over both ways and ever since she has been a terrible sleeper. She goes to bed at 8 everyday without much fuss but I do rock her to sleep. However she keeps getting up every two hours needing to be rocked back to sleep. Sometimes I am so tired I just nurse her to sleep even though I shouldn't!
Her paed is big advocate of Ferber/Weisbluth (crying it out). In fact every paediatrician I've come across is a big advocate of that approach for babies with sleep problems. Her paed keeps telling me to train her because she needs to learn how to self soothe. She keeps assuring me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach and she herself did it with her kids. She also said that there are no psychological ramifications and if anything it makes the baby happier and well rested after a good night's sleep. We all know healthy sleep is extremely important for infants and they should be sleeping without feeling the need to be rocked or nursed by the time they're 6 months. A lot of babies learn to self soothe on their own and are great sleepers but some aren't and you need to work on them to help them settle down on their own.
I have been delaying this too because like you I can't imagine letting my baby cry for 45 mins while I see her on the monitor. It does seem rather cruel but my husband keeps telling me to do it since it's for our baby's benefit. He says you blindly follow the doctor's advice on everything then how come you are reluctant to try this approach when the doctor has been such a strong advocate of it. I am still debating and there are days when I am this close to doing it but stop myself out of guilt. :(
I also currently co-sleep but I sleep in her nursery because there is no way I am putting her in between me and my husband. I am too paranoid about her getting hurt that way. Plus with her rolling all over the place and being stuck between me and my husband, none of us are really getting any restful sleep. I really wish she would sleep on her own and everyday I hope she would learn on her own but it's not getting better. I think I am going to wait it out 2 more weeks (my husband doesn't know yet!) and maybe things will improve. But I just want to assure you there is nothing wrong with using this approach. It's harder on us than it is on them. I have a couple of friends who did it and they always tell me how much happier their baby is and even after that first horrible night of crying, they are greeted by a big smile the next morning! They also tell me it was the toughest and the best thing they could do for their baby!
no. i don't believe in crying it out. would you like to be left in a distressing situation, bawling your eyes out? probably not, right? so why would you do that to a wee baby?
When I was researching this approach, I did come across this argument a lot but honestly the baby isn't in a stressful situation if he is fed, dry and comfortable. Baby just wants to be rocked to sleep and it's just a habit he has become accustomed to. Also if an adult or even a 5 yr old is crying and the parents don't attend to him, the kid would still be upset the next morning. With a baby, all is forgotten the next morning and they are delighted to see you. Babies work differently. The truth of the matter is different approaches work for different people. A good friend of mine is doing her fellowship and her one yr old went through terrible sleep regression. She has a very demanding job and she couldn't get up every 2 hours to rock her to sleep. Moreover, her baby would get up at 5 everyday and refuse to go back to sleep and she needed to leave for work at 7. She used this approach and both mom and baby are very happy now.
I know this approach works and it doesn't harm the baby and all the sleep experts like Ferber etc. are strong advocates but I am still reluctant to use it because it is terribly terribly terribly hard to watch your little munchkin cry.
I cant bear my little one to cry for more than 2 minutes and these people talk about 20 minutes uff. GTG you are lucky that your cuppy cake is a good sleeper MA.
SGC, I agree with you. We still co-sleep. Let's see when he can make his transition to the crib. Cherry, I do the same at times nurse him to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night when am too tired. :(
I heard from everybody else too how well it works. I guess i myself am not ready for this.
Cherry..no offense but just because your fiend had a demanding job doesn't mean that was the only solution...I went back to work after 8 weeks n no sweetly I wasn't functioning on a full night sleep..my baby woke up every 2-3 hours to be fed and I happily did that..my husband has been very supportive but at that time I was bfing at night time so had to get up.
Enigmatic... It's okay..it will get easy..I used to pick mine up as soon as he made the crying face..people objected n told me its good for his lungs etc but I couldn't let him cry...I was always there for him! Crying it out for 20 mins..sorry can't do that, mine has these huge tears rolling down his cheeks in 20 secs! :(
I never let her cry it out.I never even thought about it,to be honest.I think being a first time mom,I just could not imagine her crying for a few mins.
She is now MA 2 years old and has always slept in her crib and she has been a good sleeper,AH.She was sleeping through the night around 4 months of age and there was a lil disturbance in her routine around 10 months of age when we got back from Pakistan.
I very strongly believe that different approaches work for different kids and parents and their set-ups and lifestyles.There is no right or wrong to it (obviously as long as they are not being harmed).
According to a pediatrician's textbook this might not be right,but every night I still rock my 2 yo to sleep.It takes a few mins after we are done with bed time routine and story and she tells me that she is sleepy,I bring her to the rocker,we read our kalma and I read the 4 qul and phoonk her and she is asleep within minutes.I actually love these few minutes and cherish them,although I am trying to make her fall asleep on her own too.But for now it is mommy and daughter bonding time at bedtime..!
When I was researching this approach, I did come across this argument a lot but honestly the baby isn't in a stressful situation if he is fed, dry and comfortable. Baby just wants to be rocked to sleep and it's just a habit he has become accustomed to. Also if an adult or even a 5 yr old is crying and the parents don't attend to him, the kid would still be upset the next morning. With a baby, all is forgotten the next morning and they are delighted to see you. Babies work differently. The truth of the matter is different approaches work for different people. A good friend of mine is doing her fellowship and her one yr old went through terrible sleep regression. She has a very demanding job and she couldn't get up every 2 hours to rock her to sleep. Moreover, her baby would get up at 5 everyday and refuse to go back to sleep and she needed to leave for work at 7. She used this approach and both mom and baby are very happy now.
I know this approach works and it doesn't harm the baby and all the sleep experts like Ferber etc. are strong advocates but I am still reluctant to use it because it is terribly terribly terribly hard to watch your little munchkin cry.
the thing is, babies don't cry just because. so maybe they're not in physical distress but obviously mentally they're not happy. i just couldn't bring myself to do it. plus, its not a matter of only 45 minutes. once you commit, it doesn't matter if it takes 2 hours, 3 hours or more- you have to leave them in there. if you go get them before they "self-soothe", then you've just put them- and yourself- through a distressing time for nothing because they'll know if they cry hard enough, you'll get them. i couldn't do that. maybe i'm not strong enough? but yes, you're right- different strokes for different folks.
i suppose, like your friend, if a parent has no choice because of other commitments, then you suck it up and do it. but if you're not in that situation, then i don't understand the rush.
Cherry..no offense but just because your fiend had a demanding job doesn't mean that was the only solution...I went back to work after 8 weeks n no sweetly I wasn't functioning on a full night sleep..my baby woke up every 2-3 hours to be fed and I happily did that..my husband has been very supportive but at that time I was bfing at night time so had to get up.
I think it's not fair to judge any mom if they did resort to this approach. My friend is on a nephrology fellowship so she has to do dialysis on very sick patients and just could not afford to be functioning on less sleep. She doesn't have a regular 9-5 office job. Also, she tried everything before resorting to this
approach and she has no regrets. In fact she wonders why she
didn't try it earlier because both her and her daughter are
doing a lot better now.
It's like those breastfeeding nazis out there....breastfeeding
worked really well for me but I will never think any mom
giving her child formula is 'lazy'. A mother does her best and you gotta do what you gotta do to make sure you and your child is happy. I know I still haven't gotten around to letting my child cry it out because I feel terrible but I also don't think it's my place to judge anyone who did use this approach.
I just want to add that letting your baby cry it out is also something both patents need to agree on.
I wanted to and did try this approach with Jr. But hubby picked him up 5-7 mins into crying. He just couldn't see the baby crying. I am really sensitive abt my sleep and do turn into a monster so hubby would at times get up for the night time feeds and feed expressed milk. And just soothe him.
On a day where I didn't have to work I didn't mind holding my baby till they were calm but days that I had to go to work or I was extra tired I was so frustrated.
We did find a middle ground and we still do that which is have the crib next to our bed with one wall down. Jr. Is happy that he is close to us and we are comfortable knowing he is sleeping in his own crib.
Cherry..I wasn't judging your friend..I was just saying that's it's not the only solution for anyone who wants to try it out. Motherhood isn't easy for anyone even the housewives get tired n it's not like they sleep during the day if the baby stayed up all night...motherhood is challenging, nonetheless!
^ I never said that was the only solution. I just said someone who does use such a solution does not mean they are being a cruel parent or it's a ruthless approach period. I balked too when I heard of crying it out but after two months of sleep deprivation I understand why people do it. I still haven't gotten around to doing it and knowing me I probably won't even try because like you all said, one pouty face with tears in their eyes makes our heart melt. Housewives don't sleep all day I agree but they do get a chance to take a nap when the baby naps or at least put their feet up. I know coz I'm currently one! Haha. Working women like my friend don't even get a chance to do that so I totally understand why she did what she did.
Autumn it's the opposite for me. My husband keeps telling me to let her cry it out but I just can't. I come up with really funny excuses...like I would have done it if she was a boy coz I want to make my boy tough but she's a girl so I can't let her cry it out coz she's so delicate!! Haha
i have noticed that too....like when we come back home from a 3-4 hour trip then my baby is constantly crying n wants to sleep n it takes me more than 5 mins to prepare him(change diaper,nitesuit n then feeding)for bed....he sleeps soundly then....
but yes! seeing him crying make me more stressful n upset....n husband is also not happy with it...
he has developed a good sleeping routine Alhumdulillah....but i feel very sad when he waits for me to feed him at nite n i am in kitchen doing the dishes n kneading ata for breakfast....but when he starts crying i leave all my work n nurse him....i dont know if it is ok ffor letting a 4month old wait for feeding...:(
i also want to move him to crib but couldnt find the courage n energy for doing that yet....hmmmmm
but i think it is not a good idea to let the baby cry....we need to have a lot of patience arghhhh