For those of you who are married or not… how important do you think your first 3-4 years are after marriage in terms of getting to know each other and building up on your newfound relationship as husband and wife.
I’m sure we know of plenty of cases when the guy has had to move out for work/college etc after marriage but what if your wife was to move out right after marriage for school and you couldn’t for the time being because of a good job/ family obligations. Would you be okay with that?
Re: continuing education after marriage
For those of you who are married or not... how important do you think your first 3-4 years are after marriage in terms of getting to know each other and building up on your newfound relationship as husband and wife.
I'm sure we know of plenty of cases when the guy has had to move out for work/college etc after marriage but what if your wife was to move out right after marriage for school and you couldn't for the time being because of a good job/ family obligations. Would you be okay with that?
tough question.
Re: continuing education after marriage
I think the first 3 or 4 years are the most important...as after that time you have children...you should have a 'base' to have children on...a strong bond between each other.....
i mean in the case you are talking about....would the wife be at college/university? if this was the case....why didnt they wait till the education was over and done with and then get married? i guess this is something they knew before marriage and not much can be done apart from keeping in contact and seeing each other as often.
Re: continuing education after marriage
What's the rush with getting married before getting an education? I'd imagine getting married and not living together wouldn't probably be ideal. Things can change without regular contact in 3-4 years, no? If you do know you'll be away, hold out on the marriage. If you like someone enough to consider them your partner, I'm sure you can wait out on the marriage.
And if they won't change then this is a non-issue. You can work around the issue of distance by keeping in touch via phone, internet, letters and regular visits every week, fortnight or month. Its not really a big deal these days.
Re: continuing education after marriage
guys should marry only once the basic step of the professional education is done with.
the girls can continue with their education but they should keep in mind the compromises that come along the way .. :)
Re: continuing education after marriage
this reminds me of a situation a very good friend of mine is in ..
he just did his mbbs i.e. graduated from med school with me. His fiancee' is done with her ACCA. They have been engaged for the past 5 years - an addition of 2 years of dating so all in all they have been together since almost 8 years..
but still my friend doesn't want to get married yet...says he would wait till he gets into a residency programme in the US ..and then he would marry her...I think it's good that he's so career oriented..but what about the poor girl who is just going to wait for another 3-4 years
that wouldnt be fair IMO!
Re: continuing education after marriage
Realistically speaking, it takes a lot more time to get into a residency program here in the United States than expected so your friend's fiancee can add up 2more years if he is aiming for it courageously.
this reminds me of a situation a very good friend of mine is in ..
he just did his mbbs i.e. graduated from med school with me. His fiancee' is done with her ACCA. They have been engaged for the past 5 years - an addition of 2 years of dating so all in all they have been together since almost 8 years..
but still my friend doesn't want to get married yet...says he would wait till he gets into a residency programme in the US ..and then he would marry her...I think it's good that he's so career oriented..but what about the poor girl who is just going to wait for another 3-4 years
that wouldnt be fair IMO!
Re: continuing education after marriage
I think the importance of education is different for different people. Personally there are many options for studying, such as day release, part-time, distance learning and home mentoring or self-study.
Then there are different levels of needs and conditions. Marriage itself is not the criteria ... rather it is the financial, emotional needs of the people as well any potential children.
In some families the in-laws have a major part to play and the pros and cons need to be weighed out on an individual basis.
Re: continuing education after marriage
A can't marry before he can 'afford' a wife......... girls can.
Re: continuing education after marriage
normally people who i have known preferred staying together.So if i or my other half wanted to educated iw ud prefer it to stick together.
Re: continuing education after marriage
Good answers,
but for those of you who suggest to wait it out, what about girls who are opting for advanced degrees or careers that would require a lot more time to establish. While men could afford to be more laid-back, girls have a biological clock that starts tick-tocking when they pass their mid-twenties (I know a lot of people might not like hearing this but come on, realistically there's no denying the fact that it becomes worrisome at some point-a point that girls reach much more faster than guys).
I know there are situations like GIDSA mentioned when things can change but what about couples who are at a pretty stable point of their lives and know that getting married to each other is what they ultimately want. Sure engagements are nice but they can't outweigh the sanctity marriages hold where couples get to bond and touch base on a much deeper level. Moreover, it's just less things up in the air.
Then why is it that people frown at the thought of the girl moving out for education after getting married whereas staying just engaged even for 4+ years is much more acceptable?
This isn't personal or anything... I was just wondering.
(This is the 2nd time I'm writing this post and if it doesn't go through again, I'ma hunt down all the owners/moderators of this forum, chop them into pieces and feed them to worms- J/K).