I will be continuing my studies in next few months. I have been married for more then 6 months. I was basically home for all dat time. The thing is that I live with my in-laws; I don’t know how much my MIL is going to expect from me after me being a full-time student…just wondering is it going to be hard to me manage college & household? Has anyone here finished their studies after marriage? How is it like? Just curious…!
it is hard to study after shaadi but not impossible....when i got married i still had 3 semesters left that i finished after shaadi....my MIL was veryyyyyy helpful..i think inlaws plays a huge role in this....if it was not MIL i dont think k mein finish ker pati...she didnt force me to do house work...i used to do ghar k kaam on the weekend and on weekdays my saas used to do everything....even on weekends my MIL used to help me....
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
depends.
I still am struggling to get done with my bachelors degree even after six years.
but then we had and are still having many financial ups and downs Plus we became the parent of three kids in the first four years of our marriage (now don't ask me why or how)
in-laws wise, i lived with my husbands brother and his wife for the first two years out of which i went back to school for a year... my sis-in-law was okay and quite supportive with that but then i also was involved in the household chores, which was to the minimum anyways.
in a nutshell, my in-laws were supportive but our luck and situation were not. So you never know... but do try your best. I have seen many girls completing their education after marriage. I hope that you will have an almost ideal situation to accomplish your goals.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
My sisters finished their studies (bachelors AND graduate degrees) after they were married.
It really depends on you, your husband and in-laws and how much they value education. For my sisters, their husbands and in-laws thought education was a must so they were all very supportive of their studies. If you have the support and determination to do it and as long as you dont end up getting pregnant along the way.....it is very possible for you to finish your studies in a timely manner.
that’s awesome!! kudos to the in-laws :k:
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
Totally depends on your partner. I know girls who were unable to give their last SEMESTER (or EVEN PAPER) after the marriage and I know girls who went on to get Bachelors and Masters degree after marriage.
Talking of first hand experience, My mom did double Masters (Masters in 2 different fields) after getting married just becasue of my Father's support while my sister was unable to study more after marriage coz my BIL was not that supportive. My wife completed her Bachelors after marriage. My mom strictly asked her not to do any house work till she was done with her last semester. In fact i had to leave her in Pakistan for 6 month right after our wedding to complete her semester at KU.
Talk to your husband about it. Make him realize you REALLY WANT To study and how important its for you as an individual and "us" as a family.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
I'm completing my bachelors right now and my hubby is super cool about it. He is extremely supportive otherwise I think it is quite difficult to study after getting married coz one has to manage well between family and school. Nothing is impossible though! :)
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
Unless u married jahils who think education is useless for wives/bahus then it's not impossible t o finish :)
Is it difficult? YES.
Can it be done.? Absolutely.
Good luck.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
I did my resideny and postgraduation after i had two kids.
Unless u married jahils who think education is useless for wives/bahus then it's not impossible t o finish :)
NO! I didn't marry no illiterate person...my husband himself is an engineer, and well off m'A. He really wants me to finish my bachelors, and is very supportive. I am just concerned that i won't be able to help my MIL in anythinggg once i start college again. I hope dat doesn't bother her. Cuz in most families when a daughter comes home from college, forget abt making the daughter do the house work...the mother would actually warm up the food and serve (Of course i don't expect my MIL to do dat w/ me). But mostly MIL don't feel the same for their DILs...I would just want to put all my time into studying, and of course spent time w/ my hubby on weekends, not trying to do the entire house work to cover up for rest of the weekdays.
^ well hun with marrige comes the extra responsibilities and you might have to do the extra work.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
^ only you can know the answer to what your MIL will/won't expect from you and what you yourself are capable of.
some people find it hard to study even if they don't have any other responsibilities or chores. other people manage to hold down a job in the day and go to classes in the evenings and do study/housework on the weekends.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
^ hun it really depends on the families, as long as they are supportive of what you are doing.. ull have extra responsibilities true, but i know people who've had alot going on while they were studying and they were single.. as every one has said, it will be a challenge but as long as your husband and your in laws are understanding, it will not be impossible. Just take it slow. im assuming u'v ebeen living with the inlaws all this time, so u kind of have an idea of how things are done in your home... and u can adjust accordingly..
PS: be prepared for some of hte aunties to come out and tell u that parhai is a waste of time and just start having babies :@:
^ only you can know the answer to what your MIL will/won't expect from you and what you yourself are capable of.
some people find it hard to study even if they don't have any other responsibilities or chores. other people manage to hold down a job in the day and go to classes in the evenings and do study/housework on the weekends.
precisely :)
only you know yourself and the condition of your home better...
you can always start off with a couple of classes..and see how you handle them, because you will need the appropriate grades to graduate. Then you have got to factor in time for your husband and yourself..in addition to the housework that you are responsible for.
NO! I didn't marry no illiterate person...my husband himself is an engineer, and well off m'A. He really wants me to finish my bachelors, and is very supportive. I am just concerned that i won't be able to help my MIL in anythinggg once i start college again. I hope dat doesn't bother her. Cuz in most families when a daughter comes home from college, forget abt making the daughter do the house work...the mother would actually warm up the food and serve (Of course i don't expect my MIL to do dat w/ me). But mostly MIL don't feel the same for their DILs...I would just want to put all my time into studying, and of course spent time w/ my hubby on weekends, not trying to do the entire house work to cover up for rest of the weekdays.
even if your MIL is super nice, I think you'll have to take out time every day to contribute to household work coz let's not forget you're married and you have to take care of your husband in some way or another even if you don't do anything for his parents. Don't expect things to be all good for you!
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
Yea i agree w/ all of yous...i guess i'm going to find out in a couple of weeks after my college starts on how much or how hard i'm going to have to work to balance my married life & a student life :S
NO! I didn't marry no illiterate person...my husband himself is an engineer, and well off m'A. He really wants me to finish my bachelors, and is very supportive. I am just concerned that i won't be able to help my MIL in anythinggg once i start college again. I hope dat doesn't bother her. Cuz in most families when a daughter comes home from college, forget abt making the daughter do the house work...the mother would actually warm up the food and serve (Of course i don't expect my MIL to do dat w/ me). But mostly MIL don't feel the same for their DILs...I would just want to put all my time into studying, and of course spent time w/ my hubby on weekends, not trying to do the entire house work to cover up for rest of the weekdays.
i don't see why you won't be able to help your MIL with anything. i don't mean to be rude but i don't know what kind of fragile girls you know where the daughter's can't do anything else except study. even though my mother is a housewife since we have a huge family, me and my sister share all the household chores between us other than cooking which is left to my mother. even though we are both out all day and need to study in the evenings too or even just relax helping our mum out is a priority. the same goes for most of my cousin's and friends.
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
^ its not that they're fragile, parents just tend to do alot of laad-pyaar with their daughters..esp if it's just one daughter. I know i was/am very spoiled in this respect, my mom never let me do anything at home. if i come home in the evening, i know my food will be ready, air conditioner will be on, drinks will be in the fridge :@: I know where their intentions are, but then when u hit in the real world and gotta grow up and do everything on ur own...
Re: Continue studies after shadi...can it be difficult?
^lol, ok i suppose that's true too. just in my extended family and the people i know the parents want all their children to be self-sufficient and independent as possible. so i haven't experienced what you have described. the kind i have come across that are usually like this with their daughter's don't want or expect them to study too much anyway.
still, i think they must be made to feel they are more fragile than they really are when they don't have to and are not used to doing anything.