I constantly feel irritated, when i’m alone i feel okay, but when someone starts to ask me a question or talk me, i have to make a lot of effort not to snap back at them, and want the conversation over with ASAP, old hobbies don’t seem to interest me anymore, i used to be closer to islam too, but now i’m drifting away…
It’s almost as if i don’t like being with people, and i feel as if being completely alone is the solution but at the same time i know that locking myself in my room all day isn’t the way to live life.
as a child i was sort of ‘left out’ at school, because the ‘popular’ girl didn’t like me so i wouldn’t be allowed to join in the games at playtime. I did have friends, but they would often have to choose between spending lunchtime with me and or the rest of the class. Now all these girls have grown up, and whenever my mum meets them, or when theres a gathering all the ‘aunties’ have nothing but praise for how pretty these girls are, and how well mannered they are. And when these aunties meet me they keeping asking me to ‘fix myself’ one aunty even said ’ tum apna chahra theek kerwao, kissi doctor se ilaaj kerwao apna’ (i don’t even have acne, jst dry skin and a few acne scars) It makes me feel worthless. I think i still havent gotten over what happened to me in primary school.
Has anyone else been through anything similar? Should i see a counsellour?
Xtron mode on
From the title of your post, your goal has to do with self-improvement. The self cannot be "improved." However, we can improve upon our current knowledge, understanding and care of our "real" or core selves. Most people disconnect from their real selves in childhood when they mistakenly come to believe that their unmet needs and the problems in their family are their fault (due to profound egocentricity during , the time when the core identity is developed). They then disconnect from their real self: their real feelings, thoughts, dreams, style, behaviors, etc. and develop a "coping self" i.e. a "self" that looks to the environment to tell them what to feel, think, want, do, etc. Many people who seek to "improve" themselves really just want to be more happy, or less miserable, or both. They set out to improve themselves by trying to be more of what their environment wants, thinking that this will lead to more love, acceptance, respect, etc. and therefore more happiness. The problem is that living from a coping self is an exhausting and ultimately unsatisfying way to live, because it is only the maintainence of a facade, and does not bring any real satisfaction to the true/core self which has been disconnected from and now just lies buried under the layers of the coping self. If, however, you set a goal to know and understand your real self better, and to learn to live more authetically based on what your real self wants (NOT based on what others want) you will begin to experience more happiness and satisfaction. Your true self is as perfect as it's going to get, but it does need to be understood, validated, cared for and nurtured.
I propose that the goal of self-improvement is unreachable because the real/true self cannot be improved upon. If your ultimate goal is more happiness and less misery, then you may want to consider a goal of knowing, undertsanding, accepting, nurturing and caring for your real self. Real self which validates who you truely are as a person and a individual. Also remember, people talk and the unltimate goal shouldn't be to pleasure people around us but rather..focusing on your strengths.
you need to develop confidence and face community, you need to focus on the things which would help you to become valuable among all. don´t run off people, moreover don´t try to win heart of every one , just make your self prominent in society by continously focussing on what you need to work without bothering any one.:)
mhm… un mamas ki tarhan naa banen jo apnay larko ki har bimari ka hal “shadi” btati hain ke shadi kerdo theek hojayega… wo to theek hojata hay bechari larki pagal ho jati hay phir
HurtAndUpset,
All these are symptoms of depression. See a psychiatrist as soon as possible.
Are you seriously kidding me
You need to meet some good people and make good friends. Try not to hang out with superficial people since they have nothing better to do than to put others down. The moment someone makes a remark which is superficial, cut that person out of your life (I have done that and I take pride in it that such people are not a part of my life)
Trust me, superficial things like beauty does make a mark but it doesnt last for too long. Do something worthwhile with your life, get involved with good causes and make yourself a strong personality. Let people say crap, who cares, they will never be happy to see you succeed anyway.
This world is seriously in need of good, strong people who can actually do more than just looking pretty, focusing on makeup, clothes, and popular culture
ke shadi kerdo theek hojayega… wo to theek hojata hay bechari larki pagal ho jati hay phir 
This is coming from me, of all people, but you might want to look into it.