DD, it would be interesting to know where you live - are you in an eastern country or western?
In the east, many houses are built with the extended family in mind and so are at least somewhat easier to handle. In the west, houses are built with nuclear family in mind - mother, father and kids. So there are smaller rooms, less bathrooms etc.
In either case though, it sounds like your wife wants only nuclear family in her household and is taking frustration out on you. And not being understanding about things. Are your parents fit and active? Would they do well in their own place? Not that I'm suggesting you move them out but that may be on your wife's mind yeah? Would a "mother-daughter" type house be an option for you? I know its hard, esp these days in US to sell and buy a new house...but these mother-daughter houses have a separate living quarters and provide somewhat more privacy to both parent and couple.
You should maybe try to engage your wife in deeper discussion over the whole situation because when you discuss the little things she complains about, you really arent hitting the source of the problem I think. Theres something more on her mind than who eats what or who stays up late to watch tv. Talk it out and see what develops...
Best of luck, its not fun for you or for your wife I'm sure. Hopefully some good discussion will bring peace to your home.
ask ur wife whether she'd treat her parents in the same manner as she does urs. Would she question it if her father ate ur food or God forbid use the guest bathroom?
I agree with many of the above posters that suggested that the issue is not so much the little things she is nagging about, but the fact that she now has to live with her in-laws.
I think you need to address this larger issue first and foremost. Does she want them there? Can she handle it? Does she need extra help around the house? What can you do to make things less of a burden on her? I guarantee you, the simple act of you considering her needs will make things easier on her. Finally, be prepared to hear her say that she cannot manage to live with her in-laws. You may want to start thinking about other living arrangements for your growing familly...
Its amazing how quickly women run to Saas Susar for rescue when in firing line from husbands.
well i think they are controlling freaks and the moment they see/smell danger to their control zone/domain they act to eleminate the danger.
The thing is we need to tell them ( using any of the techniques, no matter how silly it looks) that their** domain** ( which in most cases is the brain/head of the husbands) is not under attack by any intruder.
My parents moved in with me after they retired, my wife keeps nagging me about little things about them specially about Dad, like
why ur dad uses guest bathroom, he shud use his own
Your Dad ate the meal i prepared for you
why he watches tv till late night (though it does not affect her in any way)
etc.
I have told her many times that you can't expect to change there habits at this age and these are little things.
What can i do about it?
My gwad! I feel for you. Hehe! If you take Dad's side, she will nag you more and if you take her side, your Dad might get hurt.
Maybe your Dad uses guest room toilet b/c it gets cleaned more often! Or maybe because the loo-roll is softer!
Tell wife to cook same meal for her FIL and husband. (As your Dad obviously likes the meals cooked for you better!)
Get your Dad his own TV in his room, so wife doesn't get bothered that she is missing late night Oprah. Lol.
it is in reality the struggle for independence.... what i feel is that every woman should b given space to run her house in whatever way he wants, at times the parents start enforcing and comparing the young ppl with them. afterall they too had lived a life of their own and had their own ways. as far as the husband is concernd why not to get a seperate part of the house or to alott an area where the elders can also feel freedom? what i feel is that every relation stays well if it has sum distance with it. as familiarity breeds contempt and the more closer u r, the more flaws of each other's character would cum into the limelite and in this case the difference will always stay there............kindly don't enforce ur parents on ur wife as i too have read a lot abt it and staying in a seperate place is a wife's right. don't make the relations a burden on it. first talk and tell her abt ur feelings in a polite way and then deide for sumthing. i believe that v too have to turn old but seeing the present scenario i too have thinking of having my own life, not dependant on the kids.
