Sammi,
I refrained from responding to your more recent posts/s in your last thread. But I won’t refrain now. You need to do some research on what a nikkah is…you know those papers you signed…? You need to google the gravity of what a nikkah is. Cuz last time I heard that a nikkah is a vow you make to Allah. Does that have any significance to you at all?
I know that adolescents tend to be fickle and perhaps the feelings you are going through have much to do with your age. But despite your youth, I still cannot help but see you as self-centered.
There are so many holes in your story, so many contradictions…that it’s a wonder you do not see them. You say that you were so mentally absorbed by your own issues that you didn’t pay much attention to your husband and your conversations withhim…during the time you both were getting to know each other prior to marriage. You call this stage your “infatuation” with him. I still wonder how you manager to develop an infatuation or a crush on him when by your own admission you weren’t even paying much attention to him.
So, when you were going through your ED and phase of low self-esteem, did you think to yourself that marriage was just the thing you needed to feel loved and accepted and better about yourself. And then after you came out of your ED, you realized that now you don’t want him cuz he’s too different from you. To me that basically reads as “you want him when it’s convenient for you, you don’t want him when it’s not convenient.” Is that not self-centered? Then you genereously pepper your posts with comments that he is “such a good guy” and “so nice”…why? Why do you do this? Is it a way to alleviate guilt on your part or yo make you seem less…wrong…for lack of a better word? Then you say that a few years down the road, he might be the perfect guy for you. He is not some article of clothing that you take off and stash in your closet…and forget about for the next several years…until you’re “ready” to try it on again to see if it “fits you better now.” You can’t toss aside a husband and “test him out” at a later point. Again such an attitude reads like you wanting him when it’s convenient for you. Again, is that not self-centered?
I sympathize with you for the ED and other issues you went through, but did those issues really cloud your judgment to a point where you overlooked or ignored differences such as level of religiousness between you and him? Moreover, your parents should have considered these differences between you and him if they hadn’t done so before.
You love tattoos, he doesn’t. Aaaw, how cute. No seriously, who the hell cares. If you currently do not not have a tattoo on your body, who the hell cares if you both don’t see eye to eye on this. And tattoos are forbidden in Islam. They were for forbidden by the Messenger SAWS…not your husband. So, now you decide…do you care enough about the Prophet’sprohibitions or your own desires? Where do your priorities lie? Your life will jot be over if you don’t get tatted. And if your parents are against tattoos, chances are you wouldn’t get inked whilst living under their roof even if you weren’t married. Seriously, this tattoo argument or preference is about as serious as whether or not he prefers vanilla. You will not shrivel up and die if you give more priority to your marriage than hanging out with a bunch of dudes. You also won’t die if you opt to confine your tanks to the home and wear sleeves outside. Ab itni bhi garmi magi hai…you are not living in Pakistan where there is lack electricity for hours.
If this guy had absolutely no idea about your liberal lifestyle prior to marrying you, then I only fault him for not enquiring about these things. But if you and your parents knew fully well that he was more conservative…then I think you guys are more at fault for making a joke out of marriage and for making a game out this guy’s life and and that if his family’s.