One of my closest friends has been in a relationship with somebody for a few years, but after a years time, he will be moving away & she seems to be coping with it in a very strange way. She has become quite withdrawn and won’t socialise with our mutual friends much anymore as she says they remind her of him, as they were all friends, but she is continuing to see him. She has asked me what she should do about the relationship but really I don’t have a clue as to what to say and although I do try to be sympathetic, I struggling to emphasise with her.
Also, my other friends are confused as to why she is behaving in that way towards them and to be honest it doesn’t really make much sense to me either.
So what should I advise them, I would really like for them all not to fall out, as we are all really good friends, but I don’t know what to say to any of them?
You should never leave your friends over a guy. If her relationship has no future, she needs to stop seeing him and get herself back on track. You guys can have an intervention and talk to her about how you feel...tell her you do not want to lose her...that will help.
Thank you, she did know from the beginning, as we all did that it would have to end in this way. I will try to have a talk with her, I am reluctant to say anything right now as we all are so busy & stressed, & that may be cntributing to her behaviour. But I do think it is me that has to speak to her, as she has created this kind of brick wall between herself and the other girls. I guess I just feel a bit inadequate when it comes to how she is actually feeling in this situation.
i think she was very much attached to that guy thats why everything related to him is bothering her. in this case those mutual friends. mere khayal se tum ya baqi dost us ke saath araam se baat karo aur usay samjhao ke "jab woh tum se alag ho ke theek thak hai tou tum apna dil kyon jalati ho. jab ek cheez nahi mil sakti tou uske baare main pareshaan hoke khud ko kyon halkaan kar rahi ho...doston se milo, ghomon phiro takay is situation se bahar nikal sako...usko batao ke uski waja se doston ko hurt mat kare".
also if that guy has to leave after a few yrs time then why wait till then? tell her to end it now. plus it will be advisable if everyone acts normally in front of her and no one mentions him.
One of my closest friends has been in a relationship with somebody for a few years, but after a years time, he will be moving away & she seems to be coping with it in a very strange way. She has become quite withdrawn and won't socialise with our mutual friends much anymore as she says they remind her of him, as they were all friends, but she is continuing to see him. She has asked me what she should do about the relationship but really I don't have a clue as to what to say and although I do try to be sympathetic, I struggling to emphasise with her.
Also, my other friends are confused as to why she is behaving in that way towards them and to be honest it doesn't really make much sense to me either.
So what should I advise them, I would really like for them all not to fall out, as we are all really good friends, but I don't know what to say to any of them?
ur friend feel a space somewhere inside her and that can't be filled by anything. U R friend will not gonna laugh even if she wants too, not gonna enjoy any1's company nor gonna get socialise with others. She'll feel so lonely even if she's in accompany or many mutual friends or else. She'll come over to these all. Its matter of time and in fact only the time will gonna heal her wounds. She herself will gonn realize as well as gonna accept the reality. Now, she's surrounded with his thoughts.
As for her friends, i can only say that they shouldn't talk, do or act in such a way which reminds her of that relationship. Let her be alone somewhile she's be fine as time move on.
Thanks guys, I gave her a call & she genuinely sounded really happy & bubbly. We had a general chat about things as we normally do, and she seemed ok. We are going to lunch next week, so i may bring up our other friends depending on what the situation is like.
blessed2006, she asked my opinion at the beginning, and i told her exactly that then, that it probably wasn't a great thing to do. But obviously I can't force her to do anything, even if i think it is for her own good :) Hopefully she will be ok.
