Re: Conflicted: desire to please vs living your own life
If you guys have common friends of the opposite gender …and you meet them outside of the home…then you guys are still managing to get your “non-segregated” fix. If these friends are desi, it shouldn’t be hard for them to understand that in-laws prefer segregation in the home. You guys are still managing to get a thorough interaction outside the home. If they come to your home, they’d still appreciate the hospitality.
My dad has some friends who are coworkers and my mom is friends with their wives…and they know each other from before I was even born…so they go waaaay back. So these are all mutual friends of my parents. But even though my mom doesn’t feel uneasy interacting with the uncles…she still doesn’t feel a pressing desire …to “also” socialize simultaneously with the uncles cuz she’s closet to their wives and they do their own thing.
The other day I attendee a dawat held at restaurant. I was at a table with a friend whom I’ve known for years. I grew up with her husband…we went to the same junior high school uni. Heck we know each other from elementary school days and I have rapport with him. Even though I have known him longer than his wife, I didn’t feel the need to socialize with him simultaneously as well. It wasn’t a big deal. Besides there was segregation at the restaurant as well. Again, I just don’t see it as a big deal.