Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

AsSalaamo Alaikum,

I have come across an article series by the title of the thread a few times on Yahoo. I am always intrigued to read it, and sometimes, actually often I learn a few things that I personally did not know. So I figured, I might share here.

Here is the article from today, And I’ll update the thread often as I come across newer/more articles featured on Yahoo by that title.

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15 Flying Tips That’ll Keep You Sane This Summer

1. Think about your outfit for your airplane trip. Not how you look but how you will feel! People get on airplanes dressed in ripped shorts, flip-flops, and a tank top and then complain that they are freezing?!? Whenever I fly, I always have a scarf or jacket I can put on if I’m cold or use as a pillow.

2. If you’re traveling with a pet you might want to ask your vet about a light medication for your animal. We call it “doggy dope.” It will lessen the stress on your furry friend and you both will arrive at your destination a little less harried!

3. I know it may sound basic but wear socks or shoes when entering the airplane bathroom. You’d be shocked at the number of passengers who go into the bathroom in bare feet. Men don’t have the best aim even when they’re on the ground; you can be sure that in a small space and with rough air, the bathroom floor is not exactly germ-free!

4. Airline tickets used to be booked by professionals. Today consumers do it themselves online, with price being the only factor they consider. Big mistake! When booking online, you need to consider another important factor: the time you have between connecting flights. If you only have 45 minutes or less to connect to another flight, you’re basically flirting with a very stressful running-through-the-airport situation.

5. My favorite packing trick is to bring clothes that are old or you’re not crazy about and then just leave them behind during your trip. Your closet gets cleaned out and you have more room in your suitcase for purchases. And as an added bonus, if you’re traveling to a developing country, you can give those items away! Now you’re thinking: “Lovely… you’re giving dirty old clothes away?!” That doesn’t have to be the case. Lots of times you buy something and it just doesn’t fit perfectly or it’s not your color. So it sits unworn in your closet. Why not just pack it, wear it, and give it away to someone who can use it? I once gave this green velvet shirt from the Gap to a woman in Morocco. She was so happy you’d have thought I’d given her gold!

6. Flight attendants are cheap dates. Say a passenger brings chocolate for the flight crew. That costs the passenger, what, maybe just a couple of bucks? And yet we’re thanking that passenger as profusely as that Moroccan woman I gave my shirt to. Next thing you know, that passenger gets a free headset or a free drink. It’s actually funny because it can be something so small and yet we bend over backwards with “thank yous.” It’s just nice to be thought of!

7. On the same thoughtfulness note, the best new trend I’ve seen is the preemptive baby apologies. I was on a flight a few months when I saw a passenger with a baby putting little bags of candy on the seats around her. The bags had a note attached that read: “Hi, my name is Jordan and I’m five months old. Sometime during the flight I may get hungry or fed up with sitting on my mom’s lap. So I may cry a bit. Just know that my parents are going to do everything they can to keep me happy and quiet so I don’t bother you!”

8. Once most of the people are boarded, start looking around the plane to see which seats are empty. Once everyone is on board you’re allowed to move around your cabin. But you have to be fast because someone else is probably eyeing that aisle seat! And remember you can always move toward the back of the plane. I’m always amazed how people will stay jammed together in the front of the airplane while the back is empty. They just never looked?

9. Ask for or book the exit row seats because you will most likely have more room. But what most people don’t know is that it is always colder by the doors and window exits (much colder), so dress appropriately (See #1)!

10. If you have any special dietary needs, you should plan ahead. People get used to their dietary routines at home and are shocked when we don’t have a vegan, gluten-free option on our Food for Sale menu.

11. For heaven’s sake, put any crucial item in your CARRY-ON bag. You would not believe the important items people put in their checked baggage: diapers, medication, inhalers. These are things you NEED so you NEED to have them on the airplane with you!

12. Book the first flight of the day. Yes, you have to wake up really early. But the morning flights have a huge advantage because the airplane is already there. You don’t have to worry about delays or weather in some other city where your plane is flying in from.

13. It’s also a good idea to have a printed copy of your driver’s license and passport inside your suitcase in case your carry-on is lost or stolen. And for the ultra-scary event like an armed robbery or fire where your suitcase and carry-on is lost, I scan my ID, passport, and travelers checks and e-mail copies to myself. This way, you can go to any computer and print a copy of your documents.

14. As you probably know, everyone must take off their shoes in the airport security line. You may want to think of how many people are traipsing though the metal detector barefoot — and what you may catch in the process. I suggest wearing socks!

15. And lastly: for goodness’ sake, don’t wear a lot of jewelry, belts, chains, or boots you can’t quickly take off. The people behind you in security will give you the stink eye!

Happy flying,

Betty

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Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

great tips!!
I especially like #7.
And I can't believe that people actually go in to those bathrooms without shoes!!!! ewwwww!!!

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

^I go in just my socks sometimes :blush:

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

Number 12 is hard to follow, early flights are cheaper but no...

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

A lot of these are very good tips, and something you realize if you travel frequently enough :hehe:

I still don’t understand the very well dressed up people travelling, with their jewellery and fancy strappy shoes and tank tops, and no hoodie in sight. Some airlines have a tendency to keep their plane super cold, and that flimsy blanket they give you isn’t going to help much at all. Like just keep your jewellery in your purse, along with your watches and big buckled belt! I don’t wanna be standing in line to pass through the metal detector. :mad: Same goes for the laptop. Take it out ASAP so you can put it in the tray instead of standing at the really tiny table trying to hurriedly zip out the laptop.

#6 is really really important lol. I’ve heard of people chumming up with attendants, and in turn they treat you really nice as well. Obviously don’t be obnoxious and follow them around.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

I have a "travel" shawl. I take it with me ALWAYS! It's my blanket on flights and in hotels or trains (last one is a long story).

And as for being prepared for the security check line - I take out all electronics, shoes, jacket and belt, etc. well in advance of my turn in line. Some people look at me funny (like I'm doing a strip show) but being prepared for security makes them wave me through unlike the people who go through the scanner five times because they've forgotten to take something off.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

as someone who has to fly at least twice a month - adding to the list:

  1. check in as early as possible - typically 23 hrs and 59 mins prior to flying - this gets you earlier boarding zones.. well as early as your ticket class will permit. the earlier you board, the easier you can stash your carry-on near you and not 10 rows behind as will happen on every flight.

  2. never smile at TSA people, they are all worse than scum. yell “**** you” at them with your eyes as much as possible. puts you in a happy frame of mind to fly as you get done with their molestation procedures.

  3. carry an empty water bottle. fill it at the gate. enjoy your water anytime without relying on the stewardess. no matter how many chocolates you bring the flight attendants, there are babies, old people, needy and chatty morons scattered all thru the cabin.

  4. noise-canceling headphones. totally worth it.

  5. best flights - redeye. best thing to do on a flight - sleep. everything else is sub-optimal.

  6. exit row window seats get cold… around your feet and ankles. very annoying and hard to cover up. pick aisle or middle over window on this row.

  7. most airports dont serve food beyond 9 pm. :teary1: carry food. carry snacks.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

Isn’t early check in, like exactly 24 hours before, also important so you can pick your own seats? Like don’t check in at the airport, and then not get the 3 seats together that you need because you’re a family, and then ask to switch seats with me. Not my fault you forgot to do an early check in :snooty:

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

most airlines let you pick seats right when you purchase tix rather than at check in. and then there are some like southwest where there are no assigned seats, you get in and grab whatever you like.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

Picking seats - if you are traveling with other people. - select seats when you buy your tickets. If you are traveling with people, but didn't buy tickets together, call the airline and see if they will assign you seats together.

If you are traveling by yourself - pick your seats when you Web check-in. This latter strategy usually works for short flights and depending how "full" the plane is - you. Can potentially get the entire row to yourself.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

From my experience, not anymore. Short haul flights, no picking seats at all, and long haul/international, only when check in allowed 24 hours earlier. There are maybe 1 or 2 airlines that allow you to pick seats when you book the ticket. In any case, if there is a family, that should be a tip they should follow all the time, reserve your seats ASAP :vivo:

Couple of corrections from a frequent flyer.

  1. No matter how empty the plane is, they won't allow you to switch seats before the plane gets to the cruising altitude. This is because in an empty plane, they assign you seats so the collective weight of all the passengers is well distributed. This helps in smooth take off. Landing is not important as the weight of the fuel is gone.

Also, people like front side of the plane as it saves you time when deboarding the plane.

  1. Exit row seats may have more leg room, but the backs don't always lean backward, so be careful. If you are average height and it's a long journey, you are better off in a seat that could lean back. Some exit row seats do lean back, do check with the counter person before jumping on those seats.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

Most airlines allow you to choose your seats right after you buy the ticket. You just need to login to their website, identify yourself and then pick your preferred seats. Some budget and kanjoos airlines like Air Transat ask for additional fee to choose your seat.

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

you can also find this info on seat guru app..

Re: Confessions of a Fed Up Flight Attendant

I wish some PIA or other Pakistani airline flight attendant would keep a blog. Especially if they fly the gulf routes. So much hilarity will ensue.