The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, “Cross you arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand.”
The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, “Try saying things like, I see", Yes, go onandI understand. How did you feel about that?" The new priest practices, saying these phrases. The old priest says, "Now, dont you think thats a little better than slapping your knee and saying No shhit?!? What happened next?`”
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hehehe
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hahahah :D
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ow lol 
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Hahaha, good one.
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During a recent publicity outing, Hillary sneaked off to visit a professional--fortune teller of some local repute.
**
*In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic woman delivered grave news.
*
**"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Mrs. Clinton, your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
*Visibly shaken......Hillary stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. *
She met the fortune teller's serious gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her most troubling question. "Will I be acquitted?"
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hahaaaaaa
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***Guilty
Two judges were each arrested on speeding charges. When they Arrived in court on the appointed day, no one was there, so Instead of wasting time waiting around they decided to try Each other.
One took the stand and the other said, "How do you plead?"
"Guilty."
"That'll be fifty dollars and a warning from the court." The two judges shook hands and changed places.
"How do you plead?" asked the judge.
"Guilty."
The judge reflected for a moment, and said, "These reckless Driving cases are becoming all too common of late. In fact, This is the second such incident in the last fifteen minutes. That will be two hundred dollars and ten days in jail."***
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**A famous admiral and an equally famous general were fishing together when a sudden squall came up.
When it died down both eminent warriors were struggling **
**helplessly in the water.
The admiral floundered his way back to the boat and **
**pulled himself painfully in.
Then he fished out the general, using an oar.
Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found I can't swim I'd be disgraced.
"Don't worry," the general said. "Your secret is safe. I'd hate to have my men find out I can't walk on water."**
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:D