My mates dad died last week. They are more like sisters than friends. It’s tough being far from them and not being able to be there in their time of need so i am trying my best to give them ‘long distance support’. Like ring every so often, give them comfort, listen to them out and stuff. I thought i’d buy some condolence cards and pop them in the post..just something to remind them i care. But am in two minds. Are they a good idea? You know how desis react to cards ? So far i’ve had stop trying to be a gauri, or your sending a card when their dads died :shockhorrorfall: and the errrr oks too. So i’m in twenty minds about sending them. They’re thoughtful, no ? I can’t put you in the place of someone bereaved but would you mind recieving one if anything did ever happen.
Re: Condolence cards and desis
If you send a card and write a small note to tell them how sad / sorry you are and perhaps something to say you are thinking of them etc to make it more personal
Re: Condolence cards and desis
Desis do write condolence letters, I was once dictated to write for someone who couldn't write her self. Definitely not the kind of text you'd enjoy writing. I wouldn't be able to make up sentences on my own, if I were to write about someone I loved though. Phone calls, letters, cards all are okay, if you care.
Re: Condolence cards and desis
We always send condolence cards to our relatives. Never heard anyone dying out of shock when receiving it.
Re: Condolence cards and desis
Each to his own but things like cards or a bouquet of flowers just seems really superficial and western to me.
What they need is a shoulder to cry on, a hug, prayers, help with the funeral and burial arrangements etc.
If God forbid my loved ones were to pass away the last thing I'd be bothered about is a pretty little card, it's too impersonal.
Re: Condolence cards and desis
Ranjhan, as superficial as it may seem ^^, how else are u suppose to give them ur shulder when ure thousands of miles away. its not easy, but how else r u suppose to let them know. Personally, i dotn see anything wrong with a card n flowers with a personal handwritten letter of kind words in their difficult time. I wouldnt shun the person, to me it would be a lil extra effort.
Re: Condolence cards and desis
A hand written card or letter brings warmth and the feeling of closeness with it. For those of us who are pardesis, we know how much a letter brings with it despite the fast comfort of emails and chats... it is never wrong to let ones you care about know that they are constantly in your prayers and thoughts with a card or letter. Go for it, the pen will be smooth when you let your true emotions script their way.