Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

[Being_Human]

I am confused whether the difference with which we treat men and women on so many levels, are result of the way we have been conditioned since our birth OR we truly feel they can’t be compared on those levels?.

I am of the opinion that men and women are not equal for the very basic reason that they are two different entities n different on so many levels i.e emotional, physical, intellectual, etc. So there is no question of them being treated the same way or on the same level because with all the above difference in place, the difference in our appraoch for them comes into place. Having said that, doesnt mean we can’t treat both with respect and give them their rights.

I believe I am an educated and aware person; intellectually, mentally and emotionaly. I understand there are things men can do, women can’t and vice versa. But neither has more importance over the other.

Coming back to what i had originally in mind :D. What striked me today was that even after being intellectually and mentally aware even then at times I am inclined to treat both male and female differently EVEN when there is no reason for it.

For example: A guy (Prospect) is at a restaurant/club and a belly dancer comes upto him and he gets dancing with her, though not clinging to her or anything like that. My Reaction: 1) Hmm LOLZ. 2) Opsie! so he is not as straight as i may have thought. 3) All guys are the same. 4) He looks cute, he sure is a confident guy and seems like fun.

Now If it was a male looking at prospect’s video and she was going along doing the same, i am sure his reaction would be whole lot different. And not even his but if i were to judge a girl doing the same i would be alot harsher towards her then i was towards this guy.

Why is it like that? I am the only one who feels this and that you guys would feel the same no matter what gender the person is from?.

Please share your thoughts.

[NaMaan]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

We can all act holy and say that no we don't discriminate based on gender , but we do sometime . Like you said in your opening paragraph that we are different , so yea in fact we ARE different . We think different , we act different , we judge different . I am not really sure if even we can help it .

[hareem01]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

It's not just about two genders, you'd react differently each time to each situation depending on the factors, motives and your relation to the stimuli.

[IceSoul]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

You are right, it's because of our conditioning. We are brought up to believe that women are inferior. And what really amazes me is that our mothers never attempt to change our mindsets, seeing as children are most influenced by their mothers and all mothers are female lol :p

[diwana]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

Fundamental problem is that some people think equality means similarity.

Men and women are different.

They are equal but not similar.

P.S. I am not talking about physically. :)

[Being_Human]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@NaMaan

We can all act holy and say that no we don't discriminate based on gender , but we do sometime . Like you said in your opening paragraph that we are different , so yea in fact we ARE different . We think different , we act different , we judge different . I am not really sure if even we can help it .

Well Said.

So if i may ask you, what would be your reaction if you saw your potential prospect in such a video behaving the way i described in my post? Please be honest if you plan to answer this.

@hareem01

It's not just about two genders, you'd react differently each time to each situation depending on the factors, motives and your relation to the stimuli.

I agree. But what if the situation, factors, motives and even relation are same :). You are a girl so if i may ask you the same question that i asked a male above. What would be your reaction?.

@IceSoul

You are right, it's because of our conditioning. We are brought up to believe that women are inferior. And what really amazes me is that our mothers never attempt to change our mindsets, seeing as children are most influenced by their mothers and all mothers are female lol :p

I know eh. I wonder about it all the time :p. Its being going on from generation to generation and i suppose we are yet to be gifted by a generation which will take a step and put an end to this mindset.

@diwana

Fundamental problem is that some people think equality means similarity.

Men and women are different.

They are equal but not similar.

P.S. I am not talking about physically. :)

No. Atleast i understand the difference between being different but not necessairly being not equal. I still say that both are not equal but NOT saying males score higher or that females do. Just like you can't say apples and mangoes are equal same goes for them. Depending on their different roles in life they may score higher than the other on different levels.

[Faris_Udeen]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@Being_Human

No. Atleast i understand the difference between being different but not necessairly being not equal. I still say that both are not equal but NOT saying males score higher or that females do. Just like you can’t say apples and mangoes are equal same goes for them. Depending on their different roles in life they may score higher than the other on different levels.

I agree with you. :k:

[diwana]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@Being_Human

............ No. Atleast i understand the difference between being different but not necessairly being not equal. I still say that both are not equal but NOT saying males score higher or that females do. Just like you can't say apples and mangoes are equal same goes for them. Depending on their different roles in life they may score higher than the other on different levels.

My post was not directed to 'you'.

It was a general comment on those who think men and women should not only be considered equal but in order to show the equality they should be able to do similar acts.

Good to know you understand the difference.

[princessjojo]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

They may have different roles and they may not be 'equal'.

but

For ME, there is absolutely no discrimination between the expectation of morality from either gender.

I would discourage my brother from marrying a girl who dances with a male belly dancer (if they exist) as much as I would discourage my sister from marrying a guy who dances with a female belly dancer. And yes, I'm considered a radical (in a negative way) by desis who get familiar with my thought process. My mom is afraid of putting me through an arranged marriage. lol.

I can never condone a guys flirtatious ways just because 'it's a man's nature' more than I will condone a female's. But that's just me and the majority is different.

[princessjojo]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@IceSoul

You are right, it's because of our conditioning. We are brought up to believe that women are inferior. And what really amazes me is that our mothers never attempt to change our mindsets, seeing as children are most influenced by their mothers and all mothers are female lol :p

I agree. It's often the mothers. :o

[diwana]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

They may have different roles and they may not be 'equal'.

but

For ME, there is absolutely no discrimination between the expectation of morality from either gender.

I would discourage my brother from marrying a girl who dances with a male belly dancer (if they exist) as much as I would discourage my sister from marrying a guy who dances with a female belly dancer. And yes, I'm considered a radical (in a negative way) by desis who get familiar with my thought process. My mom is afraid of putting me through an arranged marriage. lol.

I can never condone a guys flirtatious ways just because 'it's a man's nature' more than I will condone a female's. But that's just me and the majority is different.

You so radical.....

So disappointed in you. J/K :D

[princessjojo]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

^I also believe that marital rape is not a myth. :D

[diwana]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

^ lol....Good one.

[IceSoul]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

^ lol....Good one.

No, seriously, it's real.

[NaMaan]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@Being_Human

Well Said. So if i may ask you, what would be your reaction if you saw your potential prospect in such a video behaving the way i described in my post? Please be honest if you plan to answer this.

Well jo meri herkatain haan . . . I think I'll get some mooti taazi khatoon who can't dance . :D

[Maham]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

Well jo meri herkatain haan . . . I think I'll get some mooti taazi khatoon who can't dance . :D

Lolz. What is that suppose to mean?! :p. Huh. Chalo Shabash don't dodge the question.

Btw, i am really curious to know woh kaun c herkatain hain ;).

As for me, i think i suffer from same conditioning. I would totally react differently if it was a girl doing the same. Sad but that's the truth :(.

[NaMaan]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

Lolz. What is that suppose to mean?! :p. Huh. Chalo Shabash don't dodge the question.

Btw, i am really curious to know woh kaun c herkatain hain ;).

As for me, i think i suffer from same conditioning. I would totally react differently if it was a girl doing the same. Sad but that's the truth :(.

A reason I avoid Lahorniyaan . . . I heard they all are mooti taziyaan :D

Btw I'll be perfectly fine if you can prove me wrong :p

[Maham]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

A reason I avoid Lahorniyaan . . . I heard they all are mooti taziyaan :D

Btw I'll be perfectly fine if you can prove me wrong :p

Yes i am a Lahori n moti tazi :D If that is what you wanted to know ;). Now tell me how does that help your case?! Im lost on that.

You still didnt answer the question :P kaun c herkaten buddy :D

[NaMaan]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

@Maham

Yes i am a Lahori n moti tazi If that is what you wanted to know ;). Now tell me how does that help your case?! Im lost on that.

You still didnt answer the question kaun c herkaten buddy

Oh come on its a public forum , I can’t be bashing myself here out in open .

[Maham]

Re: Conditioning? Need your thoughts.

Insaan ko honest hona chahiye :D lolz.