Computer Troubleshooting

If a packet hits a pocket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the mem’ry makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And you data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn’t hash,
Then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s going to crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot it and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I’m a poet, your system’s gonna hang!

      When the copy of your floppies getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
When you have to flash your memory and try to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to call your Mom!

Re: Computer Troubleshooting

** WHERE AM I?**

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communication equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window.

The sign said "WHERE AM I ?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.' The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and determine the course to steer to SEATAC (SeattleTacoma) airport and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."