I have a feeling that its a repost, but who cares any way 
Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
The definition of an upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday.
The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.
User error: replace user and press any key to continue.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Never say “OOPS!” always say “Ah, Interesting!”