I hear this phrase alot… “we want a boy/girl to complete our family”…
and while I’m of the opinion that praise of one thing does not automatically negate the opposite, for some reason this irks me.
Are families with only boys or girls considered incomplete?
PS, I’m not pickign on anyone in particular, and I know its not limited exclusively to desis…so its not a desi-bashing thread!
Re: "completing" the family
So are you asking how people on the forum feel about this..?
Yeah people say this all the time.I have heard it and whatever makes them happy or works for their family dynamics.
To me,'completion of family' only means when you are done having the number of kids you want no matter girls or boys.
My family will be complete or I will consider it complete when my 2 yo will have a sibling,brother or sister, does not matter.
Also I feel I am not the right person to answer this.When one has years of troubles while trying to concieve,only one is enough to make you feel like a complete family.
:)
Re: "completing" the family
Lol, right after I hit submit I realized it's a topic thats been done to death (about gender selection). :-/
Re: "completing" the family
I hear this phrase a lot too lately. But mostly it were others who say it to couples who had a boy first and then a girl is born or vice versa.
The way it sounds to me is: you dont need any more kids.
Re: "completing" the family
Yeah its definitely not limited to desis. I have a friend who just found out she is pregnant .. she has a son.. she is a gori.. and want a daughter now to complete the family. She went through years of infertility treatments... umm i think 6-8 years .. so I understand her wish that she really wants both a boy and a girl. I have a son so I would love to have a daughter.. If I had a daughter I would've want a son. I don't think there is any harm in hoping or wishing something you want. You should be thankful to Allah for whatever he gives you though. Thankful for a healthy baby. Simply wishing, I see nothing wrong with that. I wish to win a lottery some day.. umm I'll thank Allah if I do.. if not.. oh well.. Whatever I have is perfectly fine too :D
Re: "completing" the family
The family is now complete is a figure of speach for many. People assume if you have a boy the. A girl or vice versa then you are done. I had the same repeated statement for relatives when i had my daughter after 2 boys. I thought the same about myself, that i am done and here i am pregnant again! We plan and Allah plans too
Re: "completing" the family
I think my definition will be when I am done having the number of kids that I wanted... 2 it is! 2 boys or 1 of each, doesnt matter!
and honestly its very natural to want both genders... boy is Allah ki naimat, a girl is Allah ki rehmat.. might as well have both :-)