This has happened to me at my own wedding! By my first cousin who I'm actually very close to and would least expect it from! She helped me buy all my wedding suits n everything but when the wedding came closer she turned into a bridezilla and it wasn't even her wedding!
She actually had an outfit made that was the same as my wedding day outfit!! I was so stressed about it and pissed off it was so upsetting but in the end the whole family were so angry at her they just ignored her in the whole wedding! She even copied my shoes which took me months to find :(
The point is people will point and laugh or just assume she's a newly wed bride but no one will ever mistake her for the bride. And many people crave attention and can't even let brides have that one special day, it's a complex that people have no point trying to fight it!
Wow :(.
I don't get why she'd spend all that money to get something that neither set her apart from you nor gained her approval. Maybe she wanted to show how tight she was with the bride? :/ I get that your family would be upset, but how did her own family react?
This is what a close family member did on her brother's wedding.
She made a red..yes red, brand new wedding outfit (lengha) by Karma and wore it on the baraat day, with all the works; fancy hairstyle, joomar, full jewellery, the full works. I gasped and gasped in horror when I saw her.
The bride made her own entrance in her very own red Karma bridal outfit .. it was so very awkward.
Throughout the evening, the groom's sister took off her jewels, took down her hair, wiped off some of the makeup. Apparently she got the message.
Another wedding I attended, it was the walima function in Texas.
Groom is an only son with 6 sisters.Bride enters wearing her bridal peshwaaz. Beside her were all her nands, wearing the exact same outfit. One SIL was wearing the exact same colour as the bride.. Ouch!
^OMG!!!!!!! Yikes, that's just bizaaaaaare, especially the second story. Did the nandain and bride arrange for such a coordination if everyone was wearing the same exact color? I dunno. The woman in the first eventually shed the makeup and jewelry so maybe she just had poor judgment, but with some you do wonder if they have other motives.
At a recent wedding, SIL dressed in red with all decked out hair, makeup, and jewelry. The bride wore Green and looked amazing!!! We all knew who the bride was as she had her dupatta on her head and was on the stage. i think SIL did have her motives though because she kept putting her dupatta on her head and taking pictures… it made some of the family feel awkward. Some joked with her and said, "is it your shaadi?" but this encouraged her as she became happy and said she looked like a dulhaan.
an only son with 6 sisters.Bride enters wearing her bridal peshwaaz. Beside her were all her nands, wearing the exact same outfit. One SIL was wearing the exact same colour as the bride.. Ouch!
This looks like nands trying to get attention. Massively.
What comes to mind is the thread in the Fashion forum a couple months back where a guppan had doubts that the dress she bought for her mehndi would outdo the bride and so she got multiple opinions as she had consideration for the girl whose mehndi she was attending. I know we can't tell others to wear, but the individual should have regard for the occasion and the bride. Most of the examples I've seen have been positive. I attended an engagement where the bride did not wear a teeka or chooriyan. Her cousin wore teeka, choker, and chooriyan but she did not look more dressed up than the bride because she kept the makeup toned down and her clothes weren 't as blinged out. Sometimes people will accentuate everything from their hair to their feet and the overall look is not cohesive. Plus they can end up making guests feel awkward and nobody wants that on such a special occasion.
OMG!!!! Some of the things are downright mean and total premeditated attempts to steal the limelight from the dulhan. A dulhan is a dulhan but a general rule should be one head accessory per event. If you are wearing a teeka, stay away from the jhoomer.
Indigo- you kind of seem just a tiny bit miffed by sgc's suggestion so how do you think that girl will react once you hint that her look may be OTT. Perhaps it is a coversation to be had when she isn't dressed to the nines, and might actually consider your opinion instead of being offended by it.
Moodie, I admit I was miffed, but not at her suggestion. The reason being that I had been contemplating, prior to opening the thread, that I'd try to talk to my cousin. What I was miffed at was that it seemed from Sgc's tone that she doubted my intentions that I am being mean, that maybe I'm only focused on the symptoms which are the drastic looks. I have been thinking about what made her do this and also about how to talk to her if the opportunity comes up. So, no, I'm not only stuck on the symptom. Yes, I am aware that making any suggestions when she's already decked out won't be the best time, unless she asks for an opinion. I know that our families do share the clothes to be worn prior to getting dressed so that would be a better time to suggest anything. And if you add a compliment in your suggestion, it tends to go better. Plus it's not unusual to seek opinions during that time, like my aunt or someone might bring two different outfits and ask which of the two will be better, stuff like that. Again, if the opportunity arises, if not I will keep quiet. Maybe I'm unnecessarily thinking too much and she may even dress just right next time.
Honestly–I was one of those, I guess you could say.
I wore my wedding lengha to my devar’s wedding (the baraat) six months after my own wedding…I had always heard that it’s appropriate to wear your own wedding outfit to a relatives/inlaws wedding, and it was encouraged, so I figured it was OK. I think I had even asked my devrani too if it was OK and she said it was fine.
Except my wedding outfit was RIDICULOUSLY heavy. The fact that as a bride I didnt really need to move and had lots of help if I did, had escaped me when I decided to wear it again. My hair and makeup were appropriate but I wore my wedding jewelry–jhumar, teeka, choker, necklace, pajangla–too because with such a heavy outfit, anything else would have looked…so little.
TBH while I guess I looked nice, I felt totally ridiculous and I’m sure I looked like a total dumbass walking around in my lengha (also, it was 6" too long and the zipper on my kameez had broke when someone tried to zip it up-ahem). Added to that, my jethanis wore red and I stuck out even more.
I know my intentions weren’t to out-do her, and at the time I was encouraged and thought it was OK, but I can imagine how other people must have thought of me. I still cringe when I think about it but at the time I didn’t really have any nice jahez clothes (they were all unstithced sarees or really really boring/semi casual wear)…so…umm…dunno what the point was but yeah. :sid:
On the flip side, at my own wedding my in laws all wore red but I thought it was cute (my baraat dress was hot pink).
Sara, at least you asked your devrani. The reason I question if there's a desire for competition is because I have heard and seen her compete over things like jewelry, length of hair and nails, once even with a complete stranger. If it were not for these incidents, I probably wouldn't have this doubt.
^You mentioned that she typically dresses in a more elegant and classic style and has only recently begun dressing OTT. Is it possible that some happened in her personal life recently that is making her feel insecure? Maybe someone made a negative comment about how she dresses?
I don't get why she'd spend all that money to get something that neither set her apart from you nor gained her approval. Maybe she wanted to show how tight she was with the bride? :/ I get that your family would be upset, but how did her own family react?
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Well to put it in simple terms she was dying to get married herself lol she made it clear she was out to get rishta in the wedding and her mother supported her in all this! As it turned out no one appreciated what she had done and she got no rishtas coz everyone thought she was a newly married bride!
I never knew such simple things can create such major issues but then I haven't been in the west for so long.
The majority of the weddings or in fact all the weddings that I have attended in my life other then my own had been typical Pakistani weddings back home in Pakistan. Over there nobody cares about all these things, people generally are just thinking about getting dressed their best as much as possible. Close relatives like siblings, cousins are always expected to dress OTT(a term I get to know in this thread in the perspective of wedding clothes). It's not uncommon over there for close relatives to even wear their own wedding outfit as Sara has also mentioned.
And in the busy wedding seasons it's inevitable that there will be couple of newlyweds present in every wedding who apparently will be all decked up (and I mean it sarcastically as it seems a big deal over here). Every one knows who the real bride is any ways so why does it even matters to what others are wearing.
I myself is thinking of getting a red Gharara made for my brother's up coming wedding Insha Allah as he's one of the dearest person in my whole life and it's a tradition in my family to wear red for Baraat.
And guys never have such issues, the shahbala most of the times wears the same outfit as the groom minus the kullah and sehra. The brothers and cousins try to match their outfits similar to the groom and nobody raises an eyebrow. We women just need some reason or other to judge others no matter how silly it is
I don't think desi girls get a lot of chances to wear the clothes we buy and most of the time when we do buy lenghas we get ones that are heavy because who wears the simple stuff which is for the most part worn at home or just doing casual things. But in the west we don't wear the casual stuff at home or just going out to get the groceries.
I think a lot of times we are a encouraged by parents or someone else to get all dressed up.
In Sara's case, she was recently married and was a new bride so i've seen that a lot where a newly married girl would wear her wedding outfit again for a wedding she might be attending.
During my brother's wedding, I did my hair at the same hairstylist as my sis-in-law and she was fine with it. Obviously she wear the heavy bridal outfit but when would I get the chance to get my hair all done special since I don't travel back every year.
I can't imagine any girl wanting to intentionally out do the bride. That's just ridiculous. There might be women that want to show how close they are with the bride like they're besties or something.
Wearing the dupatta on the head might be a bit too much and uncomfortable too. Gosh men have it so much easier and more boring.
Indigo don't let this small issue effect your friendship with this girl. You look like you are very close. She might be just showing that you two are besties and have the same stellar taste in clothes and heels.
I think there's always a wedding where someone tries to do this... I just smile and brush it off.
The fact that someone needs to deck themselves out that much to the point where guests are confused is embarrassment enough.
I was expecting this to happen at my own wedding as I like simple things, I'm not into gaudy jewelry or heavy makeup looks. I hate glitter and all that shiny stuff too. There was an odd aunty and some girls who looked crazy decked out, but honestly I didn't care about all that. I was enjoying my time with my hubby and our families. I could care less that some aunty was probably wearing her old wedding dress lol.
Lollzzz IndiGo Rain you made me remind of one wedding i attended in Dubai and the Dulha’s sis was the exactly pisture you described above.. i couldnt stop laughing when she was heavily loaded with jewellery make up red heavy lehnga more than her dulhan bhabi
Wow, women can be cray. The only time I've seen this (as an extreme, everyone I know overdresses at weddings) is when my cousins Mamu got married years ago. On their wedding day, MY mamu turned up with his newly wed wife in their wedidng outfits and sat down on stage next to the bride and groom. Was kinda mean as well cos their outfits were a lot more blingier/expensive than the couple actually getting married, and they basically showed them up a bit. No one really made anything of it afterwards though :/
I've been to plenty of wedding where the brides/groom's sisters are dressed like christmas trees, tbh just looks a little desperate and attention seeking to most people. If anyone did that at my wedding, I'd get my brother to be a bouncer and chuck em out :D
I really want to wear my wedding jewellery again. I haven't worn it for the last three years cz I haven't been to any weddings. If I get a chance to go to a relative's wedding I am gonna wear it all, dnt care what anyone thinks :p
