My generation of cousins has 5 of us…3 of us all around 21 one 20 and one 19.
now my 20 year old cousin who lives in america just got nikkafied, my other cousin who is 21 in the same community said her mum is now going crazy with worry and envy that she got hitched first.
i asked my mum if she was feeling worried because my younger cousin got married she said oh no no ( but im thinking she is now) as she has upped the tempo on searching ( i have to go to like a pary/dawat every weekend now)
anyway so does this happen with you guys? once one girl gets married the rest are in a race to be the next.
I don't think it is so much a race. Parents have worries and obligations hence why they may worry more, especially when it comes to girls. Plus finding a decent can take ages, sometimes even years. I guess parents, when they see others of the same age as there children get married, they seem to realise more so than ever that their child could also be approaching that age. Whereas before they may not have been worried or bothered.
One of my friends did not want to get married in her early 20's even though she had plenty of rishtay at the time, now she is in her late 20's and her mum has been looking for 3 years nearly.
thanks to ALLAH both of my parents are not. whereas in my family few of my cousin got married at the age of 17-19.
but i see them all messed up. they cant even take care of themselves whereas taking care of their husband is a huge think. and they totally neglect their in-laws, which hurts me more than anything.
these gals only had their grade 12, and they think of themselves as some Superhuman cuz of their husbands. whereas who ever their husbands are is it cuz their parents invest money-prayers on to their husbands.
thats is my core focus is to work, and understand my existence and then organise a way to make it atleast better for the ppl in my surroundings.
I got engaged and then just two weeks later, my aunt announced the engagement of my cousin, who is around my age...she got a few rishtas at a wedding, and my aunt told my mother about one of them who was in the U.S.
But then the minute I got engaged, she finalized a completely different rishta in a hurry, saying that she didn't go for the other guy because she gets nervous when people try to rush you. I didn't get her point though since she got both rishtas at the same time and finalized this one within two months. I don't know if its just me, but that is just awfully quick in my opinion.
It's absurd to base a decision regarding** your whole life** (marriage) on "competition". The competition might be over once the nikkah papers are signed..........but what if your partner turns out to be a jerk/loser and the marriage is incompatible? Maybe then...one would wish that they focused more on getting a good match as opposed to competing. Desi mentality sometimes....UFF!