hi guys.i have a problem.a serious problem,thats been going on for a very long time.in fact,its been 8 yrs,almost.the thing is i have zero interest in my in laws.they are good people,we never had any fights or anything.i just dont know what to say to them.my mil is illiterate and although there is nothing wrong with it,her world is just very small.how many times can i listen to her,talking about her village,her daughter’s problems with her in laws,mehngai in pakistan etc etc.
and the thing is,she has no idea/interest in my life.she wont ask for anything other than how am i and the kids.i sometimes i have to tell myself,forcefully,about my life just to fill up the gaps in conversation.
my fil is an old fashioned guy who doesnt like to talk to much with women,in general.the main problem is my husband(isnt there always,)he is always asking me to spend more time with them on the phone/skype etc etc.
i have 4 sis in laws and i get along very fine with all of them.they are all pretty easy going and simple.so with them,i talk quite easily.but the problem is MIL.
seriously people,tell me.does anybody else have this issue?are you struggling with communication with in laws?
sorry for not writing properly.i am rather confused at the moment.
The next time you're on the phone with your MIL........ask her a thousand questions. Ask about her health, what medications she's taking, how often she's taking them, the latest fashion in pakistan, which she likes best...lambi kameezain or choti kameezain, ask about various relatives, ask after their health and their children, ask about her daughter's in-law issues.......and if that's a favorite topic....ask her questions galore about that....who said what to whom...who did what to whom....offer her suggestions....ask about any good dramas on TV....and even if you've never heard of them....ask her to summarzie each drama one by one.
^^^Basically talk to your MIL for sooooooooooooooooo long that your husband gets annoyed. When he asks, "Where's dinner honey?" Tell him to shush up cuz you're talking to his mom. When he wants to be affectionate....push him away and stay glued to that phone. Pay no attention to him...just keep on talking to your MIL. Don't do any chores around the house. Heck ...don't even sleep with him. Tell him you're too exhausted from talking on the phone.
And then maybe he'll tone down his expectations :)
hi guys.i have a problem.a serious problem,thats been going on for a very long time.in fact,its been 8 yrs,almost.the thing is i have zero interest in my in laws.they are good people,we never had any fights or anything.i just dont know what to say to them.my mil is illiterate and although there is nothing wrong with it,her world is just very small.how many times can i listen to her,talking about her village,her daughter's problems with her in laws,mehngai in pakistan etc etc.
and the thing is,she has no idea/interest in my life.she wont ask for anything other than how am i and the kids.i sometimes i have to tell myself,forcefully,about my life just to fill up the gaps in conversation.
my fil is an old fashioned guy who doesnt like to talk to much with women,in general.the main problem is my husband(isnt there always,)he is always asking me to spend more time with them on the phone/skype etc etc.
i have 4 sis in laws and i get along very fine with all of them.they are all pretty easy going and simple.so with them,i talk quite easily.but the problem is MIL.
seriously people,tell me.does anybody else have this issue?are you struggling with communication with in laws?
sorry for not writing properly.i am rather confused at the moment.
Make an effort. There doesn't have to be an commonalities, just a desire.
The problem seems to be with you, not your MIL or FIL, imo. Follow RV's advice, minus the sleeping bit - I wouldn't recommend that. I think RV just got carried away a bit. :)
good question, seriously and im glad you asked instead of jumping at me. the simple answer is no. the real answer is rather a complicated one . if i put that here it may become somewhat an irrelevant post. so later on i should put down some clarifying remarks
Is there a reason you're always so rude to girls on here?
I think your'e just feeling a bit awkward about talking to her about things you have no interest in.
Sometimes we have to do things we don't like to make someone else happy. Its a part of life and growing up. As kids, we get to walk away from things we don't like because we're kids and we don't know better. As adults, you don't have that option.
If she is a nice person and doesn't cause problems in your marriage like A LOT of MILs do...then as Niks said...make an effort. All she is looking for is a bond with you. However small minded she may be...she seems to have much more forward thinking than many paindu MILs who believe bahu is pair ki jooti.
Just because they are much older than us doesn't mean they will do everything perfectly right. Her topics of convo may not suit your taste but at least she talks to you.