Re: communication and understanding
=(
there is no such thing as same wavelenght in a marriage. It's always wavy. We are always at the opposite end of the curve. Meaning if spouse is on the top curve, then you will be on the bottom and vs verse.
So there is no straight line... and those that say they are they are either in denial or are just projecting it for sciety that straignt lines do exist.
boooooo for them
Re: communication and understanding
^ i agree with the wavy bit NJMasti... but dont think everyone is at the opposite end of the curve.
Sure, the picture maybe hazy on one side, but with a bit of explanation and patience, both can get to the same point.. or at least a lil closer.
I am not in denial about anything. I admit we are not on a straight line, but we are certainly not on opposite ends :)
Re: communication and understanding
sadzzz i've been thinking about something similar the past few weeks. so glad you started this topic!
I have to agree with Silaaj.. it's all about accepting your spouse for who they are and not being judgmental about it. For me that's true understanding. Being on the same wavelength is like having similar goals and expectations, but IMO it doesn't encompass everything about a relationship. But once you can accept the good and the bad habits/views and can also talk about them without sounding like you're passing judgment, you can pretty much have an open conversation about anything. Unfortunately that's something that most people have very hard time doing.. and it's not just in marriages but in every type of relationship. Our natural instinct is to try and change a person so that they are a little more like us, since that makes us more comfortable.
In a marriage, esp in our culture, we have these expectations and sometimes outside pressure to meet those expectations, and so we turn to our natural instinct and try to change our spouse.. which eventually leads to a breakdown in constructive communication. sad :(
And I definitely agree with you that an "understanding" can be achieved after marriage.. as long as both the husband and wife are open minded and non-judgmental. Of course it's good to have similar goals and expectations in life before getting into a relationship.. and congrats on your relationship with your husband! :)