Difficult to phrase but common situation so try to understand. You are at this gathering of 50-100 Pakistani guests. Your zero-help relatives are there, so you absolutely do not want to create a scene or some gossip. You see a girl, her relatives are there as well, and you are sure you will not see her again ever if it’s left up to chance alone. If she is married, engaged, not interested, whatever. It is absolutely fine. Not worried about rejection at all, but worried if that is culturally bad or offensive or she or her relatives create a scene or gossip about it.
First Question: Will you try to introduce yourself in such a setting?
Second Question: Let’s say you are brother, sister, etc. of such a girl. Will you mind a random guy introducing himself to her?
Third Question: Will your answers be different if the gathering was in Pakistan? Why?
If you are genuinely interested in her, and her relatives are present simply go and talk to her elders, preferably, her parents and tell them of your interest in her.
I'm far from being any kind of expert in these matters, but I would fully expect it to create a scene or result in gossip if you tried to approach on your own.
It wont be appropriate in my opinion. I'd say try to find a way to know this girl more, see what she likes and dislikes, assess mutual compatibility, interests, outlook in life, expectations etc, then approach her parents with proposal in your mind. I just cant get my head around the fact a guy can possibly propose to a girl without even having spoken to her at all.
Yes it always ends as a “no move” for me in such situations , hence I never saw those girls again . Who knows one of them may have had no problem with my situation !
Your advice is amazing , I may try and customize it according to circumstances next time the situation arises . Remember, this is about situations where a guy likes what he sees for the very first time:attia:. So having genuine interest is limited to that at that point in time.
I’m far from being any kind of expert in these matters, but I would fully expect it to create a scene or result in gossip if you tried to approach on your own.
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Your Yes to question-2 is the big issue indeed:rule:. Lets say, trying what @LP has suggested above:konfused:, a random guy comes to you and starts to chit chat about random stuff(nothing serious) and gets your phone number or email:help:? And then over email or text convey the info. Does it seem rude/offensive in any way to you?
Sorry for the confusion:smack:, I know the original post is not phrased properly. In essence I meant to ask what is in bold and underlined in a particular situation.
I suppose I don’t have enough info about the context here. If opposite genders randomly chatting with each other in that setting is something normal/common, then it might not matter as much. Though I doubt your relatives will be in the dark about your intentions as others might be. If it is obvious that you’re approaching out of that kind of interest (i.e. potential marriage), then I would expect the type of issues that you’re trying to avoid.
I suppose I don’t have enough info about the context here. If opposite genders randomly chatting with each other in that setting is something normal/common, then it might not matter as much. Though I doubt your relatives will be in the dark about your intentions as others might be. If it is obvious that you’re approaching out of that kind of interest (i.e. potential marriage), then I would expect the type of issues that you’re trying to avoid.
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I failed again in phrasing.
I meant to ask, if a random guy walks up to u (assuming u r the relative of girl) at a gathering to chit chat and get your phone number or email:e6:. Then over text or email, tells you his interest in the female relative of yours and gives you his info. Will that be ok?
I asked the same question to myself. 10 yrs ago I was not mature enough and would’ve see the guy as abnormal. But now I’ve matured and don’t think I would mind now and will convey the info to the right person.
Pai Jan Choudhry, You going on a different theme. Apne Pakistan ki setting thori vakhri hai.
This how goes.
Pehle to 1 ghante tak nothing happens except Aankh matakka. As our Velvy's favorite actor Govinda bhai says Ankhion se Goli maare. Tishoon. Qasmay it doesnt matter that girl is a single, married, with brother, sister, husband but that eye ty eye communcado is on point. Aiwaeen thori Taher shah titled the song Eye 2 Eye
Phir kaheen corner men hello hi yani setting start hoti hai. Then you trade numbers. Then jo bhi hoga wo aapke talent pe depend karta hai.
The most sexy part of it is, anything iz possible. 100% anything. Banda thora jeedar hona chahye. Dat's all.
If you approached in way that it’s obvious that you are looking to potentially make a proposal for the girl, then your approaching directly (especially when you have elders there) might raise some red flags. However if you were to introduce yourself, chat and then end up exchanging business cards/contact info at the end and then you brought this kind of thing when contacting them afterwards, then I would expect a better outcome. But then you have the challenge of making sure you’re interesting enough for someone to want to keep in touch and exchange contact information. I’m not saying that you’re not someone interesting to talk to otherwise (I don’t even know you), it’s one thing you would need to do.
[quote=““Holy Lota””]
Pai Jan Choudhry, You going on a different theme. Apne Pakistan ki setting thori vakhri hai.
This how goes.
Pehle to 1 ghante tak nothing happens except Aankh matakka. As our Velvy’s favorite actor Govinda bhai says Ankhion se Goli maare. Tishoon. Qasmay it doesnt matter that girl is a single, married, with brother, sister, husband but that eye ty eye communcado is on point. Aiwaeen thori Taher shah titled the song Eye 2 Eye
Phir kaheen corner men hello hi yani setting start hoti hai. Then you trade numbers. Then jo bhi hoga wo aapke talent pe depend karta hai.
The most sexy part of it is, anything iz possible. 100% anything. Banda thora jeedar hona chahye. Dat’s all.
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That is quite informative:hmmm:. I’ve seen people do that but I just do not have that talent and absolutely do not want to create a scene:no:. If it works for someone, gr8. Plus, if I see a girl I like in the situation I described, then hardly I will have 30 minutes. Then either she’ll leave or I’ll leave, and I’ll never see her again:sunnyboy:. The reason for this thread was to discover :read:if there was a acceptable way to establish communication.
If you approached in way that it’s obvious that you are looking to potentially make a proposal for the girl, then your approaching directly (especially when you have elders there) might raise some red flags. However if you were to introduce yourself, chat and then end up exchanging business cards/contact info at the end and then you brought this kind of thing when contacting them afterwards, then I would expect a better outcome. But then you have the challenge of making sure you’re interesting enough for someone to want to keep in touch and exchange contact information. I’m not saying that you’re not someone interesting to talk to otherwise (I don’t even know you), it’s one thing you would need to do.
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I meant the second thing: just intro, chat, nothing about the girl. Then I guess the relative route is slightly workable:confused:. As I said I don’t care about rejection especially when going without family the typical way:rule:. I just want to make a quick and respectful attempt and then move on.
I was thinking:ahaa: of starting a thread where users can post about various Pakistani matrimonial sites that they have personally used. I used idealrishta.pk for some time and my experience was not very pleasant:pullhair:. The site has so many bugs and errors:mad3:. They had several limits for free users:kursi:,but even staying within those limits, there were so many bugs:facepalm:.
Yara ab iske lye to apne boby jani ko bulana parega na. He iz a PhD in tharki pan. Halanke his interest is mostly in young boyz but let check na how he pataeng someone when he lived in Tando Adam
, hence I never saw those girls again 
. Who knows one of them may have had no problem with my situation ! 
, I may try and customize it according to circumstances next time the situation arises 
. Remember, this is about situations where a guy likes what he sees for the very first time:attia:. So having genuine interest is limited to that at that point in time. 
Will that be ok?
But now I’ve matured and don’t think I would mind now and will convey the info to the right person. 
Plus, if I see a girl I like in the situation I described, then hardly I will have 30 minutes.
Then either she’ll leave or I’ll leave, and I’ll never see her again:sunnyboy:. The reason for this thread was to discover :read:if there was a acceptable way to establish communication.
thing: just intro, chat, nothing about the girl. Then I guess the relative route is slightly workable:confused:. As I said I don’t care about rejection especially when going without family the typical way:rule:. I just want to make a quick and respectful attempt and then move on.
Pakistani matrimonial sites that they have personally used. I used idealrishta.pk for some time and my experience was not very pleasant:pullhair:. The site has so many bugs and errors:mad3:. They had several limits for free users:kursi:,but even staying within those limits, there were so many bugs:facepalm:.