im at work…kinda bored.
so if all u guppies have some good desi jokes…then add them in this thread..but they must be very very good 
no fazool jokes..only jokes which can really make one smile or laugh.
shukran.
plz dont write 1-2 one or two liner jokes…only some good long proper ones.
here you go......
you asked for it.
This is how I heard.
1) A Sardar Jee was a train driver and was taking the train on his usual rout when all of a sudden train jumped of the track and rushed through the sugar cane field and after a while train got back on the tracks and continued on.
All the passengers on board were very mad and when train stopped the next station they went to the stationmaster and complained about the train driver’s stupidity.
Station Master called Sardar Jee and asked him what happened.
Sardar Jee told stationmaster that as he was heading this way, he saw a man standing in the middle of tracks. He blew the horn but he did not move.
Station Master told him that you should have run him over rather endangering the lives of all the passengers on board.
Sardar Jee told him Yes, that is exactly what I did, but when train approached him he jumped in the sugar cane field.
2) A man made counter fit money and accidentally he made a $15 bill.
Crazy enough to believe that he can use it. For that he drove to countryside and saw a convenient store. He went inside the store and saw a funny looking man behind the counter and he believed that he will use his $15 bill here.
He walked to the cashier and asked him if he can have a change for $15.
The cashier told him that he will give $14 for change. Man was very happy for getting $14 for a useless bill, so he agreed for that and said OK.
Cashier opened his cash register and gave him 2 $7 bills. -----------------------------------------------------------------
4) A 70 years old man won a lottery for $70 Mil. The family was very worried about him that if we broke this news to him, he might die.
The family calls a pschichaitrest and asks him what to do so the old man can enjoy at least some with this money.
The doctor happened to be the old fellows friend and was very happy for him and promised the family not to worry about this because he will tell him about the winning.
The doctor went to the old man’s room and start making fun and telling him jokes.
Both of them were having good time while all of a sudden doctor asked the old man what would you do if I tell you that you won $70 million lottery.
The old man replied I will give you half of it.
Doctor died right there.
5) A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
“God”, he said, “how long is a million years?”
God answered, “In my frame of reference, it’s about a minute.”
The man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God answered, “To me, it’s a penny.”
The man then asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
God answered, “In a minute.”
6) Boy: Dad, what's politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so
we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call
her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are
the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand
now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son.
That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He
goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his
mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there
having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.
The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.
Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.
Son: The management is screwing the working class while the
governmenats
fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of
****!
7) You may have seen this before, but I think it's hilarious.
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida........and they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be
"Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Lottery.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the
greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
8)
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't get something done, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't get something done, he's too
busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When you do it your own way, you don't do what you're
told.
When your boss does it, he's showing creativity.
When you do it on your own, your overstepping your
bounds.
When your boss does it, he's demonstrating initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss takes a stand, he's being firm.
When you violate a rule, you're self-centered.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're brown-nosing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being
co-operative.
When you help a peer, you're not busy enough.
When your boss does it, he's a team player.
When someone else does your work, you're passing the
buck.
When someone else does his work, he's assigning
responsibility.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering
around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you call in sick, you're going golfing.
When your boss calls in sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an
interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's
overworked.
When you're seen shopping during work hours, you're
screwing off.
When your boss is doing the same, he's picking up
office supplies.
When you get a raise, your lucky.
When he gets one, he really earned it.
When you do a good job, you get a pat on the back.
When he does a good job, he gets a bonus.
AND........................................................................
..................
When all of you do a good job, he gets a promotion!!!
I found a joke #3 disgusting.............
(I don't know about after jokes #3, b/c I didn't read them.)