My friend is on a break with his girlfriend after 2 years of being together…
They went on holiday to Egypt and this is the first time they have lived together as such…what he learnt is shes a good girlfriend normally but she was a nightmare to live with and they are on a break to assess whether they actually are suited to each other…
The argument obviously is youi only truely know someone if you live with them and to hwat extent do you feel this is neccesary…do you think cohabitation is a logical step before marriage…
My best friend has lived with his girl for over a year and everythings fine…which obviously is a good sign…cohabitation is essentially the trial run before you get married…so obviously if things work there then its likely to be the same when they get married…
what if living with the person ain't all that. but you love them. you want to get married. what then? break up and go off different pathways and be miserable the rest of the days?
They went on holiday to Egypt and this is the first time they have lived together as such...what he learnt is shes a good girlfriend normally but she was a nightmare to live with and they are on a break to assess whether they actually are suited to each other...
One vacation together isn't long enough a trial period to determine compatibility, and it's asking a lot to have her adjust to your friend's living habits. If everything else is well in the relaitonship, the two parties can communicate their likes and dislikes and see if they can adjust ot each other. If not, adios.
I think your friend is looking for a convenient excuse to dump the girl. :)
**LuxuryItem **Well they're on a break...its one of those we are piised at each other but we are gonna make up things...but he did learn a few things about his girl when he lived with her...i agree with you that a holiday isnt enough time...my best friend has been living with his girl for over a year gets on fine and that for me is a better acid test than jumping into marriage without this part...anyone i know who has lived with their girl has said you only know them properly once you have lived with them...
Khumar its a tough one but loving someone doesnt mean being able to live with someones mannerisms and habits...those that you love arent always the best partners for you...depends if you think with your heart or your head isnt it...
**Impulse **I dont know specific details to be honest...he wasnt in the mood to moan about it...i asked how she was and he said they were on a break...he just said she was a nightmare to live with...He knows though that he cant judge solely by that...
Ideally i think it's a great idea to live with someone before you get married because when you're going out with the person you only get to see the fun side of the relationship like cinema, restaurants or whatever but when you live together you get to understand how life would be doing mundane day to day stuff like washing, cleaning, putting the bins out etc...and each others bad habits...but i honestly believe that if alot of people lived together before marraige then they probably wouldn't end up getting married so maybe it's a good thing that you don't do it.
Also one of my friends has been living with her bf for 10years and has decided not to bother getting married as there's no need because their life is fine the way it is! But for us pakistanis the main reason we get married is so that we can live together.
There was some statistic a while back that if a couple cohabitates before marriage, it's likely they won't get married. The problem with a guy and girl living together is that they don't have a committment to each other. Married couples are somewhat forced to compromise and to look past the annoying things in order to make the marriage work. There's a lot at stake there.
When it's just a boyfriend and girlfriend, they have nothing binding them together.
Neither do I, Sara. It just shows a total lack of respect for each other. "I want to live with you and have sex with you, but I don't want you to be a real part of my life."
My hubby and i got married cos we wanted to be together. I never once thought abt living with him b4 hand and he would never had even suggested it even though hes white. I dont think many asian ppl would do it simply because it is so frowned upon. Personally it doesnt seem right to me. Just my opinion!
The proof should be in the pudding. If cohabitation before marriage, or as you nicely put it - trial run - was such a fantastic and reliable test, then we wouldn't be seeing so many divorces in western culture. Right?
Raatkirani's first post here made an interesting point as well. In addition, if this cohabitation is taken as a be-on-your-best-behavior-just-to-make-it-work, then in the long term when you are actually married the mask will come off at some point anyway.
Many guys who are used to single bachelor life, may find it nightmarish to live with anyone else, at least initially. I think Luxury Item has hit it on the head. Your buddy just wants out. I don't think a compelling case can be made, at least based on this example of vacation in Egypt, that pre-marital cohabitation is really such a wonderful idea.
A good friend of mine is white and has lived with her boyfriend for about 11 years now, they had always planned to be together but not get married. Granted they had their share of problems (like any couple) they managed well with chores/bills/going out/trust. Due to some incidents and I guess my friend got tired, he finally proposed. Now they got married (small church wedding).....but boy have things changed suddenly. The guy has suddenly overnight gotten so possesive. Like someone mentioned earlier, boyfriend/girlfriend there are no strings attached, you can drop them like a dime if a person chose to. No real reason to try and work things out.
Anyways my point was cohabitation isnt the best indicator of marriage material
The argument obviously is youi only truely know someone if you live with them and to hwat extent do you feel this is neccesary...do you think cohabitation is a logical step before marriage...
My best friend has lived with his girl for over a year and everythings fine...which obviously is a good sign...cohabitation is essentially the trial run before you get married...so obviously if things work there then its likely to be the same when they get married...
You don't really need to live with someone before you marry them.....providing both of you are prepared to compromise.....however if they are not the type to compromise then you really need to get to know them well before marriage.