Do you think it exist? I think its a term coined and used by people who like the illusion that whatever mess they were in has now ended. I dont think theres every closure. The people we are with, relationships, actions, experiences are all part of us forever. There is no closure.
Re: closure
/\ I second that.
Re: closure
Yes, the closure means ability to move on without letting your bitter past cast a shadow on your progress in life. The people we have been with, relationships, actions, experiences are all part of us forever, and our personality, attidue, character etc. is function of all those things. If you have learnt your lessons from the past happenings in your life, you have achieved closure. But if you let the bitterness of your past control your present and future, then either you have not reached closure or you never wanted to learn anything from your past.
But I believe many people like to live under illusions because it helps them to deny their past mistakes or gives them a sense of false hope for the future. For example, whenever someone on this forum shares the story of his/her broken heart, he/she is told: 'You'll get someone who's a thousand times better. Someone who deserves you. This person didn't deserve you'. This is an example of what I call false hope. Someone might get a better person, but the opposite is also possible. Remember that the grapes you wanted to eat but could not, were not sour even if they were sour. But you have to move on if you have any respect for yourself. Self-pity is just pathetic. Being open and accepting of the realities of life strengthens you. It doesn't weaken you. There comes a time when you truly get over the bitter experiences of your past and reap the benefits of hindsight. People give you false hopes because they think you're weak. You can prove them right by indulging in self-pity, or you can accept whatever life has to offer and make the best of it. However, don't try too hard to smile when you don't want to smile. Don't let yourself descend into a state of stupor. It could prove worse than any illusions. That's why a sense of closure is important. I therefore encourage people to induce a sense of closure rather than surrounding themselves with people who tell them that everything in their lives is just how it should be.
Your life may not be the way you want it to be, but you can improve it. You may not choose the circumastances you live in, but how you react to these circumstances is your choice.
Re: closure
Sometimes its not possible though. I will give you an example, theres this uncle we know who passed away two-three weeks ago and his body still hasnt reached his home where his wife and parents are, some paperwork problems and stupid saudis. Everyone keeps saying that once the body is burried, there will be closure. I disagree, i recently lost an aunt and no there is no closure. I still think about her, I still sometimes wonder if the doctor might have been able to cure her, if she had found otu about it earlier how things would be different. Sometimes i want her to come back. And even though she has been burried even though i know she wont ever come back, theres no closure. I have moved on but i am somewhere still stuck there. You always are.
Re: closure
i don't there is ever complete closure. the window is always open a tiny bit...and when the wind blows...it brings in the scent of old memories with it.
Re: closure
If a family member dies then there never really is closure...and there shoudlnt be really...im not suggesting you remain upset and not move on...just show respect and remembrance...
Closure for me is a negative term...it suggests that you want nothing to do with that person...so with an ex you dont wnt to see thats closure...to a family member...you dont want to forget them so its not closure...
Closure is finishing your relationship with that person...just cos that person isnt there doesnt mean the relationship isnt...