Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.” One little boy stands up and offers that, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” Clinton says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside…that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains Clinton. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
“What?” asks Clinton, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful!” Clinton beams. “Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!”
President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton’s ear.
All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, “Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!”.
She looks surprised but leaves.
The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, “No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!”
Bill Clinton was out jogging one morning, when he came to an apartment complex.
Sitting outside on the steps was a cute little girl with a big box.
As Bill jogged closer, he could see that the box was full of adorable puppies.
He went to the little girl and said “Awww…those are the cutest puppies”
The little girl said “These aren’t puppies. I call them Democrats.”
Bill thought this was really sweet and said “Well, that’s so sweet!”
A few days later, Hillary was jogging with Bill when they came to the same building with the little girl outside.
The girl was still there with the box. Bill nudged Hillary and said “Watch this.”
He asked the little girl, “What have you got there? Puppies?”
The little girl shook her head and said “No, not puppies, I call them Republicans.”
Bill was shocked. He said “But I thought you said they were Democrats???”
The little girl said “Well, they were…but now they’ve got their eyes open!!”
Bill and Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House.
Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. “Bill, Bill wake up.”
Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues, “Bill, Bill wake up.”
Bill finally wakes up and says, “What do you want?”
Hillary responds, “I have to go use the bathroom.”
To which Bill says, “Please tell me you didn’t wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom.”
Hillary says, “No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and former Secretary of Defense William Perry wanted to go to Oz, to visit the Wizard of Oz. Bill looked at Al and asked him why he wanted to go. Al said that he needed a brain, and Bill agreed with him.
Then, Bill asked the former Secretary of Defense why he wanted to go, and he said that he needed a heart. Bill also agreed with him. Then both looked at Bill and asked him why he was going.
He answered, “I’m looking for Dorothy!”
…