Re: Clingy Relationships
Many of our friends will cancel plans because "he can't come", or "she is working" .. So, if one can't come, the other will not. Unless one is sick, I really see no reason.. I can see how some might think of it as a respect thing, for example, not showing up to a birthday or wedding without their spouse and not wanting to have fun without them, but at the same time, that's even more disrespect to the couple hosting that event, and wanting you present to celebrate.
I am one of those people who do this. I do not go to parties/wedding etc. (non-work related events) if my husband can't come with me. The only exception I make is if it's a female-only event such as a "girl's night out", bridal/baby shower where only girls are invited etc. This is something I deal with regularly b/c my husband often works in the evenings/weekends. It has nothing to do with respect. In fact, my husband often tells me to go without him. It's me. I do not enjoy being at an event without my husband. I get bored. Even with I'm at a girl's only event, at some point, I start thinking about how I wish my husband was with me.
Of course, if it was the wedding or bday party of a very close friend....as in someone I've been friends with for YEARS and keep in touch on a regular basis....then I may make an exception (I haven't had to deal with going to a close friend's event without my husband yet). But if it's just a friend as in someone I haven't known for too long and someone I don't talk to /hang out with on a regular basis, then nope, I won't go alone. I don't care about them enough to make that sacrifice.
And it's selfish if the one who isn't coming to expect their partner to not go and have fun..
Yes, I agree that it's selfish for the missing part to expect the other partner to no go. But there is a BIG different if the other partner chooses to not attend the event without the missing partner. In your case, you didn't specifically say whether it's your friends that are choosing not to attend your event OR whether its their' fiance/spouse that's telling them not to attend alone.
it's life, get over it.. not every single thing can possibly be done together..
The same could be said to you being upset that someone isn't coming to your event. It's life. Get over it. Instead of worrying about the people that are missing, focus on the people that did show up at the party and have fun with them.