I have a good news ppl…InshaAllah I will be going for hajj in december:) I will be going with my hubby and his sis will accompany us as well.
so some of u who have been reading my posts know my sitaution with my SIL. for me hajj is a major purification process and I see the timing as an opportunity to clear up the weird situation with SIL.
I thought that I can talk to her that since we are going for hajj I want to appoligize if I have hurt her and that I also forgive for the times she has hurt me…now this conversation shouldnt be taking place in front of my hubby should it?
and do you think its a good/bad idea to talk to her since she kind of used my words against me earlier..
oh commmon...you have to talk to her before you guys go on haj so u dont have any hard feelings for her and you have peace in you heart....just talk with your hubby and just make sure hes around at the time you talk to your SIL...bus Allah miyan ka naam ley ker shuru ho jana...lol..Best of Luck :)
ok confused here.. what do u mean clearing up.. u both have never really accepted that u have had problems did u??? u dont really want to go and start digging things up do u?? likee u did THat at That time.. and i did that? .. or do u two Kno that u are fiting.. ??
if i were u.. i would just give her a good hug the last time i met her.. and say what ppl u usually say before going to hajj like " kaha suna maaf" kinda stuff u can actually put this into two sentences like " aap humari bari hain.. hum se i am sure ghaltian hoi hongi.. aap chota samajh ke maaf kar djyay ga.. "..:D.. stuff like that. i think the main thing is to clean ur heart.. u cant be saying these things and while saying them thinkin " shes soo mean. i am sure shes jealous that i am getting to go"... No.. no hard feelings.. shes ur hubby's beloved sister.. and so is urs..bring her some lil souvenir on ur way back:D. this is a fresh start by default make the best of it
ok confused here.. what do u mean clearing up.. u both have never really accepted that u have had problems did u??? u dont really want to go and start digging things up do u?? likee u did THat at That time.. and i did that? .. or do u two Kno that u are fiting.. ??
if i were u.. i would just give her a good hug the last time i met her.. and say what ppl u usually say before going to hajj like " kaha suna maaf" kinda stuff u can actually put this into two sentences like " aap humari bari hain.. hum se i am sure ghaltian hoi hongi.. aap chota samajh ke maaf kar djyay ga.. "..:D.. stuff like that. i think the main thing is to clean ur heart.. u cant be saying these things and while saying them thinkin " shes soo mean. i am sure shes jealous that i am getting to go"... No.. no hard feelings.. shes ur hubby's beloved sister.. and so is urs..bring her some lil souvenir on ur way back:D. this is a fresh start by default make the best of it
I agree with this completely.
Just be honest and sincere.
thats true that we havent really spoken of things before. only a few times did she tell me some stuff explicitly but the way I have dealt with her so far is to ignore her behaviour. its another story that I am not able to ignore it totally and have to deal with it inside myself...
that is the reason for me finding it weird to talk openly to her before hajj cuz we never spoke about it before.
she will be going with us for hajj and I will perhaps share room with her as they sepearate men and women....
Just say something like "I'm going for Hajj, and I want to make peace/amends with the people in my life. If I have ever done anything that has upset you, then I'm hoping you can find it in your heart to truly forgive me".
Obviously exapnd on it.
It's about your experience
and finding peace within yourself, and forgiving others who have hurt you.
Whether she wants to do the same with you or not, is up to her.
It's your Hajj,
forget about anyone who has hurt you, let it go, focus on making it a good experience.