merci,
although i am not sure why its diff to see them coming from a guy, Not all desi guys are oafs who were crowded 6 to a filthy apartment all through their undergrad 
I guess some folks just go thru their life having someone baby them 
mother, servents, wives, and later in life probably kids..
I am an organized person, its makes my life simple and relaxing.
filthy toilets, overflowing desks, crammed closets, and so much junk on the floor that u cant see teh carpet color.. and peculiar smells of masala were common to many desis.
I am glad that my parents encouraged me to manage my junk, my laundry etc. The impact of that was that when I started living on my own I had the habits needed to manage my apartment.
Fraudia my paki, you said it, me and my wife are EXACTLY like that. Do things immediately. We wake up together usually so we make the bed as soon as we get out of it, it always goes faster when 2 people make the bed.
Same with dishes, as soon as we're done with a meal, the dishes are done immediately or put in a dishwasher. We have hardwood floors, so I usually sweep the floors but she vacuums the rugs. She always does the laundry and cleans the kitty litter. I always mow the lawn and take the trash out. Anything with the car (washing, oil change, tire rotation, etc), I do, anything with the cat (shots, kitty litter, feeding, grooming), she does. We both have our own chores and we seem to both think that we got the better deal with our chores.
I thought that I was the only desi man in the world who did so much around the house, as most desi men have the mentality that house work is beneath them. Good to know there are others out there.
nice nice nice.......
Saadia B , Faisal , mehroo , irem n all ........
irem.......i have spent 4 years of my life in hostel ......i have a really good idea of cleaning situation there ( n imagine it was a desi hostel in the heart of Pakistan.....:D.......but still i can't help it
faisal n SaadiaB......i think u r right
mehroo.......at least someone can understand my situation......so what do you think.....am i tooo lazy.....??/
so the conclusion is that i should take a break......
hehe .......i'm toooooo desi to do that
anyway ,thanks......!!!!
try flylady.net
good ideas and they have a mailing list with reminders.
Dont mind me saying so, but I think part of the issue is psychological in nature. My mother has the same problem. It never goes away because its in her mind that she must do certain things in a given time or else a full-days work is not considered done. I think you need to evaluate why you think this way and then realize that its not that everything doesnt get done that needs to, its that you are pushing yourself to meet demands that can never be met. Fact is, nothing can be done perfectly, and I think that is sort of what you seek in your routine. Just realize that its a daily process, things get dirty, you clean them. Time limits are fine, but dont kill yourself because you didnt meet a certain task by 12 midnite the same day. I think you need to prioritize WHAT is at the top of the list to get done within a day. Then start spreading out your chores over a few days. Because I saw my mother like this, it drove me to be the opposite, but thats just me.
Just my opinion, dont be mad please. Thanks.
Munni.....:)
while going through your post for a moment i thought its my husband with the nick "Munni":D
no i don't mind it ...................coz i hear it quite often ......but then again its in my nature so how can i change it ....:)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Afia: *
Munni.....:)
while going through your post for a moment i thought its my husband with the nick "Munni":D
no i don't mind it ...................coz i hear it quite often ......but then again its in my nature so how can i change it ....:)
[/QUOTE]
hehe. I guess he tells you the same thing hmm. grin
You dont have to change it if you dont want to, but you can prioritize as others have stated.
My Ammi hasnt changed from day one eventhough we all tell her the same thing. Its almost as if Ammi gets an adrenaline rush out of it or sometin. smile
aahmed
i guess for some u can say, u can take the guy out of the pind, but not the pind out of the guy. Its simply idiotic in this day and age for a couple where both people are professionals to have the house chores and management respnsibility on one.
I have however seen these cases, some in my own family where the husband and wife both work the same number of hours and then he controls the remote as soon as he returns and she does everything else..yardwork and bills to cooking cleaning and helping kids with homework.
hehehe Afia..maybe, i should have written more..so here i am with more details.
To start with we do have a gujmug karta apartment...and i do clean vigorously..and i never want my parents or siblings to do any safai related jobs..if i am around. Haan, they can do when i am not around.
Lot of things we do on need basis actually..like as soon as garbage is full..we'll go and throw it in the shoot on our floor. As soon as something spills..its taken care of right away. If i am using tub in the washroom..i clean it right away. If something drops something on kitchen table..its cleaned right away.
like i said food is cooked everyday..
The whole apartment has carpet..except for kitchen.. and kitchen is cleaned everyday as well..we hardly get dust here..and our carpet hardly gets dirty.
Utensils are cleaned right away..my father always washed his plates..and asked all of us to do our own chores..so now my brothers are well trained to wash their own mess..but i do often wash their stuff if i am standing there.
Maybe, my father and brothers might not do things i do..but my father does other things all the time..he'll make salad at times..or will lay the table..will clean carpet if he sees something on it..sometimes if he wants tea..he'll just put it on stove..and will even ask other family members if they want some :) He's very helpful MashaAllah.
Stove gets cleaned once cooking is done..microwave gets cleaned often too..
Now laundry: once the laundry is done..everyone hangs their own clothes..most of us don't do ironing once laundry is done..coz most of us have wrinkle resistance and stretchy clothing..also we add fabric softener..so we don't need ironing..only few clothings need ironing including shirts and shalwar suits..which we all do when we have to wear them. Even my father does iron his own clothes..sometimes before work early morning and sometimes at night.
When i said cleaning twice a week..it included everything..i start from washrooms..then i move on to walkway..do take care of shoe rack..jacket rack..etc..then i move to kitchen..i do cleaning, mopping, drawers, cabinets, walls, fridge, microwave..everything..hehe, infact i climb the kitchen counter and clean the roof..then i move to living room..i clean the dinner table then i clean tables, furnisher, computer table..change water of my indoor plants and artificial fishes..wipe off the windows etc. Then i do take care of bedrooms.
Suggestions for you: First of all.. never ever think that you are a failure..coz when a person start believing in negative thoughts..depression kicks in..so tell yourself..what if i didn't do certain thing..there's always a next day :) I am telling you all this coz i used to be a cleaning freak..and i used to get irrated..but not anymore..coz i made peace with my innerself.
i am assuming that your laundry, folding of clothes and ironing take up lot of time..i am just saying that coz i have been through that phase..so maybe, if your kids have enough clothes..try doing laundry 3 times a week..if possible.
You don't need a week of vacation..what you can do is that few things to your routine life..and it will balance out things for you..hopefully.
Take your kids out for a walk and take them in a nearby park..go with them on the slides and rides..it will help you in rediscovering your inner child..and by laughing off some moments with them..you might be able to reduce the daily stresses of life. If you don't wanna accompany them on the rides..stand around and talk to the ladies around..most of them are housemakers and by talking to them..maybe some of you might find common solutions to several problems.
Also you can volunteer 2 hours a week on a certain day in a daycare..take your kids along with you..your kids will enjoy sometime with other kids..while you can enjoy the time with kids and instructors.
How about you visit a library once a week..while children read and play in toddler section..you can read a book that interests you during that time..maybe nutrition or parenting or religion or international languages or whatever you enjoy.
Once in a while you can buy a disposible camera..and can take out..let them take photographs..they'll enjoy the time out and so will you..
I am sure..you can do so many interesting things :)
Qrius very nice reply :)hum se inshAllah aap ke mashwarooN se zarror faida uthaeeN gaye inshAllaha . thanku dear .
Qrius…u r such a nice person …
i really liked your way of describing all your routine…n most of all your suggestions …
actually what i meant was that i assume all of you (in your family) are grown ups or at least there is no toddler/ pre schooler etc.
i understand what you say but my dear …perhaps the situation is a lot more different when younger kids r around …my kids r aged 2 n 4 …actually the younger one is not yet 2…most of my work routine depends on moods n demands of my kids…my husband works for 12 hrs a day …7 days a week …rarely he takes a day off or so but when he is around its really different …MashaAllah he is very cooperative…he keeps on giving me suggestions n sharing my work (sometimes i feel i’m sooo selfish)
but when he is not around i have to bribe my kids even to take a bath (n still i have to keep a check if they r in some dangerous business…)
i don’t know where do you live but in my area social activities are not that easy …majority of ppl living here r turkish (sometimes i feel i’m living in istanbol:D)…n most of turkish women can’t speak german so you can’t communicate wit them …n believe me at least in this area there is no desi family …just too many desi guys…
as a conclusion to all that i 'll say i should listen to my husband who tells me to take everything lightly …:)like Munni was also telling me that
anyway thanks for your wonderful reply…