I’m not aware of hte proper etiquette when it comes to this, so I ask here–as a host, do you start doing the dishes and cleaning up teh kitchen while people are still over, or do you wait until the last guest has left? Does it matter depending on whose visiting?
I understand for those who have dishwashers…you can just keep putting the dishes in the washer as you go along and turn it on when its full…but if you don’t have ?
Do you accept help from a guest who offers to clean up?
i have noticed two opp things in uk and pakistan when a dawat comes up.
uk - when the food is served. everything is put away there and then and everyone helps out in washing up etc.
pak - when everyone is done with the food. the guests go an sit in the tv lounge while the host cleans the table on which they ate. the washing up etc is done when the guests have gone. (its different if its a shaadi wala ghar or a big milad thing or another big event)
guests who offer to help we initially say them no but if they insist then we accept it.
the best is to do the dishes later on when everyone has left since it doesnot look nice that host is cleaning while the guests are in the sitting room. unless u can see your guests are willing to help you in cleaning up.
in the beginning i went with the pakistan approach i.e clean up after all the guests have left coz my kitchen didnt have dishwasher n it was a small one n i wanted to clean n wash the dishes with peace of mind not while running around serving guests but i noticed this weird thing that ppl sp relatives from in laws didnt like it n wanted me to clean up asap, so later when we moved n i had a bigger kitchen i started cleaning up as soon as they were done eating but that left me n my daughter hungry so i said mitti paoo n now i have my cleaning lady come n do the clean up after dawat for me:D
I have a friend, I hate visiting her now, coz as soon as we get to her place she insists on serving food .. like immediately ... fine, not a big hassle..so we start eating and the minute the first person is done eating on the table, she will pick up their plate and start washing it ...
Then when everyone is done eating, she will be busy in her kitchen, clearing it up while we linger around in the living room waiting for her and getting bored !!!
Personally, even though i have a dishwasher , I do not do the clean up until the guests have left... I feel its more important to be with the guests and make them feel important rather then running into the kitchen , as that gives others an image of "maseebat daal di in ki ghar aa ki "
normally it takes no more then half hour to 45 minutes to clean up after the dawat is over and guests have left...
Oh and one more thing, no matter how much the guests insist that i let them help me in the kitchen , I dont ... I dont like it that i invited them to enjoy the evening with me , they have come wearing all those nice clothes, why should I get them to help me do the dishes , spoil their clothes ... so I let them relax ...
When i go to their place , I do offer to help , but they dont let me help them either out of respect for the guest ... plus, its really difficult , in your own kitchen you know where to put the dishes, in a new kitchen you have no idea what to put where ...
Here in Pakistan, we clean up the sitting & dining area as soon as they get finished eating but clean up the kitchen after every one has left so as to give them due time.
A lot depends on the type of guests. Good friends and relatives will usually insist on helping out with the clean up, which is kind of nice. Ladies can continue their chatting in the kitchen while doing the dishes etc.
I clean up, put extra food away, make packs of food to be taken by guests right after everyone is done eating. I don't let anyone help me. I like to do things fast and my way. I know how long it'll take me to get the dishes done. I tell everyone to enjoy as I prepare dessert and make tea which I do while washing dishes.
If its very close relatives or friends (like my or her sister, couple of very close family friends) who does not mind this, in fact help us, we start doing it while they are there. These type of guests normally stay late so it makes sense to cleanup and then relax, sit and enjoy tea together.
If its other people who are not-so-frank/close, we just gather everything in Kitchen, attended guests and start cleaning up once they leave. These types of guests normally leave 30-60 min after dinner.
It depends on who it is, if its close family or friends we usually do it straight after. Or at least the majority of it putting the first load on in the dishwasher, but leavethe saucepans.
Anyone else, I'll clear the dining area, so the food isn't left out in the open. rinse dinner plates and put them in the dishwasher as I make tea. Then sit with guests and do the rest after.
Before I had a dishwasher, I'd just clear the food away then do the rest later.
Generally the people we have over aren't too formal, so we just help each other put when visiting.
in the beginning i went with the pakistan approach i.e clean up after all the guests have left coz my kitchen didnt have dishwasher n it was a small one n i wanted to clean n wash the dishes with peace of mind not while running around serving guests but i noticed this weird thing that ppl sp relatives from in laws didnt like it n wanted me to clean up asap, so later when we moved n i had a bigger kitchen i started cleaning up as soon as they were done eating but that left me n my daughter hungry so i said mitti paoo n now i have my cleaning lady come n do the clean up after dawat for me:D
That's strange! Usually guests will encourage you to do the opposite, which is spend tiem with them rather than clean up asap...!
our usual scenario is that we dot do dishes until most ppl are gone, the close pals who stay back to kick back and just hangout help with some cleanup while we get more drinks and second serving of desserts (or secret dessert stash comes out). we do the same at their place.
otherwise, let it pile, we will deal with it later, and later does not mean right after the party. put away food and stuff, but dishes can wait for a day . why stress over it.
actually at most of the davats/parties I've been to, nobody ever did the dishes while people were still over. If food was served on paper plates, it would go into a big garbage bag that was set somewhere...otherwise, dishes would go into the washer.
in fact the only time I saw someone clean up during the davat was my MIL....then again it was just us family so I dont' know what she used to do back when she would have guests over.
I guess its just the UK thing then , coz people literally start cleaning up while you are still eating been to a couple of places … dont feel as comfortable going to those dawats coz it feels like we have just burdened the family !
been to a couple of places … dont feel as comfortable going to those dawats coz it feels like we have just burdened the family !